Going Jan 09 OBLC?

I am my love

Just for everyone elses benefit (who didn't already know), airforcecapt and I are married.

just plain curiosity airforcecapt and forwaters:

you both got kids??? i.e. 2nd marriage for you both? met as civilians etc? (hope you don't mind me asking).

some may already know.... I am in a relationship w/ a Major in the Reserves (he's an S3 in a Unit that I will not be assigned to (he's in a MEB) I will be in a CSH) and I am planning on keeping it that way. There are just some stumbling blocks (kids..... ex-wife.....kids) that just always seem to get in the way of ever thinking future. Anyway, just was curious if other people dealt w/ same factors and how they got past them, and now we'll both be military........... ARRGGGHHHH!

Runninmom,

Forwaters and I have been married for over 14 yrs, met as civilians and have two kids, 14 & 11. Hopefully, we won't ever live too far apart from each other and the kids aren't babies anymore...good luck with the multiple family, moving and kids is a nightmare just with the two of you, but add an ex...ouch!!

well, it's much more complicated than I explained it and more time consuming and energy sucking. Especially where his kids are concerned. And where his ex wife is concerned, my exhusband could care less.

oh well. Good for you all and congrats for making it work!

:bowingpur and

Don't mind your asking at all :) I think it's a great idea to talk about how we are all dealing with family concerns.

We have been very happily married for just about 15 years now; neither of us were married before. We met just as I was leaving AD AF back in '92. We have 2 kids; one 14 and one who will be turning 12 while we are in OBLC. Our little guy also happens to be deaf. Both of our kids are very proud that I used to be in the military, that their mother is still in the military, and that we will both be continuing in service to our country. Service to country is something we have always tried to impress the importance of upon our children.

Military families have unique challenges, and dual military families take those challenges a step further. Without a commitment from the entire family (single or dual military families) military service can prove to be a very difficult path. We have always felt as though anything is possible as long as the whole family is on the same page though. It also helps that our kids are a bit older now... not really sure if we could have made this work while our kids were younger. I think our individual perspectives play a large part in it as well... growing up a military brat myself, I think I see things differently than someone who may not have, especially with regards to our children. When I sometimes worry about our children (who doesn't) and wonder if having both their parents in the military will be a good thing or not, I am able to draw on my experiences as a kid growing up in the service. No matter what was going on, whether my father was at home or separated from us, knowing he was doing something as important as serving our country was always a sense a pride for me. The military life style and sense of community was also something that I thrived off of as a kid growing up in the service. Drawing on those personal experiences and knowing that my children share many of those same thoughts helps me to overcome many of the doubts we all have when considering military service.

My wife and I also try to think beyond today or tomorrow (doesn't always work though :wink2:). What I mean by that is this: Yes, we know that dual military service will bring hardships on our family. But we also try to keep in perspective that our children, no matter how much we love them, are not going to be at home forever. That we have our futures (the part without kids) to plan for as well. 6 years from now both of our children will more than likely not be living in our home any more (unless they choose to go to college locally... wherever that may be). Keeping the above in mind, we also look to our parents and recognize the struggles they are having at this point in their lives... with the exception of my father (help of a military retirement; pension and medical benefits), none of our parents are in any position financially to retire. The prospect of having to work until we croak or physically just can't work anymore... then becoming a burden on our kids is something neither of us wants. When we think long term for the reasons mentioned above, the sacrifices that our family will face in the short term become in our minds a very reasonable "price" for the prospect of an actual semi-comfortable retirement at a reasonable age. Between the thrift savings plan, 2 military pensions at Major or Lt. Col. (think thats a realistic expectation) and the retiree medical benefits my wife and I just might be able to pull off what none of our parents have.

:banghead:well i was debating on replying or not because I know that this board is not a therapy sessionbut you never know it might help someone else. as indicated I have 7 kids. I was married to an alcoholic and I decided i AND THE KIDS would be better off without him after 17 years of marriage back in 1999. between all that I had one kiddo get dx;'d with cancer, another get hit by a car....and other life stuff. after the divorce my oldest (the one that got hit by the car) at 17 got an oui that was after she hit a guardrail and a tree stump broke her r femur in half and nearly got thrown through the windshield in the process. didn't learn her lesson though and at age 19 got a 2nd oui.... anyway, a year and a half ago 17 year old got dx'd w/ crohn's disease........ and just last week 21 year old oldest son called me while I was at work in the ER too drunk to drive. My BF went to pick him up found him at the side of the highway passed out behind steering wheel, with engine wheel he was lucky he didn't kill anyone, himself nor did a trooper find him. but you know my kids know how to work... my oldest has been working since she was 14, my 21 year old works full time in a warehouse and my 17 year old w/ crohns works at KFC/taco bell and studies culinary arts so there's my dys functional family story. My bf';s dysfunctional family story he's been married twice.... he's older two boys are wonderful..... now power of work know how to work.... oldest ones a cook.... youngest one works as a cook also and as a tattoo artist (I wear one of his pieces on my right forearm the kid has talent had to get a waiver to join the anc) the youngest two.... must be something with the mother.... the poor 20 year old got a case of strep and ended up w/ PANDAS got diabetes and OCD...can't get out of his own way (but damn it drives me crazy) the 14 year old is so entitled and he is the issue so disrespectful, bold... just doesn't care...... expectful..... scott does his damn laundry even.....he;'s been living up there full time cause he can't get along with mommy and he'll actually physically fight with her. I can't stand it.sorry!

runninmom,

is your bf in the military?

Yes. He's a major in the army reserves. He is the S3 for the meb maneuver enhancement brigade out of westover afb in Chicopee Massachusetts. I will be going to a CSH out of west Hartford Connecticut