meloo1969

I haven't heard a word from the investigator so I'm thinking maybe they just dropped it? I'm still waiting on the BON for their disciplinary action. how are things going for you?

still waiting to hear back from the investigator.....hopefully the longer it takes , the better the news? I'm having crazy thoughts that every time the dogs bark it may be the police coming to arrest me! the board is doing an investigation with the hospital now so just waiting for that. thx for asking !

no not working and the special investigator was from the local police dept

what happened with your situation? did they prosecute you or just drop the charges? the investigator mentioned the hospital's "cost of the medications". will this be forever on my record as well? I've had more than a couple nurse friends who have been in this situation but were never reported to the police!??

OMG, I just received a call from a special agent investigating my case! apparently the hospital reported me! I told him to contact my lawyer. I'm so scared!! has this happened to anyone else???

thank you! I will keep you posted. I'm going to get started with some online cadeuceous classes...if anyone knows a good one let me know ;-)

yes, it will always be shown on my license. Because I was turned into the BON, it will be on that site and nationwide data base as well. I am still waiting to hear the discipline....probably three years monitoring and all that goes along with that I'm assuming.

that is nice to have the availability of outside monitoring in other states. I have a friend in Minnesota who does monitoring through an independent program. there is no such thing here in my state. the only monitoring program for nurses in through the BON. and the complaint is already filed in the system and will forever be a part of my record unfortunately. All states are different, but the one I live in happens to have a punitive BON and no other options.

good point, and yes, the serenity prayer! need to go meditate on that right now! thank u ♥

wow, so well said ! thank you for taking the time and effort to not only respond, but thoughtfully and with great wisdom! What great advice and so nice to hear it from those who have been in similar circumstances. I am now feeling like I do want to go through with this process. In my mind it would have been an easy way out just to simply give up my license, but the bigger picture has me and my recovery in it, not just my nursing license. I have dealt with addiction issues for many years but have always been a "very functioning addict" and high achiever and have always taken the best care of my patients possible....have never slighted my patients ever. So, in my head, that was justification. But I am tired of waking up in the night with panic attacks because of the guilt and shame. I'm tired of hiding. I want to get better and I'm tired of the roller coaster of drugs and alcohol to numb my emotions. i've been clean for almost three weeks now and feeling better despite the anxiety of what I am facing. My husband is aware of it all and has been a great source of strength and support, altho I must admit he was probably an enabler. my biggest fear still is having my name come out on the BON website as this is a small town, and after 20 years of nursing and working in two hospitals, I know most of the nurses and much of the community knows me as well. i worry about this incident defining me and my 20 years of being a great nurse. Just like Tom Brady now is known for deflate gate , despite being an amazing quarter back. I have been doing meditation and reading scripture and doing a lot of praying which helps , but still the fear is overwhelming at times. and like you said , SORORSKS, it is very tough not to allow the emotions and fear to take over! I have been proactive, but to the point of obsession...because that is what I do (part of my addictive personality I assume). My husband keeps telling me to take a break from it all and do some other things. I have to look to the future and believe that this will not define me and I will get through it a better person. I do believe God has a bigger plan and this was to be. thank you again for your thoughtful responses! ♥

I was also turned into the DEA....do they always do this/???

ok, good to know, thank you for your response! any advice on whether to retain an attorney? if I retain an attorney does that mean I am fighting their accusation? i do not want a hearing and I do not want to spend tons of money on this!

one other question for anyone who may know....If I hire an attorney, does that automatically mean to the BON that I am "fighting the accusations" or can I still cooperate and agree to their terms but have an attorney represent me in this?

wow , I thought 3 years was the maximum?! five years seems like quite an awful sentence! this is my first offense so hoping not more than three years? we have tickets to go to Hawaii in mid January.....I hope this process doesn't affect that because we've spent a lot of money to go on this vacation! thank you all for your great advice, so appreciated!!

the only monitoring program where I live is through the BON, so there will always be the disciplinary action on it. they have suspended my license for now

so were you reported to the BON or if you do TPAN does that replace disciplinary board? I'm trying to decide if I just want to relinquish my license or do monitoring. I don't know if I want to be stuck in that monitoring program for three years, esp when we typically go on vacation 6 times a year. I've read about so many nightmarish senarios in the monitoring program and some who just decide to give it up. thank you and congrats on 2 years!

thank you so much for great advice and support! you're right, at first I wanted to be angry at the hospital and everybody but myself . but now I'm trying to practice humility and admit to my mistakes. and yes, I do realize that I am powerless and cannot control many things, not just my addiction! so much shame and embarrassment to have it all put out there for the community to see, but there's worse things I guess. on the StateBON they even attached copies of all the pharmacy records of the drugs I took! I've never seen them do that?! is anyone in the monitoring program and how how difficult will it be to go on vacation as my husband has 7 weeks a year that we take? and does anyone have advice about whether I should do a hearing or just sign their stipulations?

thank you all for your concern and advice. they did terminate me and reporting to BON. will they automatically do an investigation or can I just surrender my license without it going further?

thank you all for the time you have taken to reply

it did show up even after three days?! what happened to you and your license?

they sent it to a lab that does check for tramadol but still didn't show up as it had ben three days

thank you all for your advice and understanding. I'm still waiting for result of my urine drug screen. I'm a nervous wreck in the meantime! All my coworkers and Dr's are angry hearing about my firing and threatening to write letters to the board, etc. that only makes it worse because when the truth comes out , they will be so shocked and disappointed. I'm not sure whether to stick with my first story, saying I just forgot to get an order and gave them to the patients, or to admit to taking them. It's been such a tough year with my daughter having an undiagnosed sickness and my husband having heart problems, but of course none of that is taken into consideration. I just know a little about how the BON works and what they've done to friends of mine who have been reported. I too have just thought about giving up my license as I am so drained from nursing and so over it, but my husband says he thinks I'll miss it. But like you said "whotame", I have to be ok with myself and learn not to drink or take drugs to relive my stress and depression and know that God loves me and therefore I should love myself. Just wondering if I should get an attorney or wait? thank you all!

[TABLE=width: 100%] [TR] [TD=class: postfoot, bgcolor: #5A55A1, colspan: 2, align: left][TABLE=width: 100%] [TR] [/TR] [TR] [TD=class: post2, width: 100%, bgcolor: #F4EBE7]I have been a nurse for 20 years and due to much stress at home and more stress working in the Emergency dept, I started taking tramadol for the last year from work. the pharmacy reported me . I did a UA which I am waiting to hear back on. I hadn't taken tramadol for three days so not sure if it will even show on my UA, but they have pharmacy records showing that I signed out tramadol on many occasions without an order. I told them I had given them all to patients and just forgot to get the order, but there's a pattern of this, about 2 to 4 a week for about six months or more. is there any chance I will be able to talk them into NOT reporting me to the board of nursing? I don't even mind getting fired or not being a nurse any longer, but I just don't want to go out with an ugly reputation, after 20 years of being a great nurse. I live in a small community and know many people here. Everybody will be shocked if this comes out. I am so scared! [/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=class: postfoot, colspan: 2, align: left][TABLE=width: 100%] [TR] [TD] [/TD] [TD=align: left][/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] [/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] [/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE]