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Discussion

Surrogacy Policy

We have a surrogate mother giving birth to twins due next month- the parents of the baby will be present to care for the babies, sign consents, etc. What are others policy on the ID bands on the babies? Do we band them with the birth mother or band the babies and the intended parents? We haven't had this situation before and are struggling.

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The hospitals where I've worked regarded any baby as the responsibility of the birth mother until discharge, meaning that the birth mother was banded (along with a second person of her choice), and only the birth mother could give consent, since in unmarried situations, paternity had yet to be established. The babies were discharged to the birth mother, unless she signed her rights away in the hospital, in which case an agency or attorney was named as "guardian". The biological father/adoptive parents were welcome in the unit, as any other guests would be, but had no legal "standing" in terms of decision making for the baby.

Once mom and baby were DC'd, it was up to them and their attorneys to decide how to arrange for change of custody. Usually this took place at home or in an attorney's office. One group chose to "hand over" the baby in the parking lot.

We also band birth mom, then adoptive mom/dad, if birth mom wishes. However, we like to do discharge teaching with whoever is going to actually be taking care of the baby for safety (and practical) purposes. The way around this is to have birth mom and adoptive mom in the room with teaching, that way, if something happens (ie, birth mom doesn't give up custody for some reason), all the bases are covered. The only exception to this is a adoption agency baby, if mom doesn't want to see/care for baby during the hospital stay we work directly through the agency.

Wouldn't it be different with a surrogate...I mean they are not adopting the baby...it is their baby, just had someone else carry it. Well in some situations it may be the "birth mothers" egg. Hmmmm this is interesting.

Wouldn't it be different with a surrogate...I mean they are not adopting the baby...it is their baby, just had someone else carry it. Well in some situations it may be the "birth mothers" egg. Hmmmm this is interesting.

Most surrogacy contracts involve an adoption clause, as the birth mother is legally recognized as the mother of the infant(s). It gets quite complicated, as the surrogate may or may not be the genetic mother (egg donor), the adoptive mother may or may not be the genetic mother, and the adoptive father may or may not be genetic father (sperm donor).

When did it all get so complicated?

  • Experts

Even with all the rigamarole, our policy is just to band mom who has birthed the babe and someone else of her choice (usu one of the adoptive parents). Unless she signs rights away in the hospital as someone else says. My experience has been that 'birth mom' usually allows adoptive parents to take over from minute 1, even though she still technically has rights. This might be different in other places, but that's how it works where I am.

  • Author

In this case the intended parents are the genetic mother and genetic father.

  • Experts

Even if that's the case where I am, the woman who has given birth gets one of the bands, whether she is the genetic mom or not.

I personally have no problem with her forfeiting her band to give one to each genetic parent, but she would have to choose that and once she does, it's irrevocable i.e. we don't reband.

Most surrogacy contracts involve an adoption clause, as the birth mother is legally recognized as the mother of the infant(s). It gets quite complicated, as the surrogate may or may not be the genetic mother (egg donor), the adoptive mother may or may not be the genetic mother, and the adoptive father may or may not be genetic father (sperm donor).

When did it all get so complicated?

Thanks for that info...it is very interesting and very complicated!!

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