STARL

I agree. This thread has ran its course...Thanks for the many suggestions!

At this point, I wouldn't mind starving.

To be honest, I'm so so depressed about the whole situation. I can't believe that after 1 year of nursing I am at risk of losing my license and the possibility of facing criminal charges. I have literally ruined my life.

It's not easy just to quit my current home health job and drop out of school. what I have done is improved my nursing care with my current patient and signed up for my first counseling session.

If you must know, early 20's (yes), still living with parents (yes), new nurse (yes). Just trying to better my life and learn from this.

Just because I don't comment on every single post does not mean that I have not learned from this. And obviously, you are free to comment as you please. It's the redundancy that I feel is not needed. I get it. You think that I should not be a nurse! You think that I am a bad person and unethical! You think that I only think/care about myself! You've said that over and over again. I don't have to comment or prove to you that I've learned a lesson from this. At the end of the day, it only matters on how I apply the things that I have learned from here on out.

Yes. They state that I have the right to be represented by an attorney. However, I search the TANNA website and there does not seem to be any for the state of Fl. Maybe I can try calling on monday.

That I am under investigation and has to submit a written response or schedule an interview.

I asked a simple question about how to go about getting a lawyer and you still continue on about how I am unfit for nursing or just how I am a bad person overall. If you couldn't offer a suggestion to my question, I don't understand why you commented. How do you know that I did not take any of the suggestions offered here to heart? Are you able to read my heart. Boy! am I glad that at the end of the day GOD is the ultimate judge of our transgressions and not humans. You literally keep carrying on ana on about the same thing.

Can I still continue to work as a nurse while under investigation?

Well... I finally got a letter from the BON, I have to respond in 20 days. should I contact a lawyer, I've never had to deal with the judicial system before so I'm not sure where to begin. It's just difficult to go through this while I have 3 more weeks left of school and studying for finals. Life is pretty depressing at the moment...

Yes. More emotional than physical. I'll take your advice and seek counseling. I'm not sure how they will be able to help, but it's worth a try.

Guys! Don't you think that people have the ability to change? Goodness! one would think that I am the WORST nurse in the history of nursing by some of these comments. Anyways, I would like to thank those who offered constructive criticism. I know "Nursing" is what I want to do and I can only get better from here on out.

I already planned on leaving the job.

I am not saying what I have done was a mistake. I understand that what I did was wrong. This is why I created this thread hoping to get some advice to talk to someone about it because I was feeling so terrible. With that said, this was a wake up call. I'm going to try to better myself as a nurse. I don't want to be a "bad nurse" otherwise, I will just leave the profession altogether. I'm going to continue working with the patient that I'm working with now and hopefully obtain another case as I continue to support myself through school. In no way am I minimizing my actions, it was wrong. point.blank. period. I don't want to put others live in jeopardy nor do want to have such actions weighing heavy on my conscious. I'm going to wait on the BON response and hopefully move on from this.

I don't think you understood my comment. I know that fraud is WRONG. Did I know it was fraud at the time? not necessarily. I didn't think it was on the level that it was, such as involving insurance companies and everything else that goes into it. Now that I know what's all involve and seeing the big picture, will I do it again. "NO" I worked too hard to obtain my license and I am not going to lose so easily. Before this I had no complaint with the company, they even gave me a raise literally 3 weeks prior because the DON said I was doing well with the company. When I went in for my meeting, the DON was saying how she thought I was a good nurse and because the company has a "0" tolerance policy on fraud she has to let me go.

So you're saying you never made mistakes at all as a nurse, hmm?

This will be the first time, I will be reported to the board. I am not aware that the BON know about the previous things I've done so, how will I not be able to sit for my RN license? I understand falsification is a crime and for 1 hour and 30 minutes, I do not think my license should be taken away. MY DON at agency, said this might not be a career ender but to take it as a lesson. I won't do it again now that I know what I know now.

Sometimes, I think that this may not be the profession for me because I can't even get through my first year. I love caring for people and helping them get better. I guess I just didn't think nursing would be this strict about EVERYTHING! Literally have to follow rules to the T. and I'm not used to that unfortunately.

LPN-RN programs are only a year. I started this summer in May and I'll be done in May. I have one more semester.

I really want to be the best nurse that I can. I hated to admit it to myself, but I think that I am a bad nurse. I did not go into this profession to act like this and I do not know why. I want to get better, I feel like I can do better. I've done some things that Im not proud of. It was so hard to write this, but I decided to because I need help. I was thinking of looking into insurance nursing where I'm not at the bedside, but you need experience for those jobs and i'm still a new nurse. I don't know how the BON will respond when they do send out the complaint.

I live in the U.S. I am doing an LPN-RN program

Where do begin? I have been an LPN for 1 year in 2 months and unfortunately during this period I have had 5! nursing jobs. yes 5. (1) I started off in a nursing home, just to find my niche I didn't like it but I needed a form of income and I needed some experience in the field. Two months in the DON called me and said, he thinks that its best that he let me go. He didn't give me a specific reason, but during my orientation the nurses that trained me had to evaluate how I was doing, so I assumed that did not do well during orientation. Like I said, I did not like the nursing home, I had 30-32 patients to care for and I just did not feel safe nor happy. (2) My second job was in a pediatric home health, I was working for a family and one of the orders called for me to put cotton ball in the little boy's ears as he had surgery 2 days before. Well, I did put cotton ball in my patient ear but I had soaked and drained it with H.Peroxide. Well, the next day the family called the agency and said I put a wet cotton ball in the boys ears. The order stated for me to cleaned around the boy's ear with a cotton tip and H.peroxide and then placed a cotton ball in his ear. My mistake was I misunderstood what the outgoing nurse was telling me before she left about the patient new orders. My fault. It was a med error and the agency said I cannot work for them unless I complete a med error CEU. I never completed it, so never went back to work for them. Although, 6 months later they were still calling me to come work for them because they need nurses so bad. I didn't the patients they assign me usually live 45-50 minutes away and I just couldn't put myself through that again. (3) My third job was a nursing home again. This lasted a month and a few weeks. I mentioned that I do not like the nursing home. I don't. But my mom work in this particular nursing home and she gave told the DON about me. Well, since my mom has been there for 5 years and a good worker they hired me. Well, I had so much patient work load that I did not do my treatments, although I charted that I did. This led to me having a meeting with the DON and 4 other people in administration. I was so nervous at that meeting that I told myself that I never want to be in such a position again. I felt humiliated, embarrassed, and just incompetent as a nurse. I was first suspended, but then let go. They informed me that they would report me to the BON. well it's been 8 months, have not gotten anything from the BON and I've checked my license online and it says I'm in good standing no complaints. (4) My fourth job was at a pediatric clinic. i did not like it much as I felt I was losing many of my skills. I mostly gave immunizations to babies and worked on the doctor's schedule for the week. I worked there for 4 months but then i had to leave due to the fact that I started an RN program and the schedule would conflict with my work schedule. The manager loved me, got great reviews from them. I still felt bad though due to my recent firing. My self esteem just plummeted and Im still feeling like somethings wrong with me. Anyways, I did not get fired from this job, I left due to school. (5) I am currently working for 2 agencies. one is a pediatric agency and the other is a pediatric and adult agency. Well, yesterday I got fired from the pediatric agency. The reason is I document that I left at my scheduled time when in reality I left 30 minutes early three time. Did I think they would find out? yeah. Did I think it was an issue. I did. I literally cannot figure out any reason as to why I charted that I left at 0700 when in reality I left at 0630. At the other agency I work for, one of the parents always let me leave early and she said I can still write down the time I left as the time I was scheduled. in my head, I started to think it was no longer a big deal so i did it with this agency. I know in nursing school they teach us not to do this, I hate that I'm not abiding by the things that I was taught in school and letting others influence my judgement. I knew it was a big deal and I did it anyway. I'm sure the other nurses that work with the pediatric/adult agency leave early but chart their scheduled time cause the guardian (mom) said its ok. Anyways, got called into the office today and I was let go. It is considered insurance fraud. in total I lied and said I worked 1 hour and 30 minutes. The DON were saying that the insurance company might not think its a big deal they might just say "oh, its only 1 hour and let it go. they do not think that I was trying to be malicious. but they have to report it to the BON. Two of the times I left, the patient had an appointment in the morning so he had to leave at 0530 but I charted that I left at 0600. the other time I left early is when I emailed the agency saying that I can now work 12 hours form 7pm-7am. well it wasn't suppose to start that particular week, but the following cause I have nursing clinical in the morning. Hence I left at 0630 but charted i left at 7. The DON was saying it all depends on how the BON choose to handle it. I do not know what's wrong with me. I've never been fired before until I started nursing. I'm a few months from graduating an RN program and I still cannot get my act together. I want to treat this as a lesson learned. I'm feeling stupid cause I've been fired so many times. I'm still working for the pediatric/adult agency but I am going to chart the correct time that I leave, at the end of the day the I have to protect my license no one else. Does anyone know how long it will take for the BON to contact me? will they make a big deal over 1 hour and 30 minutes? My first year of nursing was rough. I take full responsibility. I am so embarrassed that I created another account to write this although my other account is not even lay real name. I need to remember all the handwork I put in into obtaining my license and not let it go so easily. What's wrong with me? I just do not think that I am learning from my mistakes as a normal human being would.