Ebourne1

My patient standing at the end of the bed urinating on the floor. On purpose.

My Ah, ha” Moment I've had several ah, ha” moments since I became a nurse. The one that is the most memorable to me is the first time I recognized that the patient is more than just a procedure. I had been an OR nurse for about a month. I had looked the patient up in the electronic record, written down all their pertinent information and read the anesthesia report. I knew the patient's weight, allergies and the procedure being performed. I was very excited to be seeing a new procedure. But, in all reality, I had no idea who the patient was or what she was going through at that moment. I was so excited that I was learning new things, that I didn't think about the reason she was there. My preceptor and I entered the patient's room and introduced ourselves. She had a large family and the room was a little crazy. We talked to all the family and questioned the patient. When it was time to leave, the family asked if we would like to join them in prayer. We agreed and I listened as the patient's daughter led the prayer. It was incredibly uplifting and I smiled as we wheeled the patient into the OR. We positioned her and made sure she was safe for the procedure. Cords and tubes were waiting to be plugged in. The patient was incredibly cheerful the entire time and even had us laughing a few times. I thought, She's so funny and upbeat.” Then the surgeon came in. The surgeon nodded hello to us, then went straight to the patient. He must have said something funny because the patient laughed again. A big belly laugh that resonated throughout the room. As the CRNA was putting the patient under, the surgeon leaned over and spoke to her softly. The surgeon stroked her cheek and assured her that she was in good hands. Eventually, the patient drifted off and we prepped and connected and everything that we do normally. And then, something happened. I again looked at the patient's chart do the time out. I read the patient's consent and it finally hit me. This loud, funny woman who seemed so full of life was having a double mastectomy. She had stage 3 breast cancer. The whole time she had been laughing, she had to have been so terrified about what would happen next. She showed no fear to us, but I realized that it was for our benefit. At that moment, I stepped back. I reviewed the events that led to this moment. I thought of holding hands with the patient's family as they prayed. I thought about the fact that this woman, scared and alone on that table, is actually a person. She was not a name on the chart or a diagnosis or a procedure. She was a real life person coming in to our facility at probably one of the scariest moment of her life. And she was smiling. From that moment on, I looked at the charts differently. When I check the patient's history, I look a little closer. I wonder, what led this person to us? Are we trying to fix something that ails them? Or are we caring for a person who is desperate to live. Someone that will opt to undergo surgery, even though it might not work, simply for the chance to live a little more. To spend time with their families. To pray. To do the things that they thought they would have time for, but may never be able to do. So, looking back, I see that my error was not a technical one. I didn't open something only to have it bounce off the table. I didn't try to start a foley, only to contaminate my sterile gloves before I even started insertion. I didn't mess up a prep. I have done all those things, but none of them were as bad as this. My mistake was that I didn't see the patient as human. I saw them as a scheduled procedure, as a tool to further my education, and as a chance to see something new. Now I see something different. I see the person who's gruff with the staff who may be having a biopsy to see if that lump is cancerous. I see the person who's demanding more pain medication not as someone seeking drugs, but as a person who can barely walk on their arthritic knees. They come to us in their weakest moments. It is up to us to see them as they should be seen. As a person. As a human being.