jherd

Well maybe I was a little lazy and used a basic phase like smart me off, because it just came to mind, but what really happened is that she insulted me in various ways with her words and with her tone. For all the people that have dwelled on the fact that I'm 40 and she's 26 or that I'm a man and she's a woman, I only put those elements in the story to paint the full picture and give all the dynamics. I certainly don't look down on women or those younger than me. I have been married to the same woman for 20 years and I have an 11 year old daughter that I have raised to be as strong as any man. However, I will give you an update. I came to work last week and my unit supervisor basically sat with me through reports and watched me work. She wasn't mean, she was very matter of fact. Luckily I had just made a comprehensive list of every task that I am responsible for during the day. So if I got lost in a task, I could pull my list out, refocus and get back on track. I had two patients with 5 hourly checks /assessments that were required. I set my watch to countdown and alarm every 50 mins. when my alarm rang, I knew I had 10 mins to finish whatever I was doing and begin my hourly tasks. I made sure that I paid attention to everything I did and that I documented accurately and completely. I stayed my patients rooms the entire 12 hour shift and I was able to stay exactly on time and on task with everything for the entire shift. I made sure my patients were clean and their rooms were impeccably clean with everything put away or disposed of after use. I have been working like this for 3 days. I don't have problem with it. As far as the woman that I had the argument with we have said hello to each other a few times and that is about it. I make sure that I try to use a friendly tone of voice with her. I don't know what's going to happen, but I am just trying to hold up my end of the work relationship as a good employee and give excellent care to my patients. I am going to try and work at least a year in critical care and then maybe look to work somewhere else, but I have always heard that all nursing is stressful and demanding. Does anybody have any ideas about a type of nursing that is not such a pressure cooker? Thanks to everyone that responded

Well thank you for such a well thought out response to me. If I do get fired, I have a military pension so I won't lose our home or anything. I hate this happened, because honestly I have been 100% nice and polite all co-workers, patients and their families and I have a growing reputation as having a bad attitude. Even worse, I have heard that she has spreading around that I am incapable and an idiot who thinks he knows everything. And I certainly don't think I know everything or act like I do. I was in the military for decades and often have kind of matter of fact way of working. And when I am taught a policy or "correct" way of doing something, I write it down and try and memorize it. And, I try and do whatever task same way in the clinical setting. I was thinking about maybe trying to get some education in Case Management and maybe try that? Anyone have any experience good or bad in case management?

I wish I would have thought of that

Yes, I let her get away with about 10 different occasions where she smarted me off and I let those instances fester and build...... and number 11, 12, 13 were too much.... But, either way I get upset...If I ignore it and now that I acted this way I regret it and feel horrible.....

Thank you for the advice....I have put at least work through the holidays....But, I think I'm going to leave, not immediately, maybe in the spring....I'd really need to get a year experience or I'm going to be put back on probation at wherever I get I hired...

I know....I lost it

Well that's very nice of you to take time to write such a long personal note to me, thank you.... Honestly, bully is a perfect word but unlike what I think a bully she uses all mental and psychological warfare....

Yeah, I know....I just reacted....I pride myself on being a nice and professional person....I think that's why i'm having all these strange feelings of being upset and distracted at work...

Thank you for being nice to me. I haven't had much of that lately.

I'm just looking for some advice or thoughts on my situation. I am a new grad nurse in month 4 of my first job as a nurse. I am a 40 year old male. I work in an ICU. I have about 35 days before I am allowed to work alone. I had a 26 year old female nurse that was "covering" me as my preceptor she has worked on my ICU for 3 months and has about 2 years overall experience. SHe is pretty good at her job, not perfect but she is definitely a bright nurse and has a big ego. Just working beside her she finds ways to make snide backhanded comments to me, like did you do this, you probably don't know what I'm talking about do ya? Or she'll see me do something and make a comment about it and laugh in my face. Just really mean type stuff. Of course, she has developed a pretty good bond with some of the other nurses already like they go to dinner and hang out. So she's pretty well liked by the core group of about 4-5 nurses that we work with. Anyway, she was precepting me and I was off the floor for a class for 4 hours and I had a pt that needed a stroke work up while I was in class. So Lab came up and drew about 14 tubes of blood. When I came back there were 4 labs still to be collected so I asked a preceptor about them and he said that those labs were already drawn. Well of course they indeed needed to drawn and she started being condescending and saying that failed to do my job (which I did ) but she started berating me like I was a four year old and stood over my shoulder and shouted at me while I was charting like "don't click there, what are you doing?, do you know what you are doing? How many times have you done this, my god!" and I blew up and called her a smartass &*^*& and told her to get away from me. She told the director on me and has since started a bunch of gossip about me. Things like I'm a moron that doesn't understand the very basics. When I came to work they were all gossiping and they got quiet when I walked by. I'm starting to be shunned by the core group. My boss called me in and said there was no excuse for me cursing her and she was right about the labs. Oh and since this happened I have been messing up things left and right. I feel like the end is near for me at my job. Do you guys think I can salvage things or should I start looking for work? Thanks

Thank you for the words of support and now that I have logged in about 15 shifts, I feel much better about the job. Like many of the experienced nurses predicted in this thread, it got better. We had some events occur during my shifts that helped me become more included in the ICU team and that really eased most of my issues. I think that many of my problems arose as a combination of not knowing anyone, not knowing the hospital, not knowing the floor, people not speaking to me and then a death by Powerpoint meeting where a management team read these stringent, strict, perfect world policies that are the "goals" for the ICU staff to achieve, but are always secondary to patient care. So now I go in with patient care in mind and I practice skilled nursing to the best of my ability and time flies by and administrative policies don't even factor into my day for the most part....

If that's all you did, then they probably did you a favor. In the sense that they did not like you and the are very "catty" and the management didn't hesitate to sort of run you down. The alternative would be to slowly show you they don't like you every day and make your life miserable and then still fire you. Just take it as a bad experience and learn from it. Good Luck

Right now, I work 20 (8 hours) shifts a month. I get 2 days off a week and I spent one day recovering from working 5 days in a row and the other day getting 5 days of uniforms, lunches and kids ready for the upcoming week. but, I hope to go to 2 12s and 2 8s, in a few months.....

Yes, respect is another issue. It is certainly a tough situation when you have twenty-somethings sort of sizing you up, and determining that you are beneath them professionally because they have 2-5 years on the job more than you. However, that's a hill I have to climb, alone, to get their respect. I have to take it upon myself to do an outstanding job at all times, to learn at every opportunity and be a professional. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

I figured I'd get a bunch of "put your big girl panties on and deal with it" responses....If those rules are standard everywhere then guess I have no choice then...I haven't gotten the signing bonus, but I think I'll put it in a savings account and give it back to them if I can't take the grind. But, to for the person that asked if I came from a salaried world. Yes, I did, I was the head of my department and I could take a day off here and there if I needed. I haven't clocked in at a job since I was a teenager. It's an adjustment for sure. Thanks to those that responded.

I am a new hire RN, that just started the nurse residency program in an ICU setting. It's day 8 and I sort of feel like I am a private in the Army again. No phones except on lunch, no drinks or outside of the kitchen or the manager will throw your drink away, miss more than 4 shifts in a year and get reprimanded, fight it out for vacations, you can't have a day off unless you get someone to work your shift and then you work theirs and you can't get overtime without prior approval, you can't clock in more than 7 minutes before your report time, clock in 1 minute late and it's counted against you. I understand why those rules are in place, but I'm a grown adult. I've already retired from another career and I'm not looking forward to being treated like a child. I signed a three year contract but I seriously regret it, so far. I was wondering if anyone could recommend any RN career paths that are less stressful and demanding and allow you to have a life outside of work.

I just wanted to tell briefly tell my nclex story and hopefully it can inspire some confidence in others taking the nclex. My backstory is that I am a 39 year old male that got laid off from a very good job and went back to school with my Veterans benefits to study nursing. I was able to enter a nursing program immediately and I took the prerequisite courses at the same time as the core nursing program courses. And to add to that, I had basically zero medical background. So my life was hell for two years, even in the summer. Honestly, I was introduced to medical subjects in my pre-reqs and tested on them in an advanced critical thinking exams in my core nursing courses in the same week. I crammed so much, so fast. We used Kaplan prep tools and I NEVER passed the nclex predictor exams. I took two official test and tried hard and failed them both. So much so that our instructors pulled us aside and I graduated in May and my son and daughter had birthdays, so I didn't have the $200 to schedule the nclex. Also, I didn't have the $350 for the Hurst review that was conducted at our school either. I had to get a summer job. So I was working full time. So I took a month off from studying, actually it was 7 weeks. I scheduled and took the nclex in late July. Truthfully, I tried to study for the nclex the first week after I graduated and I literally could not do it. I couldn't take another test. I couldn't read anymore technical medical information. It felt so good to be out of nursing school and I was working 50 hours a week with 2 days off. So I quit my job a week before the nclex and studied about 2 hours a day. The Kaplan recommends getting a 60% on their tests as a predictor of nclex success. I usually scored from 40-50% on their tests. Which leads me to the encouragement. So nclex day, I had little confidence, but I paid 200 so I showed up. I took the test. I had 150 questions. I had only about 10 select all. I had plenty of questions I wasn't sure about. AND IPASSED!!!! The moral to this story is not to do what I did, do the opposite. Do what they tell you and take 10,000 practice questions and be fully prepared for the nclex. The moral to my story is I was physically and mentally drained, dead broke / falling apart financially and burnt out so bad I cringed at the thought of reading nursing material. I had very low confidence I would pass and I did. So to those that experience adversity as nursing students don't give up, don't doubt yourself and you WILL do it!