Theotherone

Thank you so much for your reply and thank you both for helping in this time of need. My husband does pretty much what you do when he gets home. We have a basket with a trash bag in the kitchen so the minute he gets home, he gets naked in the kitchen. And goes straight to the shower. He leaves his shoes outside or in his car. I use gloves when I put his clothes in the washer and still wash my hands after. I guess I worry because he tells me how limited they are with PPE at his hospital. I’m afraid he can catch COVID19 if not using the right PPE. But he assured me that he is taking every single precaution he can. He tells me he never touches his face and he is always washing his hands. He says he talks to patient with a distance and ect. I am not afraid for me or him, I’m afraid for our children to be honest. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to them.

Hi everyone, I am a wife to an ER RN and I am afraid he could bring Covid19 to our home. Our son and I have asthma and it scares me for us both. We also have a little girl that gets really high fevers just with the regular flu, to where we have to take her to the hospital. I have asked my husband to take FMLA but he refuses too ? am I a bad wife for asking for this? Is there any others out there going through the same situation? I just feel really anxious and scared. I don’t know how to handle this situation. Thank you ?

Why is that so surprising? I called in to a therapist office. They ask how I would be paying? I told them cash and they set me up with a therapist 4 days after. What is so surprising about that? Why would I need to get approve to see a counselor? I don't understand.

lol...

Thank you, yes we are going to get through this together and I will keep updating to show people that it is possible to spend some quality time with your family even if it is only 15, 30 mins a a day. I honestly don't think there is any excuse to neglect the support team or family.

Thank you Jose, I knew that there can be balance, it's just sticking with schedule and be there for one another. Good luck with you in your career.

You are absolutely right, THank you. We am getting ready for this long journey.

Well not really because you don't know us, you know nothing about us beside my problem that I posted. He has read all these comments and he didn't get upset because nobody here knows us at least not in person. I wouldn't go behind my husbands back and do this. He has an account here and has been following. He is the one that told me about this site. Some of these comments that he has read are the reason we sat down to come to an agreement thank god. That is the great thing about networking that you can post all your problems and you will never know who we are :) But thank you for you so "POSITIVE" advice.

Yes I understand why my post would bring that reaction of yours. But if you would take the time to read at least some post you would understand maybe what I am trying to explain. So are you telling me that while you were in your program you didn't spend any time what so ever with your family? not 5, 10, 15, 20, 30 mins? a week. NOTHING? because that is what I am getting from my husband, not even 5 mins. But thank god that is about to change once we had a chance to talk it through and come to an agreement that will suit both of us.

Thank you, and yes we are working on it. We are in this together :) and best of luck to you to.

I totally agree with you. Actually last night we had a good conversation. We talk about how stressful it has been on both of us and I explained to him about this thread and told him that I have come to understand that it is to early in his program for me to get scared and should allow him to settle into his schooling. He agreed %100 he said he has been really stressed out because it's like a curve ball that has hit him, he doesn't know which way it's coming. We laugh and kind of took a breather lol... So for now we have agreed that starting next week he will take 30 mins at night for a brake and a walk with me or with me and the children. No! exceptions. I told him that not only would it be good for us but for him to. He needs to take a brake and clear his mind at least for 30 mins. He was happy and he agreed. He is starting clinicals at he hospital next week so he told me how hectic it's going to be. I will still be going to counseling once a week while he is in the program to help me with these changes. You know so I wont freak out and I can keep being supportive.

Thank you very much, I really appreciate the kind words. It really lift my spirit. :)

well he does tell me pretty much everything he does and what they studied, he even calls me to tell me when a woman text him about something or emails him so I can download the papers they sent him and so on. He is very open with me. So far he is hanging around with 3 guys and 1 girl. That is because they were assign as a group. He is just very private of our life and doesn't want people knowing our life. He is not from this country so he has seen what gossip does to a family and he is very protective of us, he wants nothing to come between me and him. But sometimes he is so protective that he does things that look bad. I have learned that from him through out the years. That's why I have no concern when it comes to infidelity.

Thank you btab3

Well a few years back we were both working very hard and manage to buy some property. We live off our rents from our properties. That is why we quit our jobs to go back to school. But we still need to work part time at lease him just for extra money. He is not a bad husband or trying to boost up his ego lol... He is just not a social man when it comes to others. He is very private about our life. That is why he said he doesn't want me to go around making friends at his school. He said he did not choose to study with them. That is the school he got assigned to and he is just there to finish his schooling.

oh and yes i have helped him with some practice tests, that was actually fun. :)

What is there not to tell, all i want is for him to make time for his family, that is all, a couple of hours a week, that is all i am asking. I know it's possible because some wonderful people here had said that they work and go to school. So if he doesn't work I am sure he can free 2 or 3 hours a week to spend with his family. And of course I am being the supportive wife. As much as I can be. We don't argue over silly things. We have an open communicative relationship. I just think I got scared seeing how much time he spent away from us the first 3 weeks. That is all. So I am going to therapy to help me cope with the change. But we talked today and he said that we were going to sit down and come up with a schedule that pleases both of us in gods will. But yes I have learned from all these wonderful people that time and patience is the key. THank you.

Thank you, he is starting the nursing program. He finish his pre reqs. The reason I started therapy was because after the first 3 weeks we saw that it was a major change from our comfort zone. Especially on my end. He no longer spent any time with us, no time at all for 3 weeks. I got scared So instead of taking my insecurities out on him, I decided to go to therapy to adjust to the change. Nobody likes change especially when it has been the same for 7 years. That is why I also posted here to get some feedback on how other wives have cope and to see if it really is necessary to study 24/7. But like you said and many others, I am going to be patience and let him get settled in so he can get his schedule going. Thank you.

I would feel fine, Thank you. He quite his 12 hour shift job, 6 days a week to go to school. Yet he always made time to spend with us. So we will do just fine in gods will. You see in a job eventually the job has to end for the day. School is like a 24/7 thing there is no brake at lease he doesn't make brakes not now. So once he gets the hang of school and gets settled I think he will fine time for us. Once he gets his job in gods will, he will probably have also 12 hour shifts, but that's the thing once the shift is over, it's over. But school, once school is over here still comes home and studies. He use to work 6am to 6pm but once he got home he had dinner waiting for him at home. He would unwind and maybe some nights not all he would want to go bike ridding with all of us or go to the park. So we are used to him working 12 hours even sometimes 16 hour shifts so that is not a problem :) but thank you.

I want to thank all of you for such great advice and for sharing such wonderful stories. I will keep checking in once in a while and posting how things are going. Thank you all once again. ^_^

Yes your are right. I shouldn't let little comments like that get to me. Thank you

Thank you, best of luck to you.

I was actually testing him a couple of nights ago. I printed out some of those practice test and was asking him the questions. We had lots of fun and he got some good studying done. Kids are still a no no right now lol... I make them go to their room when he is studying in the living room. But at lease they get to see him ^_^

I agree, it has make me feel better reading some of these messages on how it wont be like this the entire 2 years :)

Yeah he did tell me that. He said once i get home i get lazy which I understand. But I told him after dinner I will kick him back out, not kidding. I can be demanding when it's necessary. So he said he would try it next week to come home but that I would really have to kick him back out to go to the library, not to make it comfortable for him lol... So we will see how it goes.