Funniest complaints

Nurses Humor

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Specializes in ER/Critical Care.

I would like to hear what some of the funniest complaints you have heard from patients.

I had a woman this week that complained about EVERYTHING-she was just miserable no matter what we did for her. Finally, after slaving away for her for two nights, this morning I went in around 0430 to check on her, sure she had nothing left to complain about.

I was met with muttering and moaning, and I ask her how she is doing. She tells me she is terrible (which has been the standard response), and wants me to let the sunshine into her room. I inform her that it is 0430 and the sun is not yet up, to which she tells me that if I would just open the blinds to her windows the sun would come in (and yes, she is and has been completely oriented-just demanding and unpleasant). I tell her that the blinds are open but the sun just has not come up yet, but as soon as it starts to get light she will be able to see it. She sighs with exasperation and tells me to just open the blinds so she can see the sun. I walk over to the open window and point out to the darkness, to which she replies:

"Why are you being so terrible to me? Why won't you just let the sun come up?"

At that point I just had to walk out of the room. :rolleyes: I mean, even on my good days I know I am not enough of a Goddess to control the rising of the sun and the moon-but apparently I'm a bad nurse because I won't make the sun rise at 0430!! Seriously, I think that's the funniest patient complaint I've ever had....I wonder how that will look on the patient satisfaction survey :D

Specializes in med & surg.

hi

thank you about thes supject .because it make my remember many fuuny complain i face it during my work , and thes one of it :

=> last yeare i stuck in hospital for 2 day's in winter because of snow which is somthing happend once or twice every years in may countre and when that happend all road , car and even the car of fair department stouk some time .

i work in floor i have pt male abouve 70 yr's old and how do a lap chole befor few day's and he full recuvard and in plan for discharge in the day befor the snow storm and pt know by doctor about discharge and pt keep asking about going home and we keep tilling him that it snow out ther and we cant get you out of her untill the all road open and your son came to take you and he was thinking that we laying on him al time . about 3pm i was making around with my partner when we see the pt try to get out of room and gooing out and we follwe him and he start running and while he saing you all layers i awill go home alone , while we talking to him we reach the door and the old man open it ,then he surprise and make his funny statment :

((( oh may god......how you bring the snow in summer....how do you do that .....all that to stop me ....... what i do for you ..... what i do for you )))

note :sorry im not very good in english so for give me about the nestake in writen

I just had a 28 year old.... who was in "so much pain" she couldn't go home the night before despite being being fine just 2 hours prior and ready for discharge. (She cried and begged doc to let her stay a 2nd night for what is usually outpatient to 1 night at most) Come up to me at 4:00am (I guess she did like 3-4 laps on the unit trying to find me)...

Asking me to "Make her bad dreams go away". She was crying because she had a nightmare and wanted me to fix it.

It took every bone in my body to not laugh and ask her if she wanted me to bring her some warm milk, and read her a bedtime story and show her no monsters live under her bed. :chuckle

Sheesh....

Specializes in Ortho, Case Management, blabla.

On a PG survey my manager showed me someone had written (and I quote this verbatim);

"THE REASON PEOPLE ARE DYING, YES DYING, EVERYDAY ON YOUR UNIT IS BECAUSE OF YOUR SHORT STAFFING!!! THAT IS A FACT!!!! (capitals and exclamation points written on the survey)"

It is funny, because we haven't had anyone die on our unit in 6 months, and prior to that it had been 6 months, and both of them were terminal weans from the ICU that got transferred down to die in peace.

My manager and I had a good laugh over it.

Specializes in CVICU, Burns, Trauma, BMT, Infection control.

I had a pt who was delirious b/c of burn sepsis(he lived) yell "Get those ****** cats off my airplane wing!!" I left the room laughing.:chuckle

Specializes in critical/truama/alchol drug rehab.
hi

thank you about thes supject .because it make my remember many fuuny complain i face it during my work , and thes one of it :

=> last yeare i stuck in hospital for 2 day's in winter because of snow which is somthing happend once or twice every years in may countre and when that happend all road , car and even the car of fair department stouk some time .

i work in floor i have pt male abouve 70 yr's old and how do a lap chole befor few day's and he full recuvard and in plan for discharge in the day befor the snow storm and pt know by doctor about discharge and pt keep asking about going home and we keep tilling him that it snow out ther and we cant get you out of her untill the all road open and your son came to take you and he was thinking that we laying on him al time . about 3pm i was making around with my partner when we see the pt try to get out of room and gooing out and we follwe him and he start running and while he saing you all layers i awill go home alone , while we talking to him we reach the door and the old man open it ,then he surprise and make his funny statment :

((( oh may god......how you bring the snow in summer....how do you do that .....all that to stop me ....... what i do for you ..... what i do for you )))

note :sorry im not very good in english so for give me about the nestake in writen

hehe that would be funny

old people can do funny and say funny things

right out of the blu lol

leah :heartbeat

Specializes in Postpartum.

Once had the father of a bili baby in NICu come storming out of the NICU and out to the desk. when asked if he could be helped he said very loudly:

I am very upset. You have my baby back there naked, and there are boys in the room!!!!! You have her blindfolded and under McDONALD's lights!!!!! why are you torturing her??????

We very calmly had to explain to him that the baby boys could not see more than 3 feet in front of their faces so his daughter's privacy was kept, and that the "blindfold" was to protect her eyes from the UV LIGHT that is helping to taking the jaundice away.

He said "oh" and slunk back to mom's room. LOL

Once had the father of a bili baby in NICu come storming out of the NICU and out to the desk. when asked if he could be helped he said very loudly:

I am very upset. You have my baby back there naked, and there are boys in the room!!!!! You have her blindfolded and under McDONALD's lights!!!!! why are you torturing her??????

We very calmly had to explain to him that the baby boys could not see more than 3 feet in front of their faces so his daughter's privacy was kept, and that the "blindfold" was to protect her eyes from the UV LIGHT that is helping to taking the jaundice away.

He said "oh" and slunk back to mom's room. LOL

Oh wow, I bet that lil' girl is gonna have a hard time getting through her teenage years!:heartbeat:banghead:

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