DEVASTATED :( need input

Hello guys, wanted to write to vent a little. .... I graduated nursing school may of 13, and unlike the rest of my classmates decided to take some time to myself before taking nclex due to the crazy life I lived during nursing school with a toddler, a crazy boyfriend (at the time, now ex thank god lol), all while working three part time jobs, so of course I needed the break, although I did take Kaplan a week after graduation in which I wasn't really focused on because I was working a 11p to 7 a home care job and I would go right to class from work. So of course that wasn't my very successful.

Well I have to say that was the biggest mistake of my life! As time went on all of my friends from school passed nclex, got jobs, and here I was lollygaggin. So three months after graduation I decided to take my nclex for the first time 2 days after my daughters 3rd birthday party. ... mistake, I just wasn't focused by any means at all, and suffer from ADD, but still decided to do it As you guys would imagine I took the test and got all 265 questions and did PVT sure enough I failed! I was devastated but had to brush myself off and try again. Gave myself a week and started studying I used Kaplan strategies, Saunders, and ncsbn review, I didn't study over board but definetly alot more then the first time.

Took my test again in December I believe and once again failed with 248 questions, broken down once again FAILED , feeling like a failure, stupid, not competent I picked myself up and decided to retest again. I purchased Hurst review, and actually enjoyed the videos and the review all in all but because of the crazy job I worked, my daughter I had to take care of and sleeping during the day, I basically studied when I had the time which was majority of the Time being at work. This time around i had a different mentality i was less anxious, and just more confident. I took the test may 8th all 265 questions with my last being a SATA aboutt preventing UTI in children. I was super ecstatic cause I felt like I knew the answer answered my last question and left the testing Center calm but unsure of how I felt, which is unusual for myself cause I'm usually a nervous wreck.

I got home and was super hesitant to check PVT for the third time because I was so afraid to be disappointed, but about 2 hours laterr I decided to check and I got a pop up that stated " The candidate already has a open registration for this exam, a new one can not be created at this time" I thought this was the "good pop up" so I yelled into my mom Omg i think I passed overwhelming with joy chills throughout my body. It felt so surreal.

A friend of mine decided to take me to dinner and while I was at dinner I recieved a email from Nclex registration acknowledgement informing me that now that I have taken my boards is certain that I have questions go to this link to read FAQ etc which I Thought was very weird and strange cause I never recieved that before, so naturally I wanted to go back on my phone and check the PVT again, thinking I was still in the game and I would get the same message, I went thru the steps and hit next, and the ******* CREDIT CARD PAGE CAME UP AGAIN! I felt like my world came crashing down all at once, thinking how could god be so cruel to get my hopes up just to have me fail?

I am flustered and don't know what to do. After reading other forums what I thought was the "good pop up" turned out to not b the one I recieved. What the heck was the pop up i did get? Why me? Has this happened to anyone else? Of course I refuse to give up cause this is my dream but I am a little discouraged, I don't know where to begin or what to do! Any suggestions? My ATT expires June 26th, my state requires 45 days Between test whichh makes me eligible again June 23rd, so needles to say I need to take this weekend off and start fresh on Monday, the problem is I just don't know with what and how. ppl please comment and help !!! Thanks