I hope you feel better! You are so far from a loser... I hope my story helps... I went to school for respiratory in 2008 I was married then with a 1 year old. He abandoned us when I was beginning my 2nd year of the program. It was devastating I can relate to the blow to my self esteem. We were married for 5 years since we were young and I was thinking forever. I had to keep pushing everyday I looked at my son. He didn't deserve his mother giving up for some punk that wouldn't man up and do what needed to be done. I'd just lost my job due to tardies and them not wanting to adjust my schedule for Clinicals and my class schedule. Not to mention I was 500 miles from my parents and I did not want to return home with nothing after all my hard work! I used my financial aid to pay my rent through the end of my lease. I was so broke I could not afford to divorce him! I couldn't afford food, daycare, gas, my phone bill, I had to call my parents for help and they delivered I was 26. I slept on my best friends couch rent free with my son. Received daycare assistance program and food stamps and medical for him until my ex was forced to provide insurance. I eventually sent him home to my mom my last three months of school. I came home after graduation and studied 20 hours a day for 8 days and passed my boards and received my first job immediately after... Here comes my "husband" (used lightly) I miss you, I want you... I was disgusted my first check I continued to stay with my mom and divorced him!! Now here I am 7 years later, an 8 year old son and 3 yr old daughter, married to a supportive, wonderful man. Just accepted to nursing school starting Jan 4!!! Which has always been my passion. I spent the last year working PRN, taking my prereqs. I don't qualify for aid so I pay all tuition out of pocket and just to make sure we are not struggling we are moving in with my mother, help her with small remodel projects to her home and save as much as we can to purchase another home after I graduate. And she will in turn help with our kids while I attend school! I am 33 now. Do not feel embarrassed at all. You'll be surprised when you open up what people are actually enduring and not mentioning as well. I want to be an RN so bad I can taste it!!! So I am making all provisions to achieve my dream. You've made it this far, have an awesome background, despite all adversity! And you will not stop here. You got this. Just keep looking at the light at the end of the tunnel!! And Don't let your ex get you down, (I know way easier said than done) and I honestly wouldn't even give her another chance. She wouldn't last in marriage if she can only stick with you for one or two bad things and then she's fed up. Good luck and I'll be checking for updates [emoji6]