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Discussion

Frustrated

Hi,

This is a vent...so, I am such a little health nut (most of the time, but have been eating and drinking stuff lately that can pack on the pounds), so I order salads a lot. Well, I have been avoiding vinaigrette because of possible alcohol content. I thought honey mustard was a safe bet. Well, Chick-Fil-A's honey mustard has white wine vinegar in it. I did not use it, but then I thought back to my salad at the Cracker Barrel and the honey mustard on it. I am scared now because the next day I had a drug test and now, I am afraid I will test positive because of possible alcohol containing ingredients that I didn't know about. I am tired of being afraid and trying so hard in this program.

And then, there's the Board order. It is now online. I don't expand upon what I have mental illness wise, but now it's out there for everyone to see. A part of me died when I saw it online (I felt like I had been "outed"). I have to admit, for a split second, I thought about turning in my license and asking them to take the order down, just so my diagnoses are not out there.

I am looking for a part time job and I found a couple I am going to apply for that I am qualified for. I thought about it. If I can get one or both of those jobs and keep the jobs I already have...I am tempted to relinquish my license. I hate admitting that. I love having my nursing license, but I want acceptance. And unfortunately, health care providers don't have that.

I want a career field that I can be happy in and that people (including my co-workers and peers) accept me in.

I feel awful because I love people and truly wanted to help them. I also wanted a specialty that makes less than your average nurse. Nursing, for me, was not a money making job. I just loved people, wanted a career that would challenge me and that I would never stop learning in, and wanted to change the community for the better.

It is the moments like this that I tell God "if You want me to be a nurse, You will have to get me through this because I am about to give up".

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    So, technically...if someone has a history of depression then they would have to report to the board when applying for licensure of a mental health history? That seems absurd!

    I saw another nurse post here saying that she was being investigated after making some errors at work and the board investigator had records of every pharmacy she had ever been to! How is that legal? Does the board have the authority to check the medical and pharmacy records of every nurse or nurse applicant even if they have never had any legal issues or complaints?

    I am just learning about this and it's shocking to me!

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    • Author

    JS, yes, they have that right. I know you are in TN, so I don't know the laws in TN, but in VA, we have the Code of VA. The application asks about mental health hx and chemical dependence issues. The BON can deny someone a license because of it; I have an order because of my alcohol abuse and mental health issues (even though I am treated) and am in HPMP.

    It's hard seeing it online, but I understand why. I am just thankful they gave me a chance because I actually could have been denied a license because of those issues.

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    Help,

    I am dealing with the same issues of powerlessness, feeling demeaned and utterly helpless because of the board and the situation that I am in. They have pretty much deemed me unfit because of a mental health issue and are asking me to show cause or accept a five year suspension. I feel like I have no choices, nowhere to turn to explain how I am feeling, the overwhelm and the feelings of powerlessness are terrible. I feel like I have no option but to accept the suspension and to go along with PHMP for 5 years. My husband says I am lucky I still have a license but I can't get rid of these feelings. Every time I look at the papers I get those feelings or realize the situation that I am in. And no one can help me feel better about it. I feel like ****. Like there' s no hope for me. Please if anyone has gone through this please pm me. I need some help and encouragement.

    Thannks,

    BEONe77

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