Checking In

Formerly KEL65 here. Ok, does anyone else get strange butterflys in the stomach, a sick anxious feeling before you hit the button in the morning to see if you have to test.

I am and have been squeeky clean for three years and two months, so I don't sweat the tests. But that hit the button time, waiting to see if the screen will load green or pink...

Today was the worst. My last day is tomorrow. I was in torment, yet resigned to seeing pink, having to test....thereby prolonging the program.

It's just that three second wait to see if it's yeah or nay! That three second wait to see if my morning plans need to change. That three second wait to see if I can have another cup of coffee without fear of dilute urine. That 3-second wait to see if I will have to worry about whether I can produce enough urine.

Green today, "thank you for checking in" and carry on with your life. I leapt with joy. I have plans. My heart may burst when I finally checking to see that my account is no longer active.!!

Hang on everyone!! The end feels so good. No desire for my doc alcohol or anything else, just a strong desire to finally live my life without worrying about incidental exposure, or waiting for a color on my Android screen to tell me how I will proceed with my life today.

Your time will come everyone!!