Valentines Cards

[Audreyfay]

Love is in the air. My hubby already gave me my valentines day card with a certificate for a massage. :)

I thought this was funny and can't resist sharing. I don't think I'll use it, but wish I could. So, I'll share with you!

These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the MOST romantic first line... but the LEAST romantic second line. I'd love to see a Valentine card with one of these cuties.......

1. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss

But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

2. Thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother.

3. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

4. Of loving beauty you float with grace

If only you could hide your face.

5. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not.

6. I want to feel your sweet embrace

But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

7. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

8. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you screwed up my life.

9. I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

10. My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way.

11. My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe "go to hell"

12. What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.

[live4today, RN]

Originally posted by Audreyfay

3............the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

8. My darling........... Marrying you screwed up my life.

9. I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

11. My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe "go to hell"........

Unfortunately, there won't be any Valentine's Card from my soon to be EX-husband since we are FINALLY going to go through that divorce that's been hanging in the wings for many years now. I'm already looking forward to moving on, and dating again because once that decision was made, I felt like I'd dropped 300 pounds at once. Now that's what I call a reallllllllllll diet! And...my youngest daughter told me to make sure I "didn't gain it back, either". :chuckle Now...if I could just lose about 46 MORE pounds, I'd be looking damn good for myself and the realllllllll man waiting somewhere in this world for me. One who will remain faithful, true, be honest, be passionate, more loving, and desire no other woman but me. I still want to believe that man exist somewhere. God couldn't have possibly screwed them all up! :chuckle

Sooooooooooo...........I'm soon "free again at last"! His cheating days with me are over..........HALLELUJAH!!!

[caffine addict]

Boy are those funny !!!!!

I wish I knew someone who I could give them to

:roll :roll :roll :roll