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Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
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Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
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There are two kinds of pedestrians - the quick and the dead.
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Life is sexually transmitted.
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An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
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If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said,"Quit while you're ahead?"
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Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
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The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
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Subject: 2 EMOTIONS Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich!
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Get the last word in: Apologize.
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Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they use to?
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Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
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All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
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In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
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Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
box to start a campfire?
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AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: You read about all these Terrorists-- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas,
some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two
days late with a video and those people are all over you. I think we should put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
Have a great day, Allnurses !