helena1211

I wanted to be a doctor at first. Of course, when I decided this I was about 7 years old, playing with a plastic medical kit. As I grew up, my ideas changed. I realized that I didn't want to be in school for 10 years, and that I was too lazy to become a doctor anyway. But I still never deviated from the medical field in my head. I never even gave any thought to all the other possible careers out in the world. So when I graduated high school, I automatically chose pre-nursing as my major. I didn't have a real reason to. "I want to help people" was far from the truth (I'm not a people person at all). I really couldn't tell you why I wanted to become a nurse. But I got older and so did the people around me. People like my grandfather and dad. I do remember the first physical feeling of desire to become a nurse. I was 15, my grandfather was in the hospital because his liver was hardening (I didn't understand it then). There were nurses who walked in and out of the room with cold looks and stiff shoulders. Really it was most of them who walked around like that, as if they were forced to be there, forced into that career. It made me uneasy and angry. They treated my grandfather, an 87 year old man who was clearly in pain and scared, but never rude or mean to anyone, as if he wasn't even a human being. He spoke no English, but the rest of my family did. They made it seem as if each question we asked or smile we gave resulted in a tooth of their's being pulled. It was horrible. But then walked in a bright face. A young nurse with green eyes who made my grandfather smile. She made everyone feel like he was being taken care of as a real person, not just another chart. I felt it then. A little tug at my heart, almost a push from behind me into that direction. He passed away a few months later, and it was devastating. But I was 15, and not thinking about college applications just yet. I never did forget the feeling I got that day with that nurse. But somehow it stuck with me. Now I'm 22, and my dad has mild Alzheimer's. It's hard. I cry about it every now and then. But I know that I want nothing more than to take care of him and make him feel loved. He's 74 years old. I want the best treatment for him, and as an adult I can be involved and I understand the human body much better than when I was 15. I see too many doctors and nurses who act like they are just trying to get through the day without any problems. I always get the urge to ask 'WHY did you choose this career?' I'm afraid the only answer I'll hear will be about a paycheck/salary. It makes me sad to see people like my grandfather and dad get treated like a file instead of a person. I myself have experienced cold shoulders at my own doctors offices. I can't stand it! Healthcare has changed so much over the years, and not always for better. Maybe it's just where I live (Miami, FL), or maybe I just have bad luck with physicians. Either way, I'd like to make a difference. I want to make someone feel the same way that nurse made me feel that day. She made me want to pass on that kindness and care to someone else. I don't want to take someone's blood pressure and walk out the room without a glance back. The person you are treating is exactly that, a person. A human being that reacts to the things around him or her. Someone who might be scared or confused. I want that person to know that I know that. It may not make complete sense, but this is the only answer I have to that question.