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Discussion

Struggling GN

I've been at my job for several weeks and am worried that I am going to get fired. Orientation was not going well and the preceptor seemed burnt out and impatient. Several weeks passed by and I finally asked her if I should get a new preceptor to "help" her (she just finished NP school and was studying for her boards plus I'm her fourth orientee in a row with no break). There were other issues that were going on in her life and I felt I was a distraction when all she wanted to do was "come to work and just do her job." Those were her words. When I approached her she became highly offended and told me that she wanted to train me and to not take things personal. I could tell she was burnt out, however, I felt she was a good nurse that I could learn from. So I stayed with her but the problems persisted. I eventually asked for a new preceptor. I kept her abreast of everything and she even went to the manager to tell her how she couldn't train me. Naively, I thought everything was cool.

I started with a new preceptor and she is great. I am progressing well, however, I am really behind the curve and may not be ready to be off orientation when the time comes. I go home and study. My new preceptor is getting to know me and is working with me. However, I noticed that my old preceptor and her clique would give me a hard time or flat out ignore me. If I have a question I get this look from them of annoyance or they are short with their response. Therefore I don't ask much if they are around and look up things as much as possible or talk with the doctors (if my preceptor is not immediately available). The doctors are extremely approachable and are more than willing to share their knowledge.

I try not to let it affect me and keep pushing forward. However, there were several instances where I asked for help and it was reported to the manager that I am struggling with prioritization or time management. Some scenarios were embellished and I felt blindsided when sitting in front of the manager about these incidences. The nurses never spoke to me about any issues or seeing that I am in training, took the opportunity to teach me something. If this was coming from my preceptor than I would understand (which prioritization and time management are my issues). Now I have weekly meetings because they are concerned on how behind I am.

I want to succeed, however, I feel really uncomfortable. I am scared to ask for help because I fear more negative things will be said. I already feel the chitter chatter behind my back and the looks as I walk by. I'm confused and don't know what to do. Time management and prioritization are extremely important and I am working on both diligently. However, I feel like I am being sabotaged. Why are other nurses, other than my preceptor, looking in on what I am doing? And if I am doing something concerning, why won't they stop me or talk to me about it? Why go directly to the manager?

I feel like I can't trust anyone. The manager was a staff nurse that worked with a lot of the nurses on the floor, including my old preceptor and her clique. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or taking things entirely too personal. I feel really uncomfortable when I come to work but really enjoy what I do. My current preceptor is good but I don't trust her neither and don't want to cause problems on the unit.

Am I making sense? lol Maybe I just needed to vent. This is my 1st job and I'm clueless on how orientation works or the dynamics of the unit. I am learning now, however, a little too late I believe.

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    Your situation sounds not very pleasant.

    I guess when you switched form the first preceptor to the second one the first one and her group did not take it that well.

    Weekly meetings are usually a sign that there is something seriously not ok.

    Apparently your coworkers are not very friendly towards you and they leave you hanging out to dry.

    It is always hard to say something useful because there is probably so much more that is not known about the whole situation. How is the culture on that floor? How are you objectively doing? Are you mastering the tasks or are you not mastering them by far? How are your prioritization skills?

    Once things are driven into the ditch it is hard to recover all around. I think you broke an unwritten law on that floor and that is why other nurses will not work with you and run to the manager.

    If I was you I would start to look around for a different job /program but do not tell anybody. Look for something less acute perhaps.

    Also, you are right in that you can not trust anybody. That is how it is generally speaking. Do not talk bad about anybody, try hard to develop your skills. Make careful small talk during breaks.

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    • Author

    The culture is very cliquish. I made the mistake of asking for a new preceptor. I didn't realize the mistake I made until it was too late. I am way behind the learning curve and my new preceptor is trying to work with me. The weekly meetings are not good. I am not able to catch up from the time I lost. I feel as tho, if I started with my second preceptor I would have been further along. However, this is a learning lesson and I will count my losses. I am currently looking for new employment. I'm also going to ask if they can transfer me to another unit. The last thing I want to do is burn any bridges.

    I still remain cordial and friendly to everyone. I know my days are numbered and I am just concerned. Thanks for you reply!

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    Old preceptor is a control freak and unhappy that you asked for a new one.

    The fact is.. management agreed that the preceptor/orientee relationship was not working, and assigned you to a new preceptor. If you are behind the curve, it is due to an inadequate orientation.

    You should have a weekly orientation plan laid out.. with a weekly progress report.

    The dynamics are out of your control, not quite to the point of sabotage. You need to trust someone on the unit for insight. Who could that be?

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    • Author

    Thank you for the insight Been There. Honestly, I don't know who to trust. We do have weekly progress reports now along with weekly meetings that started at week 9. Unfortunately, I don't believe I am competent enough to be on my own, even if I am able to pass orientation at 12 weeks (which I have been extended 2 weeks after this week, which is week 11). I feel I am too far behind and still need some basic knowledge. I believe taking a step back and going to a lesser acute floor will be best for all involved, especially the patients! As much as I want to fight it, I must be true with myself. Could I have been ready if I had proper training from week 1? Possibly. However, that opportunity is gone and I must face the facts as they present now.

    My confidence is a little shaky right now, however, I know I can be a great critical care nurse. However, this is just not my time to do so. I spoke with my manager about the situation and we are looking to transfer units.

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    • Author

    Just a little update... I failed orientation and I was transferred to a medical surgical floor. It was a "hard pill to swallow" however I feel it was for the best. I am still on orientation on the new unit however the environment (for obvious reasons and not so obvious) is so much more different and better.

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    Wonderful news. Thanks for updating us.

    It sounds like you're in a much better place now.

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