Calling All Nurses : All Help Welcome

allnurses Guide · Nov 28

First of all your friend needs to take initiative to address this issue. While your efforts on her behalf are kind and well meaning the discription of events by a third party are seen as hearsay evidence which is the weakest kind of evidence there is! She has choices to to make. Either she escalates this up the chain by directly reporting the bully to a house Supervisor. (First wrung on the chain of chain of command) or letting her feet do the talking by quitting and getting a new job elsewhere.

I will add and this is only my humble opinion, that most of what is described as bullying on this forum just boils down the general incivility in todays culture. These people are everywhere and we need to arm ourself with a set of appropriate coping skills and strong boundaries.

Many years ago I was working at a pet store as a dog groomer in one of those big box pet stores. When a new groomer was hired, She immediatly started to sabotage the other groomers so she could get more clients meaning more commissions. I tried being nice about it until she tripped the shampoo girl on her way to the washing station while she was carrying a dog. I pulled the bully aside and while I usually don't advocate threats, let her know that what comes around goes around and she needed to change the way she treated her co-workers. After that she settled down and we even gained a respect for eachother's skills.

Of course this was over 20 years ago and times were different, but strong boundaries like strong fences make good neighbors.

Hppy

medicrn2 · 2024-12-04T14:55:39Z

The person must make complaints, preferably in writing, to HR. Additionally, I suggest the person start a notebook in an old fashioned marble note book, documenting each event and who was present (with date and approximately time). Once this is reported to HR, if there is no action, the person needs to see if they fall into a protected category under EEO laws.

Then the person must keep documenting the events (save any emails into PERSONAL EMAIL !). If nothing changes, can file a complaint with DOL and check joint commissions as well as Magnet sites.

This will set up a chain of documentation for potential whistleblower protection.

But, either way, the victim must be the one to make the complaint. You can help support the victim and can even document events you have witnessed.

DYMaui · 2024-12-04T15:06:09Z

I was a new grad in an OR at the hospital in the town I grew up in. I went through HELL there to establish myself in the only area of nursing I truly loved; all but one of the older, seasoned nurse there treated me BAD. There was one nurse in particular who was horrid. Then she became our unit manager & her treatment of me worsened, calling me a terrible mother & struck/ hit me twice! As a survivor or abuse, I didn't have the tools or mindset to recognize her behavior as abuse and her striking me as battery where I could have had her arrested. I mention this as sometimes you have to view this behavior outside of the realm of a "Human Resources" issue to how would you view this behavior if you were out in your community and this same action occurred to gather the strength to identify and address this behavior for what it is. With a truly sad heart I found out that GOD, karma, the justice of the universe or what you choose to call it, she got hers in a way that is truly heartbreaking. With the help of years of survivor therapy I recognized that hurt people hurt people and I wish her peace.

toomuchbaloney · 2024-12-04T15:19:39Z

We can't fix toxic work environments we can only protect ourselves.

nrsjaki · 2024-12-04T15:53:34Z

I got bullied and left nursing for a few years.

I went back only to experience the same thing. However this time I was armed with the knowledge of keeping notes, emails and such. I left my last job and filed a charge with the EEOC for constructive discharge because I had enough evidence to do it.

I would have her visit the EEOC's site, find out what comprises a constructive discharge and build a case for it by keeping notes with dates of the lateral violence. It costs nothing to do. Then I would begin looking for a new job.

WhortonOKC · 2024-12-04T19:06:49Z

Former Paramedic '76-80, RN BSN '93-24 (ICU, Psych)

Yeah,

I have something to say that will not be very popular but is very true. Nursing is one of the most toxic work cultures I have ever experienced in my life. I retired earlier this year after 31 years as a BSN RN.

When I first started in June of '93 we were one of the last classes to take the paper test over two days. There was no significant nursing shortage at that time in Oklahoma. Due to the hospital, I was working as a CNA at only hiring 7 of 31 CNA's, I had to join the work search after most of the class was hired. When I did find a position, an older LPN showed me the ropes for the outlying hospital. . another RN, who was about my age, set about backstabbing from day one.

Over my 31 years, it rarely ceased in one form or another. Being a guy in the field seemed to put a special target on one's back. As if one was set on getting a unit manager position from the outset. Except that I never wanted a management position. .

I wish I could say that I am not resentful about the matter, but I am. Never had a problem when working with other men, but women? (sorry ladies' generalizations to follow) Consistently the backbiting, and backstabbing were pervasive. Almost every job had a problem with it. Women who were co-nurses would smile in your face and stab you in the back. It was rarely managers, but CO-WORKERS. . women that had no reason for such behavior.

My theory (over several years of observation) was that the difference in communication was largely the problem. Men tend to have disagreements, "get in one another faces" and put the matter behind them. While women tended to hold anger in, and often waiting weeks or months before retaliating in some petit way.

I would add that I never minded the 05:00 requests to help change, or clean up patients, disproportionate numbers of requests to help, "pull up patients" or "help with a bed bath" or change. . .in addition to doing my own work. But geez, the petit BS was almost unbearable. Nursing is it's own worst enemy.

Had I known what I knew even after a year in, BEFORE I accepted the slot in a state 4-year degree granting program, I WOULD HAVE NEVER GONE INTO NURSING . . .Worse, I suggest to anyone considering it to find something else to do in life. Nursing CAN be a satisfying job, save for the gaslighting about what a great job it is. Until you get in and have to put up with the nonsense and pull the knives out of your back.

Yes, I know my response is biased, but I am embittered after 31 years of the nonsense. I would have left years before were it not for the pay. (Which was not worth the emotional toll.)

Cindycin48 · 2024-12-05T11:36:43Z

I was bullied so bad that I left nursing for four years. I had trouble articulating myself due to a medical reason I did not know about at the time, but now I am doing well with treatment. Bullies look for individuals who are weak in some way, and I was the perfect victim for them. I don't want to find a nursing job outside of the hospital setting because bedside nursing is my passion. Now, I am ready to return to the bedside, but I am not looking forward to the bullying which I know will happen because it comes with the territory. Sadly, bullying has become normalized. However, this time, I have confidence in myself and will keep a record if any bullying occurs. It is crazy how bullies are so good at manipulation. For example, I had a unit secretary befriend me so she could get personal information from me to use against me when the time came to bully me. She would not help me at all with anything and even messed with me using other coworkers as her little minions. I think she was just bored. I would find her doing her homework on the computer and surfing the Internet. The manager would join in on the fun, too. It would be great to find an anti-bully nursing club or something to educate nurses on how to deal with the various bullying tactics.

Footballnut · 2024-12-05T16:43:28Z

I left a toxic work environment in nursing for one that was supportive. The unit I chose, although not perfect, was a delightful place to work. After I changed units, my family said that I was a much happier person. Although I think addressing the bullying is one way to deal with it, there's nothing that says you have to stay in a place that makes you feel bad or may even make you sick.