Stressing about school drama

Hi,

This post is a little bit of a vent, but I am looking for advice on whether I should be worried about future backstabbing, etc. I was recently dropped by a preceptor for a Masters program because I had to come in late to clinical. We find our own clinical instructors and they sign a contract with the college. She decided to terminate the agreement and send out a blast email to many people saying the practicum was terminated. My instructors were worried about the reputation of the college, and after initually saying they would help me find a new instructor, decided after seeing the emails, that I needed to have a meeting. In the meeting they said they were just discussing what had happened, and didn't say anything about a "decision" until the end. They then told me that they were sending this to a higher up person to see if I will be able to continue the class. I had asked them many times before the meeting if I would be able to continue the class, and they were silent on the issue, so I had a feeling, but they were never straight with me about it. After a lot of probing, I found out that they had already sent me a letter saying that the class was terminated. I was distraught, and sent out emails asking instructors to help me continue with the class. I also reached out to the higher up, to see if I could just be given a chance to try and complete the course with a new clinical instructor. After a lot of phone calls, emails, and convincing, I was allowed to continue with the class.

This is the thing: The program director, whom I believe was behind the pressure to keep me from continuing in the class set a list of rules for me. These are extra things I have to do that other students don't, and she clearly stated over and over that just because I can take the class doesn't mean I will pass. This seemed like an ominous message.

This program director also stated over and over that I shouldn't have reached out to anyone, that if I was a Masters prepared nurse, and a real professional, then I would accept the consequences of my actions. She stated many times that reaching out was unprofessional and that it is a sign of poor decision making. She also told me that persons with this type of decision making cannot be good nurses.

In my opinion, the lack of professionalism was reflected in them not being honest with me about the meaning of the meeting. The clinical instructor also lacked professionalism for dumping me for being late. I had a feeling it was because she had a vacation coming up, and she had to find someone to take her place for an entire month. Ultimately it was my fault for not being able to be there on time.

I've reached out to a new clinical instructor, who was at first excited to work with me, that has not had any further communication with me after the program director asked for her contact information. I believe that they may be trying to sabotage me. I don't know if this is paranoia after feeling victimized for not being able to continue the class initially, and having my class put on hold for weeks pending the "decision." They haven't been honest with me about anything so far, and have been deciding things without me there, all while reassuring me that nothing is happening, while precious time passed that I could have been finding a new preceptor.

I don't know what else to do but keep trying to find someone and forwarding the information to them, and try to complete the class. Though I have a feeling that I will not pass this class, no matter how hard I try.