RNEulogy

I'm super happy your IOP didn't f- you! It's nice to hear not everyone related to these programs are out to punish and berate those of us in this hellish situation... I mean- the whole situation is hard enough already... besides.. kratom is legal. This is going to sound silly, but do you know which labs test for kratom? I took kratom Sunday and had a urinalysis Monday ( today) - not even thinking it would be a big deal since it's a legal herbal supplement. Then my paranoia set in. I started some research and now I'm nervous. My argument to them is going to be that I had no idea it was banned ( truely didnt- but it worked so well... I figured they might not like it being used after the fact ) I never got a list of meds that are banned and my addictionist seemed more concerned with taking away my non narcotic muscle relaxer (since I like to use it to sleep), and some strange CPS situation her daughter for herself into, than going over which items were safe and unsafe to take. -.- anyway- needless to say I wanna kick myself now, but damn it! It felt nice to quit crying for a day... it's also been suggested by some AA folks that I'm suffering from some post acute withdrawal syndrome. I used to drink kava and knew kratom was kind of similar... tell ya what- it works, boy. Lol. Anyway- I'm in Michigan. I'm not in any IOP. Just generic HPRP drug testing. I hate feeling like a criminal over using a legal herbal supplement. My criminal probation hasn't banned it and If they don't want to throw me in jail for it- I'm not sure why the monitoring program would care.. then again, they are *just a little* unreasonable. ( I think they're extremely unreasonable and punitive- I'm being sarcastic)

Well, at least I know my urine sitting out isn't necessary a problem.. I'm assuming yeast infections can cause a problem? I guess it doesn't matter. They were doing a blood test a week for a little while.. I think they finally scaled it down to once a month ( I assume- that's what other people in the program seem to get) and now I only have one urine test a week, or thereabouts. I haven't been drinking any alcohol whatsoever since I started this program.. actually, 25 days before starting- but who's counting? lol. I quit using pot the day I was arrested. So about 4 months prior. Maybe more. No other substances. :/ Ironically, I wanted her to check the drug test right away because I was afraid she'd let it sit too long and it would be inaccurate. She asked me if I was afraid of popping a positive- I said no. Then BOOM! Lol. It sounds like the lab should clear me. I hope they don't **** something up. -.- I tell you what, though- I truly don't believe I was dangerous to practice prior to this program... IN the program- I'm not so sure. I'm so distraught I can't sleep much and I'm more angry and depressed then I e ever been in my entire adult life. If I tell them that, though- im afraid they'll tack time on for a mental health relapse. Anyone else super depressed/ feel like life has gotten way worse since entering their monitoring program? I'm not sure this is worth the misery.

Um- no split specimen... but she said she was going to send it out for confirmation testing. I just had a ua yesterday aside from seeing her. I assume she's just going to use what was in the i cup. That makes me nervous, though.. because it was sitting out during my entire evaluation. I guess she'd likely just test it for suboxone- but Ive heard if it ferments it could cause a positive etg -.- I really have no comfort in knowing these people have say over my career if they can't even drug test properly- but whatever. The psychiatrist is also taking away my tizanidine.. I believe that's what popped the positive. She'll let me have it for a month. I really despise this program more and more the longer I'm a participant. I don't trust these people and I don't buy into the "it's a great program" line everyone is feeding me. I told her I think some participants say that just to get released from the program successfully...you know- they drink the cool-aide. Lol. I'm sure it works for some people.. but not all. She insists my perception will change if I stay just a bit longer. I think they should quit punishing me for something that was completely unrelated to work. Too bad my argument against being in the program falls on deaf ears. I just wish this was all over. I've only been in a month. I hope this experience isn't indicative of how the rest of my time will be. anyway- I rant. I appreciate your response- and congrats on your sobriety!

I haven't taken any suboxone... I'm not even in HPRP for opiate abuse! Im in for alcohol... how on earth did I test positive for suboxone? It was one of those little cup tests during my first visit to my addictionist... I'm on zanaflex, Wellbutrin, buspar, atenolol, birth control and recently took flucanozle, monistat and some other otc yeast infection medication... I haven't even *seen* a suboxone in years... ***** No joke... I didn't touch the stuff! Nor have I taken any opiates... no drug use other than prescribed meds... some otc stuff as well..any thoughts?

Well- they ended up doing a peth test ( blood draw) - likely to see if I wasn't lying about drinking but maybe it was a benchmark..idk... maybe I had a low etg level on my urinalysis and they wanted to rule out drinking...I don't really believe that they wanted it just because I was on probation because I have months worth of clean urine screens from being on bond for months and no record of failed breathalyzers on probation. I put the peth test off until I had been totally abstinent for 25 days... no word so far on it being positive but I have no idea how long it takes for them to get results back...interestingly enough, my first drug test in hprp ended up being a "random" blood draw- peth test again about a week after I took the first one ( 31 days totally abstinent). I saw my P.O. today, actually and he didn't say anything nor has my case manager... so I'm starting to assume I passed it- but I won't be 100% certain until the month is over since I know they should have the results by then. These people don't **** around. I'm going to try my damndest not to screw up but luckily, the peth test is more for moderate to heavy consumption ( one or two drinks shouldn't pop a positive)- if you're in for narc diversion though, I'm not sure what they'll do- hair and nails are the only long term record of opiate use that I can think of. Pot doesn't stick well to hair unless you've smoked somewhat regularly... nails I think everyone is pretty screwed. :/ I hope you don't have any trouble but I tell ya what- I won't screw around in this program- it's no joke. ( they have proven to be more rigorous than the legal system and I hear they're more tedious than drug court... which is pretty difficult)

but seriously- if anyone knows how they manage drug testing results in hprp.. that would be great- I'd love to have some sort of peace of mind and at least *that* is something tangible- also, i pay for the damned things- I should be able to see them! Even the courts let you see your results. (Without being super secretive and anxiety inducing about it)... idk- I hope this gets easier. I guess misdemeanor probation caused me a lot of anxiety initially too.. still does... but not to the extent hprp does..( why- I don't know... jail (courts) or no job (hprp) can't tell which *should* feel worse... I guess both are pissers) lol... oh I hope this is funny someday..

Took your advice- I'm already registered as "not practicing" or whatever- luckily it only seems to ask about felonies related to abuse and Medicare or some such things- nothing about monitoring agreements or misdemeanors. Thanks for the response!

Quick question- does anyone know how to check first source solutions (lab is drugscan) drug test results for HPRP? Or is this one of the states (MI) that doesn't let you see your results unless you fail? Also... anyone get into this kind of mess while having a nursing license in another state? I'm licensed in Florida and my renewal deadline is fast approaching... I was just going to let it lapse until I got all of this HPRP business straightened out.. but I'd really prefer not to let it lapse if I don't have to... :/ thanks for for any input

Well- I've already spend at least $260 on drug tests and I haven't been in the program a week. I did a UA for my evaluation-didn't get any word that I failed anything. They told me I had to do a "special option" test because I was on probation for the court ( did that Friday, 6/1) THEN I "randomly" get selected to do ANOTHER peth test today and ironically- I got randomly selected for a urine screen for court probation on the same day... freaking weird... I truly think the court and HPRP tests were coincidental.. but another blood screen? Jeez. No word that the first one was positive or negative- but I doubt they've even gotten the results back yet as it hasn't even been a week. This is madness! I am also supposed to schedule appointments with my addictionist/ paychiatrist and my therapist within 7 days ( started Monday) and my therapist wont even be in her office until Monday and this psych/ addictionist wont get back with me to make a damned appointment even though she did tell me I had to fax her all of this crap- stressed how important it was I follow deadlines- informed me that my visits to her would initially be anywhere from $ 250-500... subsequent visits to be $160.. and she'd call me back... but no dice. I even hand delivered my monitoring agreement to this lady..: I mean, really. Called her today after 9am- nobody at the front desk was answering phones. I had to leave a message...not to mention my first day in this hellish program- I had to initiate the start! Nobody seemed to know I was supposed to start that day...but oh, that's probably because my intake manager was *also* out of the office until the next day( she neglected to tell me that) and oh- kicker... they only gave me three COC forms... I ordered them Monday ( they take a week to get here apparently) and have already used up what I've got because of two drug tests just for my evaluation and already getting rendomly selected. -.- I realize I'm responsible for everything, but Jesus! I didn't think they'd send me COc forms until I was in their system ( which was mid Monday) they could at least be a little more organized! Also- they haven't been sending my authorizations to the clinic who takes my blood draws so I've had to hound them for THAT. Of course, first source insists they send one- the clinic must not check their fax machine. BAH! It's already driving me mad and it's only officially been 4days since I started... how the hell does anyone make it through this for YEARS? The real kicker- they are making me stay in this program longer than the courts are making me undergo probation and my crime wasn't even work related! My boss and head of nursing for the hospital even wrote letters for me telling them I never had any sort of problems related to drugs or alcohol at work! it's all very demoralizing. I feel like my soul is being crushed. That may sound dramatic- but it's seriously making me feel like they want me to fail... it's mind numbing! Gah... sorry about the rant... this program can suck a million male members, if ya know what I mean. :/ -.-

I just went to an AA meeting and they tried to make me feel better... I spoke to someone who swears up and down that they're only wanting to hair/ nail test me to assure no drug use in the past few months. She says alcohol wouldn't show- she's a practitioner and she deals with drug testing..I'm not sure I believe her as my research indicates that they can test etg for 3 months. Maybe hprp doesn't even test for etg in a hair or nail test... maybe they save the blood testing for that one (Peth)... idk.

I haven't formally violated my probation and they don't do drug tests like hprp- they donirine screens and can do etg urine screens if they want but that's it. ...but if the hprp people decide to inform them of this result obviously it will show I've relapsed and have violated. I have a feeling they'll be *******s about it and do just that. My freedom is important to me. I realize I screwed up by relapsing and I am doing my best to not do so again- but I don't think getting myself in trouble after the fact is necessary. Two probationary terms is proving to be extremely difficult to follow. I may just try getting back into nursing when I've been sober longer because this is enough to make someone relapse. Im suicidal and frankly im not sure if my job is worth this level of anxiety.

Yeah. I'm on probation for a dui.

I haven't signed a monitoring agreement contract yet... they say this is to decide what my agreement will consist of... idk if that makes a difference

I guess I'm nervous because I did drink within the last few months and obviously that means I'd fail a hair or nail test. I'm just afraid they'll report it to my probation officer and I'll go to jail. I haven't drank in a while and have been trying not to but this just seems so harsh. I'm not sure what to do.

I just did my hprp evaluation and they told me today I have to do a special option for my evaluation even though they had me do a urine screen. I asked if everything was okay and my hprp intake manager said everything was fine but now they make all people on probation do a special testing option that is hair blood or nail just because they're on probation? I'm a little confused ... she didn't say I failed anything on my urine screen but I'm not sure why they're having me do this then...anyone else have to do a special option for their evaluation just because they're on probation?