Well, I reapplied to the bon the first of March and finally have had communication with them. Followed by the official "you are under investigation" letter (again). During the phone call with Mrs. Monitoring, she asked if I understood that I would need to go through an evaluation. I said yes. She asked if I understood I would have to follow-up with whatever recommendations they had in order to remain compliant (whether it be in patient or out patient etc). I said (I know from lurking this forum they don't care) that i only had barely enough to cover an evaluation, and that if rehab was suggested I would be at a loss at what to do-again. I expressed to her how absurd it would be of an evaluation to recommend such, that I've been sober for three years.... She replied that she isn't saying that they will suggest it. My question is...can they? My parents are trying to keep me positive by saying if the evaluation goes well and they see who I am now (i suffered and learned and grew from that and AM sober and have been for 3 yrs) that they couldn't do such a thing and everything will be "fine" and I'll just move onward into monitoring land. And again, after clinging to this forum to feel less alien and hopeless.... I'm honestly scared that they will do such a thing.

Did you get an attorney, or decide against it?

Decided against it...well truthfully didn't have too much choice in the matter ($). Also, finally spoke to an attorney who specialized with such cases (from that site...its late I can't think of the name of it) and she said she didn't think obtaining a lawyer would put me in any better an outcome...so I quit looking for legal help.

My suggestion, for what it's worth is to research the list of people that they send you to choose from for the evaluation and make sure that whoever you opt for is NOT affiliated with any kind of treatment facility. I think you'd get a fairer shake when you go in there and state "hey, yeah there was a problem but I got sober, I've stayed sober, I have family support. Hey, I made it through school and I've got a child and all kinds of great things going for me." Keep a positive spin on everything you've done, as opposed to "I don't see what rehab would have to teach me, I can't afford it....etc."

Considering all of the above, unless you run into the sleaziness that I did, I cant see the purpose in recommending rehab anyhow. Given that you've already resigned yourself to the idea of getting saddled with a contract and assuming the evaluator has any sense of ethics, I would see perhaps a one year contract. After that, they need to leave you the **** alone. Or frankly, leave you the **** alone to start with. But we all know the money sucking vultures aren't going to do that.

Catsmeow, the list was short and they are all IN facilities. I've been told that I'll have to be away for 4-5 days for it. Period.

Oh that blows chunks. When I was told that, it was no ******** evaluation. It was the first week of the 90 day torture that they rammmed everyone unfortunate enough to darken their door through. I'd had the initial evaluation elsewhere with another quack who "recommended further testing" or some bull jive like that. I wound up at this place for this so-called multi day testing and the only thing that was multi day was that it took a few days for them to con my family into puking up the money.

At this point, I don't know. I guess you have to hedge your bets on the ethics, or lack thereof, of who ever you go to. I think someone in another thread said something else about pleading the no money, "scholarship bed" etc. thing, if they try to pull crap on you.

Oh God!!!

Sober for three years and facing the possibility of IOP or Inpatient. Life is strange in Nazi Monitoring Land. Your sobriety should be celebrated and not scrutinized. These idiots love the whole 12 step process. If you can get somebody to vouch for your commitment to working the whole 12 step process like a sponsor it may help. If you sing the official company song about how the Big Book saved your life, you found your higher power, yada yada yada... it may help. I hope fervently you are not another victim who loses their ability to be a nurse just because you couldn't pay the extortion these programs demand. Nursing needs a more human face with flaws and all. Good Luck!!!

I don't know if anyone will even see this. But I am feeling a bit solemn this morning. Graduation and pinning ceremony in three weeks. I will be walking and being pinned, 5 months after graduating and never having taken the nclex-unlicensed, without a job, and still with out any foward progress with this Board. Back in January I said I would not let this define my success. But now...i can't say I feel that way. Mostly I imagine walking and feeling shame. So sad. I had looked forward to that walk and pinnig, with my daughter looking on in the crowd since she was born. I am her first example. Instead....it is all of this. And it doesn't feel like a celebration or accomplishment.

You did accomplish something!!! This is a giant roadblock that you have to work through but you can!!!! The blackest & bleakest days of this program is when you are facing the uncertainty of what they will do to you. I had to take a year off school and lost many thousands of dollars in wages. Not to mention the sheer misery of the BS this program forces people through. However, you can get through this. I am and trust me I'm nothing special