elizabeth10

All of you have no idea how much it helps to hear your positive and encouraging words. I know I am in the storm right now and I want to throw my arms up and give up. But I will move forward. Its just so easy to get overwhelmed thinking into the past and future. I need to stay in today and take it one day at a time but that is sometimes easier said than done. Its just makes it hard not to give up on yourself when the health professionals assistance program I was in gave up on me. Makes me feel like I can't do it and nobody believes in me anymore. I know I made the same mistake again and I should have used the resources I had to prevent it but I didn't and I relapsed. I feel absolutely ashamed and embarassed. Whats worse is I let my family down. The hardest part was admitting everything all over again. I feel like they think I am just a loser and I will never "get it." It makes me feel like a terrible mother when they say they don't understand why drugs mean more to me than my family. I love my little boys (6 and 8 years old) with all my heart and would do anything for them. They are what keeps me going everyday. Seeing their smiley faces makes my problems go away for a second and that is everything to me. I don't have a concrete answer as to why I relapsed but I am doing everything I can right now to prevent it in the future. I don't know what the future holds but I pray it gets just a little less painful.

Hi everyone. I am new to this site. I had my nursing license suspended in 2011 after I diverted pain medication from the facility I was working for. Then I got it reinstated in 2013 after joining the health professionals program. I had a relapse recently and now I have been discharged from the health professionals program and my license is suspended. I just feel ashamed, lost and scared. I was wondering if anyone has been through anything like this.