Tuesday October 11 2022

Good morning!

Joe, recognizing burnout is the first step to dealing with it.

Ado, sorry you're going through those stressors.  We're in a "medium" transmission area and masks are optional at work I didn't wear one the last two days I worked.

J22, what an odd tradition of going to Costco on Canadian Thanksgiving.  But we have our Black Friday.  They are saying there will be some good deals this year because of the economy.

I also noticed that while traveling virtually no one was wearing a mask.  Maybe a couple of people.  I actually forgot to bring masks.   

My mother was having a good day and I was able to sit with her for a good while before I left yesterday.  My sister thinks metoprolol caused an exacerbation of her anxiety.  And it's a good theory since going off it seems to have helped her mentation.  

There was an awkward moment when my sister gave my brother a life insurance policy my parents took out on in 1982 that he can have or cash out. My sister has one two.  My sister says "you already have yours".  But no, this is the first I heard of it and dad admitted he took them out on the two of them but not me "because I was going through some stuff" and he made an excuse to leave the room.  My sister said they weren't worth that much money anyway.  I told my sister it might have been that I'd gone to rehab and had depression (but I think I did this in 1982 and not 1984) and it was denied, or I was the black-sheep at the time for being gay.  Either way no need to dig up trash in the garbage heap or building up a bridge that's been burned.  

My flight home was delayed about 15 minutes, then we sat in the runway in Atlanta awaiting a gate that another plane was at, and they changed the gate and I had to take a train to another part of the huge Atlanta Airport and missed my connection by minutes.  I was able to get on standby a full flight home a couple of hours later.  The last flight of the day.  I got lost in the Tampa Airport looking for long parking and when I finally found the long-term parking wandered around looking for my car because I must have come out a different entrance than I went in.  Fell asleep exhausted at 2AM. My dog sitter said he didn't have to work until noon and was up let me pick up the dogs to avoid a long trip in rush hour tomorrow.  He's the best.  I fed them when I got them home to keep them from waking me up too early and it worked.  They are still asleep.

The last three trips I took had issues.  Bleh.

Will try to do some housework and meal prep.  Working tomorrow.  

Correction to the above my rehab was in 1984 and the policy written for my siblings is dated 1982 so that wasn't it.  But like I said, no need digging up bones.

Ado q45 minutes for toileting is not realistic.  Does he actually do this for her? Fortunately or unfortunately my mother is continent.  Unfortunately because she gets up and forgets she can't walk and loses her balance.  She had a near fall we saw on her granny cam in the middle of the night when people were asleep.

On a positive note my hotel was real nice and my experience with Alamo rental car was stellar.  So easy to check in and out.

I was joking about Canadian shopping at Costco on holidays, sort of. Our “neighbors to the North” come down to get dairy products and gasoline because it is so much cheaper. Locals know to avoid Costco and Trader Joe’s on Canadian holidays due to crowds. 
We left this morning to drive to Death Valley. It’s going pretty well. I pre booked places to stop each night so that we are only driving about 6 hours each day. It’s sunny and warm. Tough to post from my phone. 

Hey, hi, hello----

So I went to the pharmacy for hubby's stuff; they didn't have a current prescription for his test strips, so I came home without. Then he had to call the doctor's office to get them to send over a script for the test strips. I think he has enough strips for today/tomorrow. He needs to start keeping better track of himself. Haha, like that'll happen. 

His phone is also on the blink. When I call, it goes straight to voicemail, and doesn't indicate there was a voicemail left, nor does it indicate when I sent him a text message. Now he is taking the phone over to his go-to guy at Verizon to get it straightened out, 'cause the guy said , "It's a little complicated." I hope to high heavens he drives safely; he is slightly snockered. You can't convince him NOT to drive: "I'm fine." Yeah that's what they all say.

He had two days of being relatively sober...no slurring, he was alert and not dragging himself around ever-so carefully. I asked him if he'd let up on the drinking and he said he had. I gave him a big smile and said, "I LIKE IT!" that he was not slurring or staggering.  He went to the ABC store last night (where the other sister-in-law works) The woman there had been talking to SiL before hubby opened the door, I guess, because the lady said she couldn't sell him the peach vodka, and he thought she was kidding, giving him a hard time. She wasn't, she said "I won't sell it to you."  He said he bet it was his SiL who was gossiping with her, and why she wouldn't sell anything to him. He said there are ABC stores all over the place and he'd start going to another one. He is very ticked at SiL. I know he went out this AM to get his booze elsewhere. Sad, because it was so nice when he was not as drunk as he sometimes gets. Oh effing well.

He is supposed to pick up some supper for him and Nannie. I have something here I can eat. Trying to save $$ because it will be another week before we get his SS check, and our checking account is low, as is the debit card we usually use for take-outs. BAH! And for some stupid reason he gets ticked when I tell him that I have something here I can fix and eat. (it's nothing he or Nannie would like).

I am washing + drying Nannie's bed sheets and blankets again. She laid down on top of the bed with her soaking pants, pull-ups and pads and got it all wet. Now she has on clean, dry pull-ups, double pads, and pants, and is sleeping in the recliner. Ppfftt.

I know it probably won't make a heck of a lot of difference, but next time he is sober enough to hold a conversation, I am going to ask him if he is going to go on like this, with no thought of stopping. I don't know where "the bottom" is for him. Apparently he hasn't reached it yet. He has an appt w/ his PCP pretty soon, (maybe next week?) and will have to answer for cancelling that appt w/ the gut doctor, and for not even attempting to get off the booze. 

Bad words-Bad words-and Cussing! I am not going to and CAN'T keep up with both he and his mom's care. He wants to send her to a nursing home, but I keep reminding him that she doesn't have enough $$ for her upkeep at a nursing home and she doesn't qualify for Medicaid. And with him slowly killing himself, doesn't realize or doesn't want to realize that one of these days his internal organs are going to be more of a problem than he ever dreamed of. Better to detox and get on the other side of things ASAP. Huh. Ppfftt.

I don’t want to overstep here, but NoStars, I think you could benefit from some legal/financial counseling. Perhaps your local senior center or your provider’s office could help find some resources for you.