So confused please help!

My darling friend (((((hugs))))) to you. I don't care what you did. You are I'll and very fragile right now. And 3 kids too. In order to really be present for them you need to deal with all of this. Addiction will kill you. Your life as you know it is falling apart so that something better can be rebuilt within you.Hang on. Put one foot in front of the other. I was homeless too. It took me many months to get a job on probation. Then I got a better one and then another. I am two months away from completing a two year probation. I just took a vacation in Hawaii. I have a little car again and an apartment. Get help for you and your children. Take care of yourself. Do exactly what the state board asks you to do. I was so broke that spending thousands on a lawyer was out of the question. You can do it! I will be praying for you. Blessings...Paid

Thank you for your kind words. I have seen several of your posts and I certainly don't know your whole story but you are an inspiration! Yes a lawyer is definitely out of the question for me as well. I have complied with the program so far and am waiting to meet with the addiction specialist to get my recommendations for the program. It might sound odd but if I am sent to inpatient rehab I am actually looking forward to it in a way. That's time for me to focus on just me getting better. I am just so nervous about getting a job on probation. I know I should worry about that when the time comes and maybe then I will look for advice on getting hired.

Thank you again for your response. It meant so much to read just now from someone who has been through all of this and came out as great as you have!

I am so, so sorry.......what a horrible spot you are in. I have experience, loving addicts and dealing with them for years in my family. While it looks as if the world is ending, and in some ways, it is. You are at a precipice. Change is now inevitable. But it's up to you. Cooperate fully with what the BON stipulates, but definitely get help for yourself. Find an NA (narcotics anonymous) meeting (or AA--alcoholics anonymous) as soon as you can. You will see people there who have also hit a hellish rock bottom in their lives and have rebuilt and gotten better for it.

If you have family or friends that can help, do call on them. The priority is to take care of you and your kids' needs. Do what it takes.

One step at a time; do the next right thing by the hour, even minute.

You may be amazed that in just a few weeks, months, years, even, your life will look SO different and things will work out in surprising ways, IF you work the recovery program and stay honest.

My heart goes out to you. Truly. Keep us posted on how you are.

I will keep you posted. Some days are good and I see the positive change coming and some days I'm scared and overwhelmed. Thank you so much!

One day at a time. I know that is often overstated, but it's appropriate for this time. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, don't use, go to meetings, get your slip signed showing you attended, and do the next right thing.

Amarillys: I'm waiting for my state's program to send me a contract. Main while I have reached out to a nurse support group, my church and AA. Believe me, they help, I no longer cry all day, only part of day, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I use my time engaging in positive activities. You are not alone, there are plenty of people out there that want to help us. Have faith.