Pooch, The fact that the patient is incontinent may prevent an assisted living arrangement. To my knowledge, assisted living residents are suppose to be able to live alone with a minimum of assist, ie: laundry help, food prep, light cleaning, etc. I was employed for 10 yrs as a DON in a long term care facility. You MUST check these facilities out as closely as you would a day care for your child. Remember, if the facility KNOWS you will be in and out often, they will naturally make the extra effort to make sure your family member is taken care of. That's just human nature. Good luck! ABX