Not Sure If Nursing Is For Me!
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Hello everybody,
I really need every helpful feedback on this issue. I'm so confused and troubled.
I've been dreaming and thinking about being an RN for a long time. I even got hired last month as a PCA. Yesterday was the first day I shadowed a PCA, and, it was a nightmare. Before I start working as a PCA, I was thinking that I'm going to learn many clinical skills like: EKG, IVs, Phlebotomy,...etc.. But what I saw yesterday was the most disgusting thing that ever happened to me. Bedbaths, wiping butts, basic care..etc..
I work in a Medical Renal unit, and almost all patients are very old, unable to move or speak, and severly obese and smelly. I was about to throw up many times, and I can't get rid of the smell even after 36 hours.
I don't want to sound selfish here, but guys, being a CNA is a very hard job and not everybody can do it.
I went to medical school in my home country for many years, and I was not disgusted by the dead bodies, by dealing with patients for taking medical histories, recording signs and symptoms, or even in the surgery room, where there was a lot of blood.
I was truly hoping to be a nurse anesthetist. But after what happened yesterday at my job, I'm starting to believe that I can't be a nurse ever. I don't think I mind doing basic personal care once in a while, but I can't imagine doing it for living.
I know many nurses in the outpatient clinics that don't have to do that kind of annoying stuff. Can't I just work in an outpatient facility where I don't have to deal with patients that are staying for a long time?
I now feel so sad that my dream of becoming a nurse is going away.
Please help me.
Thanks