RNBuggers

Hello! I'm looking for some advice about my career or maybe just someone to tell me I'm not a horrible person for leaving my job after a short time. I worked a med surg/progressive care unit for two years prior to moving to the OR. And after two months of being in the OR I realized I had made a mistake. I miss patient care and talking to my patients. But I told myself I'd stick it out for a year. But then in the 6 months I have been in this OR some very disappointing things have happened related to joint commission and quality issues that I don't feel at liberty to say. But I don't feel as though I can support this OR after some of the things that have happened. So anyway I have two job interviews lined up with Emergency departments which I think is my dream job. But I still have three weeks of orientation left (7 months of orientation total). Am I a huge jerk for leaving on orientation? I'm afraid that they won't let me finish out my 30 day notice. But I'm hoping that maybe I'll only have a week left of orientation when I get offered a job, if I do. I feel really terrible leaving right after I get off orientation but not getting paid for two weeks would be awful. And I feel awful that they spent time and money training me and I'm going to leave them. But besides the quality issues, I feel bullied down there and that the training isn't great and I don't think I can take it much longer. Thanks in advance for your help. Sorry this is so long!

A little over a month off orientation now. And it is better :). Thank you for putting up with my whining! I still feel extremely nervous going to work, but the dread is almost gone! I think having our lead talk to the manger helped. I feel as though my assignments now are more balanced with the other nurses. Some nights I actually feel like I did a good job !

1. Nebraska 2. 27 on nights with 10% differential on weekends 3. No experience 4. Organ transplant

Thank you for the response. Our charge rn talked to the managers about the new graduates getting too difficult of assignments. Hopefully they take that into consideration. I am asking a lot of questions. But I still feel so stupid. I was involved in an error, not all of my fault but partly. A patient was given expired lipids. Another nurse hung tpn for me because I was insanely busy. She thought I had put the lipids in the room and scanned them, but I had not. It was from another night when another nurse did not hang them properly and they did not infuse. I did not notice until late that the patient should not have gotten those lipids. The patient is doing fine from what I know. I feel so horrible about it. And so inadequate. It was a horrible busy and stressful night. I had also scanned a heparin injection for another patient and realized I didn't have carpujet to administer it. I went to go get one and got distracted and never gave the heparin. And didn't realize it until it was time for the next injection. I know that is a very minor mistake and they patient was healthy and going home. But I still feel so stupid! Are these too many mistakes?? I feel like all I do is mess up. I'm sorry to keep whining on here, but it does help to receive input from experienced nurses.

I regret never being a CNA. I think that it would have helped me tremendously in becoming a nurse.

Thank you for the reponses, they have really helped. I have talked to other new nurses on our unit and they also have concerns. We have lost a few new grads in the last couple months. Which makes me realize I'm not alone in feeling like this. My second week of orientation did go better in a way. I didn't make any mistakes that I am aware of. But I did get another insulin drip, a heparin drip, one very high acuity patient, one patient started having chest pain, and I got an admit. I asked for a lot of help and I feel as though I handled it well. I was very overwhelmed and felt like bawling the entire shift but I got through it. There is talk about turning our unit into progressive care. Meaning it will be a strictly what our specialty is (I will not say what it is to protect the facility and myself). We will be 4:1 ratio if the changes are made. I will wait to see what the decision about it is next month and if there are no changes made I think that I will look for another job.

Thank you for the advice everyone, it really has been helpful. I know that I am not the only new grad in the world and that I am not the only one that feels like this. But I can't help but feel alone. I'm afraid that I'll make another mistake, or I won't know what do to or my patient will have an order that is not right for them and I won't recognize that it is bad. With the HD line, it looked like a central line to me and I didn't think to ask about it, because I thought it was okay. Whenever I get them now I make sure the handing off nurse shows it to me before they leave. I promise that I ask questions, I am probably the most annoying new nurse on our floor ! The nurses on our floor are very helpful, but we are all very busy all of the time. I just want to not feel so stupid all of the time and I want to know that this feeling eventually goes away. I spent too much time and money in nursing to give up!

I know this topic has been exhausted, and I have probably read every post related to it. But I think I just need to get it off my chest and talk with nurses outside of work. I am a brand new nurse and I have been off orientation for one week. I have made two errors (thankfully ended up being minor). On orientation I flushed a hemodialysis line. I thought it was just another line I could use, I had never heard of not being able to use them so I didn't think to ask. All the proper steps were taken and the patient was fine. I will definitely never ever do that again! Next on my first night off orientation, I was extremely overwhelmed (obviously)! I had a patient on an amiodarone drip and pca, another with a pca, and one with an insulin drip. I made a slight error with the insulin. I miss understood the order that if the patient went out of goal that they needed to be checked every hour again. I thought it was after two checks of being out of goal that it needed to go to every hour. The patient was fine and I only missed one check and realized the error. everyone told me it was totally fine and that I learned from it! My manager was even really cool about it when I told her. I just feel so bad about these mistakes still. I dread going into work every night and I hate this feeling. I am so scared about everything I don't know and that I will really hurt someone. I know that it takes about a year to feel comfortable, but how soon does the fear go away? I can hardly take it anymore. We are a very stressful unit with patients that should be in the icu and we have a 5:1 ratio. Does anyone have any loving advice for this anxious and scared new nurse?