A disease?

Chief, I am sorry you're feeling discouraged. Dont give up . . . . things will happen they way they are supposed to. I also had many cosequences from my active addiction, and thought I wd never get through it, but I did. I can also tell you that I have seen other nurses in the same predicament, they also didnt know how much more they cd take, but they got through as well. He'll never give you more than you can handle (just feels that way sometimes - and feelings are not facts.) Yes, this is a disease, a disease of perception as well - which is why my sponsor was a huge help, as was my nurse support group. Are you in one? No, you never will be the same again, especially if you work the steps in your daily life and use the principles of the program. You'll have tools and new ways of coping that are awesome. You may also say one day that you are "grateful for this disease" because your life will be better than you cd ever have imagined. Are these extravagant promises - I think not! Blessings and hugs to you!

Thank you for that. I have a sponsor. I met with her this morning for coffee before my AA meeting. Its going to be a wonderful sober day!:)

Yep...we have the disease of addiction. Your experience is humbling. Learn from it and move on. Take it day by day, be grateful your employer is ready to take yoou back in whatever capacity. If they want you to work in the kitchen take the job and be grateful. Pray, work the steps and talk to your sponsor. I am learning every day. I humble my self every time I go into an interview.

as i am sure you have already heard, you are not alone! i had to go back to my dr. to extend my LOA from work another few weeks so i could atleast get paid while the whole long process of getting my contract from the state got done. well, that was sept 2nd and i thought i would be back to work by then. i was suspended from my hospital may30th, did 6 weeks of IOP and was told by HR that i still have a job when i get back, just not where i was working, which was er. so 2 weeks ago i faxed my contract to hr and finally today i talked to the woman who is working on finding me a spot. i am glad i talked to her finally because i was worried i was getting pushed to the bottom of the to-do list. anyways, she called me today to tell me she is having trouble placing me due to my narc restriction but i have been on the top of her list. monday she is meeting with the vp of hr and vp of nursing to discuss my case. *fingers crossed* so i am playing the dreadful waiting game. and there is no way i can go back to my doc for another extension because last time i went there, 3 weeks ago or so, i was able to return to work but he was cool since he knew i was getting the last of the paperwork done.

so eventhough we may feel stuck or in a rut, we just need to be patient and "let go and let god", or let your higher power take over.

good luck.

Sassy-

Did you get your license back active after 3 months? Can you go back to your old job? I have to go 6 months with an inactive license. im going back to my old job when they are active.That means I do not go back to nursing on my floor probably around Feb. HR told me I could expedite my treatment. I asked her what that meant. She said you can ask your rehab to fax them something that says I can work now. Hmm. I told them im not ready, maybe in a few weeks. Im sure they will have to put me in a position of non nursing. Im just curious why she would say that. Is she looking out for the best interest of me? Doesnt she want me to finish 90 day rehab? Im half way through.

FINISH THE REHAB! Take it one day at a time. Do not try and jump back in. I tried to do that and ended up relapsing. Obviously the person at your work does not know what she is talking about. Is it not the Board who is restricting your work? I have some sobriety time anf From my own experience i can tell you.....as much as you may dislike the punishment, resent those in authority etc....stay the course. Go to a meeting every day. Talk daily with someone else in sobriety. It took me two years to realize that the punishment that was being handed down was for the best. Early in sobriety I went right back to my old position and i was using in no time..... If you need to talk feel free to drop me an email..

chief,

i was suspended but still have my license. i was in the er so i will not be going back there due to my diversion. at first i was mad and sad. i loved the er and i worked there right after nursing school as a grad nurse then got my license soon after. it was always what i wanted and i knew i was lucky to get in as a fresh grad w/o working on a med-surg first. so i was mad i blew it (of course now i can't do the blame game on myself) and was sad because i will miss my coworkers and the job itself. it took some time but i realized that even if given a choice, i would not put myself back into an unsafe place. i would be setting myself up for a relapse. i always heard people say how its easy to get cocky too after some good clean time...well, i am getting into 4 months and there are days i feel like i never had a real problem. scary. i just remind myself of what i did and all the desperate things i did to get my fix and how it escalated. this tells me that even 5 years from now, i might feel like i want to return to the er, but i know i shouldn't.

i am hpoing to find a 2nd nitch. i am only 27 so i dont want to settle. i will take what i get right now but if i don't like it, i will search elsewhere that is recovery friendly.

now i was told on the day i was suspended, may 30th, that i can return. right now they are looking for a position. i may not get one due to my narc restriction. i honestly don't want to be around narcs at all even if some other nurse is passing them for me. too tempting. so i am worried about what's going to happen with this. i will hear from HR today or tomorrow.

GL and keep your head up.

oh, and finish treatment. i have no idea why they would suggest you just have a note sent to them. when you are finished your treatment team will send paperwork to your job stating where you currently stand with your recovery.

mz-

Not only do I want to finish rehab but I have to. The board says to. I will find out Wens if I am accepted into the Alternative program. Work wants me to come back now in a non nursing position I assume. HR told me if I wanted to come back now I could and still go to rehab. I agree with you and my sponsor. Finish rehab first! My sponsor suspects they dont want to pay me disability thats why they are giving me a hard time. I want to come back when rehab is done even though I won't have a license. I will do any other work. Hands down Im accepting all those consequenses. I really need to finish rehab first. Who is in rehab and working? Thats a little off if you ask me. Whats your email?

Chief,

Read this information form the National Institute on Drug Abuse...

http://www.nida.nih.gov/scienceofaddiction/

You can actually order it for free, read it online, or download a PDF copy. Yes, we have a disease of the brain. It's physically and chemically altered and will never return to the pre-addiction state. That doesn't mean you can't have a productive, happy, long life.

Things will get better. The longer you can stay away from your job as a nurse the better. I relapsed several times and finally was prosecuted and received 3 years probation (could have been 8 years in prison). I also lost my license. All because I kept returning too soon. Recovery has to be the priority. Without it you will eventually lose everything else important to you...including your life.

Everyday clean means one day closer to feeling better than ever, and one day closer to getting back to nursing.

HUGS from Cincinnati!!!

Jack

Right On Jack

I appreciate the reading. I read it all. I also appreciate your story. I just did my first step. The reality of not ever using again was so scary at first. I thought, yeah right when im done with this program im going to celebrate with a vacation with a margarita in hand. I did my first step just this past Friday with opposite feelings. I do not want to travel down the same road again, its not worth it. I love being sober even on those rough days.