A very close male friend has a new girlfriend. She is an ICU nurse. I have only met her twice and my friend states he is in love with her. I have a big big problem. The last time we went out she broke out a bag of coke. She admitted to me she had a drinking problem as a young teen. From what I saw she still has it. She did mix coke and alcohol that night. My friend told me she doesn't do coke on the days she works. I don't know if I believe that or not. I know where she works. I know her Director. If I tell even without using my name they will know it's me. I will loose my friend who means the world to me, but the ethical and professional in me is giving me the kick. It's been bothering me for a long time. I would like some other opinions before I make up my mind. I know what I should do and I know what will happen if I do it. HELP.

Lori

That was very bold of her to break out a bag of coke in front of you. Sounds like she's getting careless.

I think the proper thing to do is first approach her and insist that she seek treatment. This is a serious problem. If she doesn't do so, then take the next step.

That was very bold of her to break out a bag of coke in front of you. Sounds like she's getting careless.

I think the proper thing to do is first approach her and insist that she seek treatment. This is a serious problem. If she doesn't do so, then take the next step.

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Approaching her is not an option. It will be viewed as a threat. This is a seriously disturbed person and my friend is compleatly taken by her. I agree it was really stupid of her to do it in front of me as I am moving into her area and we will probably run into each other professionally. I have discussed this with my friend (at length) and he doesn't see it as a problem. What they do in the privacy of their own home is their business. I thought it was very rude to have done it in front of me especially knowing I am against it. I am angry about being put in this situation. I almost feel as if it was a friendship test. How can I trust her with narcotic keys? I have read up on Coke abuse and the effects of mixing it with alcohol and the more I read the more scared I get. Now I feel like I have to choose between someone I love very much and do not want to loose as a friend and a professional situation that I know can effect the lives of others if she makes a drug induced mistake. I really wish that that hospitals drug tested more often. This would take the pressure off of me as she would be caught on her own. Drug abuse in the medical profession is a rising problem. It is so easy to substitute saline or dilute down

pain meds especially in an ICU situation where pain meds are used so frequently and patients are often unaware of surroundings. This situation is bothering me so much that I have dreams about it at night.

Lori

Lori

How well do you know this woman? Do you feel comfortable enough to have a heart to heart with her?

If someone confronted me, about anything, when I was first dating my SO (now husband) I'd have reacted in a v. negative manner. Then I would have dumped him. Just to be excrutiatingly clear, cocaine is not something I'd touch.

Perhaps you could speak to your friend about his new love's behavior. Barring that, it's really a very touchy subject for your to become personally involved in. Now, if she works on your unit and you have reason to suspect that she is working impaired, it is your duty (in the state of Illinois, anyway) to report impaired nurses or suspicious behavior. Whether you speak to the unit manager or the BON is up to you.

Good luck. This is an ugly situation, no matter how it shakes out.

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Approaching her is not an option. It will be viewed as a threat. This is a seriously disturbed person and my friend is compleatly taken by her. I agree it was really stupid of her to do it in front of me as I am moving into her area and we will probably run into each other professionally. I have discussed this with my friend (at length) and he doesn't see it as a problem. What they do in the privacy of their own home is their business. I thought it was very rude to have done it in front of me especially knowing I am against it. I am angry about being put in this situation. I almost feel as if it was a friendship test. How can I trust her with narcotic keys? I have read up on Coke abuse and the effects of mixing it with alcohol and the more I read the more scared I get. Now I feel like I have to choose between someone I love very much and do not want to loose as a friend and a professional situation that I know can effect the lives of others if she makes a drug induced mistake. I really wish that that hospitals drug tested more often. This would take the pressure off of me as she would be caught on her own. Drug abuse in the medical profession is a rising problem. It is so easy to substitute saline or dilute down

pain meds especially in an ICU situation where pain meds are used so frequently and patients are often unaware of surroundings. This situation is bothering me so much that I have dreams about it at night.

Lori

Lori

We're all told to be whistle blowers in school. It sounds good on paper and to management but is not practical in the real world. She may have coworkers that are close friends that may take a dim view of you ratting her out. Unless you're prepared to make a change in employers, you may want to keep a lid on it. She'll eventually make a mistake or get snared by a randon drug test.

I've only been in nursing since January but have seen enough errors to keep me in the manager's office for hours every day. I'm not perfect either and would prefer to continue working with my team, not under their scrutiny.

llgrn, you're in a particularly bad situation. While its true (not right, but true) that if you blow the whistle you may become an outcast in your own facility, its also very true and very likely that this person will do something (unintentional) that may well cost one of her patients' their life. I doubt you could live with knowing that you did nothing but stand by. I hope you couldn't, anyway.

You COULD drop an anonymous note by employee health (providing your facility has that, or a similar department) -print it on a printer, put it in an envelope, just make sure you put the name of the person and that you know they are impaired. Coke will test positive, and they can always pull a "random" urine test, after all. Few unions have rules that prohibit that, and you didn't mention that you were unionized anyway.

Its not in my nature to be sneaky, but this is serious business, and you shouldnt have to lose your job over doing the right thing, however, I also live in reality, and have seen others be 'punished' for doing 'the right thing'.

Approach her? Her problem is way beyond that. She even admits she has the problem (started with drinking problems when she was young, she says) -she obviously doesn't have the will or desire (or both) to stop it -the fact that she would pull it out in front of you should be enough evidence of that.

How well do you know this woman? Do you feel comfortable enough to have a heart to heart with her?

If someone confronted me, about anything, when I was first dating my SO (now husband) I'd have reacted in a v. negative manner. Then I would have dumped him. Just to be excrutiatingly clear, cocaine is not something I'd touch.

Perhaps you could speak to your friend about his new love's behavior. Barring that, it's really a very touchy subject for your to become personally involved in. Now, if she works on your unit and you have reason to suspect that she is working impaired, it is your duty (in the state of Illinois, anyway) to report impaired nurses or suspicious behavior. Whether you speak to the unit manager or the BON is up to you.

Good luck. This is an ugly situation, no matter how it shakes out.

I've only met her twice. It was on the second meeting that she did this. I do know that in the first month that they were dating they got into a fight and she put 4 holes in the wall with her fist. My friend is blind as a bat and compleatly, utterly gaga over this woman. She is young and cute. He has a long history of falling for the wrong type and getting hurt. I have no doubt this relationship will not last forever. This woman's mother was divorced 5 times, she is already divorced once. She has a history of alcohol abuse, smokes pot, cigerettes and her perfered drug is coke. Did you ever see a speeding train about to hit a loved one. There is nothing I can do about the relationship. He will choose her over me in a flash. He is that far taken with her. At this point talking to him is a waste of time. I hate to say this but he did it with her. Same drugs, same alcohol etc so they both don't think what they are doing is wrong. I am going to end up losing him as a friend because of this situation with her but he will be back once he is hurt. I am just so upset I needed to vent.

Lori

The hospital I worked at ran random drug tests. Did so once after a long weekend. Someone had informed HR anon. that so & so was using hard drugs. So to keep anon, they selected a group of people from the hosp to do random drug tests on. All legal.

Everyone just thought it was randomly done, the only reason I knew was because of a conversation held unintentionally in my presence. I never did say anything to anyone-didn't want to be the person to open up that can of worms.

Even if the person does get caught, reprimanded etc. they most likely will still not realize there is anything wrong in what they are doing. Especially if they see themselves as "social" users.

Sad situation for you and your blinded friend. So sorry.

Hello everyone,

I am not as of yet a nurse but I do work on an inpatient psych unit in a hospital system and I know several techs and nurses who smoke marijuana, someone informed our DON and a drug testing on all employees was performed. I am not sure of the outcome but our company provides drug rehab counseling and probation and mandatory drug testing after rehab is completed. Maybe your facility offers the same.

Is there a way that you could allert your DON but keep it anonymous? If she has done it in front of you, there is a good chance that other people have seen her do it as well and she may not be able to pinpoint you as the person who 'ratted her out'.

This is such a Catch-22 situation, if you tell then, a random drug testing may be performed of all employees, if you don't say anything then quality of pt. care is compromised. I would talk to your friend first.

Good luck

pepper

A very close male friend has a new girlfriend. She is an ICU nurse. I have only met her twice and my friend states he is in love with her. I have a big big problem. The last time we went out she broke out a bag of coke. She admitted to me she had a drinking problem as a young teen. From what I saw she still has it. She did mix coke and alcohol that night. My friend told me she doesn't do coke on the days she works. I don't know if I believe that or not. I know where she works. I know her Director. If I tell even without using my name they will know it's me. I will loose my friend who means the world to me, but the ethical and professional in me is giving me the kick. It's been bothering me for a long time. I would like some other opinions before I make up my mind. I know what I should do and I know what will happen if I do it. HELP.

Lori

Seems like you not have much of a choice do you? Either you tell on her and risk losing a friend or just turn the other way and pretend it doesn't exist. Which doesn't make sense since you are here

I say that if the friendship means more to you than risking the health of others, don't do it. I don't understand what kind of real friend would be so upset to end your good relationship for something that is absolutely wrong etically, morally, etc... Maybe friends like those should be avoided

In my opinion.....I would go ahead and talk to the Director and make it clear that you don't want her to find out it was you. I am sure they can plan something like having and unexpected urine analysis or drug test of some sort and catch her that way.

I know this sounds mean, but trust me I do not mean it this way.....If you have cared enough to be here and stressing over the situation, then do what you should and that is report her (she doesn't have to find out). By the way, you have no guarantee that you are the only one she has ever admitted to doing coke.

Or, there is always the option to not get involved and look the other way. I know the situation stinks and it is a hard choice to make . Ultimately, you have the last say.

I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide, God Bless :)

Jessica

Maybe you could send an anomoynus letter stating that several nurses are known to take drugs. That way, no one person is singled out and then it can be done as a random drug check. People might suspect you, if it even gets out that somone sent a letter, but they won't have proof. I'm sure other nurses know about it so everyone will probably think one of them just couldn't take it anymore.:)

I've only met her twice. It was on the second meeting that she did this. I do know that in the first month that they were dating they got into a fight and she put 4 holes in the wall with her fist. My friend is blind as a bat and compleatly, utterly gaga over this woman. She is young and cute. He has a long history of falling for the wrong type and getting hurt. I have no doubt this relationship will not last forever. This woman's mother was divorced 5 times, she is already divorced once. She has a history of alcohol abuse, smokes pot, cigerettes and her perfered drug is coke. Did you ever see a speeding train about to hit a loved one. There is nothing I can do about the relationship. He will choose her over me in a flash. He is that far taken with her. At this point talking to him is a waste of time. I hate to say this but he did it with her. Same drugs, same alcohol etc so they both don't think what they are doing is wrong. I am going to end up losing him as a friend because of this situation with her but he will be back once he is hurt. I am just so upset I needed to vent.

Lori

I've only met her twice. It was on the second meeting that she did this. I do know that in the first month that they were dating they got into a fight and she put 4 holes in the wall with her fist. My friend is blind as a bat and compleatly, utterly gaga over this woman. She is young and cute. He has a long history of falling for the wrong type and getting hurt. I have no doubt this relationship will not last forever. This woman's mother was divorced 5 times, she is already divorced once. She has a history of alcohol abuse, smokes pot, cigerettes and her perfered drug is coke. Did you ever see a speeding train about to hit a loved one. There is nothing I can do about the relationship. He will choose her over me in a flash. He is that far taken with her. At this point talking to him is a waste of time. I hate to say this but he did it with her. Same drugs, same alcohol etc so they both don't think what they are doing is wrong. I am going to end up losing him as a friend because of this situation with her but he will be back once he is hurt. I am just so upset I needed to vent.

Lori

If she smokes pot, then that shows up for longer in one's system as far as drug testing. I think cocaine is only 24-48 hrs or so. This woman works in the ICU? Unbelievable.

What about dropping an anonymous note in her manager's box suggesting a random drug screen? They ought to do it on her first day back from work after her time off. If her manager is the type to sweep it under the rug in order to keep a warm body in a hard to staff unit, then drop the note elsewhere.

A very close male friend has a new girlfriend. She is an ICU nurse. I have only met her twice and my friend states he is in love with her. I have a big big problem. The last time we went out she broke out a bag of coke. She admitted to me she had a drinking problem as a young teen. From what I saw she still has it. She did mix coke and alcohol that night. My friend told me she doesn't do coke on the days she works. I don't know if I believe that or not. I know where she works. I know her Director. If I tell even without using my name they will know it's me. I will loose my friend who means the world to me, but the ethical and professional in me is giving me the kick. It's been bothering me for a long time. I would like some other opinions before I make up my mind. I know what I should do and I know what will happen if I do it. HELP.

Lori

Sorry-friend or not, your obligation is to the patients that she may treat. period. Anonymously report her to the director, employee health, anyone.

Do something. How will you ever know if she isn't endangering patients? I worked in a hospital pharmacy years and years ago, and the nurse-manager (head nurse, back then)on the m/s unit was stealing narcotics for her addict son-signing out as if she gave to patients, but didn't. One of our pharmacists figured it out-the floor nurses, some of them, had an inkling that something wasn't right-I think some of them had a feeling of what was going on (back then NM very rarely signed out narcs, as they very rarely had patients)-but didn't tell because they were afraid to make waves, "hurting" the NM-I still think about patients that did not get their pain meds-You have this knowledge make a difference with it. Sometimes doing the right thing sucks, but you still have to do it.