Wednesday August 19th 2026

I slept one hour last night, sweated and twitched, and I am feeling nausea in waves. I reckon I'm going through alprazolam withdrawal. Yes I am dependent on it to get to sleep because it stops my million-miles-an-hour mind from thinking thinking thinking thinking, but I don't consider it an 'addiction', because I don't abuse it and I take only the prescribed amount in the prescribed way. I have been without it since Sunday. These symptoms are quite unpleasant to say the least. But I reckon at the visit I made to the 'doctor's office',( to an APRN, two of whom are the only medical staff in addition to several nurses,) apparently I did not get dramatic enough because four hours later the refill has yet to be faxed to the pharmacy. I'd appreciate this being done in a timely matter. I'm not being a 'drug-seeker' and I think my request is reasonable given the circumstances. I have rec'd no call-backs from that office to acknowledge I even left a message with my name, DOB, and phone number. And they want me to rate their office already, online on a "public-facing forum' no less? I don't think giving them an 8 instead of a 10 requires any explanation by text. I could go and throw up in the lobby, but I am not an oafish lout with no class. However, I certainly don't feel heard or respected. That is today's complaint. And you KNOW I am being restrained in my reaction.

PFFTTT!😝

Well, hallelujah, I got a call back from the APRN's office and they said she faxed all the refills in. I only need the Al-Prazzzzz-OH!-Lam. I had to wait another 15-20 in for it to e filled, but I put the time to good use and went to the pet section to get TWO of those 'petite' bacon flavored Bully Bones and a little fuzzy squeaking bear toy. Tinker always seems to know when I get something for her, sits right beside my hip and watches me cut all the packaging away, all the while wagging her tail. Now she has already gone to work on the new bone, with, as JFK used to say, "with VIGAH".

I took 1/2 tab of the Xanax when I got out to my car at 4 PM , and then came home and took the other half at 4:20 PM. I hope the shakiness secedes and the nausea disappears. I will probably take another half at an early bedtime, 10-ish. It will be an pure joy to sink into sleep this evening! And if I doze off a little before then, I sha'nt fight it! My shoulders are starting to come down from where they've been up by my ears, so the tension is releasing. It's a good thing I didn't have to wait any longer. I was like, "please don't make me have to go through another night like the past two!" I would've been more ill than those whatchacallits.... murder hornets!

So I'm going to get off the laptop and peruse a couple of the magazines that FINALLY got forwarded from N.C., like 9 of them, dating back to July 10th! It's about time! Maybe if I ccreeeep-cuperate sufficiently I might call down to Orange Park tax office for an appt and become a new resident and get that elusive FLA Driver's License, because the last piece of documentation got forwarded here, dated July 13th! Jeeze I might even catch up with myself one of these days and take a day or two before I started getting all the papers ready for applying for some senior apartment somewhere. I'm sure they will want tax info, but I haven't filed anything for.... what? Ten or Eleven years? And we medi-don't-carer's no longer get paper statements, so lucky me I get to battle the big bad internet again YIPPEE! Sometimes I think having to grow up into a responsible adult pretty much SUCKS! And reality can be highly overrated.

Okay, I think I can eat something now because the gingerale I have been sipping isn't threatening to rain on my parade anymore.("It's A Nice State Of Affairs You've Got Us Into, Oliver!")

Good evening.

Joe, glad to hear the cat is settling in.

Stars, I'm benzo dependent for sleeping. It is what it is. Here in Florida you have to see your doctors every three months to get it renewed, so if you're not used to that, make sure you have that arranged.

I had a decent day at work and they left us fully staffed without floating anyone. Got to help the nurses and do patient rounding.