now_what

Hi! Im really down right now. I was in a one year TPAPN program with drug screens and was stupid and took NyQuil. It came up as alcohol on a drug screen. I was told I'd be ok as long as I didn't get another positive but the next thing I know I'm getting discharged from TPAPN. I almost got my license suspended!! I hired a lawyer thinking I'd get my second chance at TPAPN but that didn't happen. Now I'm on a board order with such strict restrictions and it spells out everything from failing TPAPN because of a positive drug screen for alcohol, the level of alcohol and that I'm a danger to be working in healthcare. I had a great interview, really thought I had the job because the woman interviewing me had also fought the board so she understood. But she questioned the level of alcohol. She said it was very high. I told her the truth about EVERYTHING!!!! I don't know how the level can be so high from a few doses of NyQuil a day and a half before the drug screen!! I left the interview sobbing. How am I ever going to get back to work?? I get doors slammed in my face everywhere I turn!! I hate where I'm at.

I'm not going to give up. I haven't even received my TPAPN paperwork in the mail yet and I'm already frustrated! hahaha I better buckle down and hold on tight! Thank you, everyone, for answering my post!! It feels so good to have such great support!! I think what helps me right now at this moment in time is "one day at a time". Because I just try to make it through each day as it comes, doing the best that I can and that is just about all I can expect from myself. If I start thinking about everything that I have coming down the pipeline I start to get overwhelmed and it doesn't do me any good! Well, my dog is fighting my laptop for my attention! hahaha, she keeps pushing my hand away from the computer with her nose. I guess I've been on this thing too long! Good night ladies and thanks again!! Let's keep this thread going! I want to keep up with everyone! ~Karen

well, I can't figure out how to leave a private message. I read some 15where you have to have made 15 posts before you can start private messaging people? Weird rule, anyway, here is my email address. If you feel comfortable, send your cell phone number there and I will text you. [email protected]

I'm so happy for you! I'm extremely grateful too! I'm also ****** at the same time. I told the hiring manager when she hired me that I would work nights only if my three shifts a week were NOT three in a row. I knew I had to have them spread out. She assured me that would be fine. However as soon as I was hired she immediately had me working three in a row. I didn't know I was bipolar until after i was hired, however I knew the sleep thing was a HUGE issue for me. I go bat **** crazy with lack of sleep. It triggers my symptoms and it all makes sense now. But anyway, my third month into three night shifts in a row (I also have fibromyalgia) I was going nuts but was trying to push through but one night I knew I was a wreck and shouldn't be working. I tried to find someone to cover my shift but couldn't. It was too late to call in sick and I was in my three month trial period so I HAD to go in. About four hours into the shift I fell asleep and was busted and turned into the board. Anyway, now I just have to do what I have to do. I just have to deal with it. Who knows, something good just might come out of this!! That's how I'm trying to look at it but right now it is very hard. I feel completely crushed, defeated and lost. But at least my license is still clean. It's really too bad we have to tell our prospective employers that we are even being monitored. I mean, I was told it was a confidential program so I thought "OK, no big deal" but then I read on here about telling about tpapn during interviews and I freaked. I really appreciate your support!! I really need friends that have been through this or going through this now. is there some way I can give you my phone number privately so we can maybe text?

oh great, that doesn't help!! Question, does being in TPAPN mean we have a restricted license? I go to apply for jobs and it states under requirements that the applicant needs "full unrestricted license" even under all the government jobs. I'm wondering if I'm just spinning my wheels for no reason. Maybe I should just start flipping burgers.

How do I get job openings with the state? What kind of work do you do? Where do you live? I really want to get back into my specialty but I'm not sure that's possible right now.

well, my background is in newborn nursery so I never dealt with narcotics so I don't think the TPAPN stipulations are going to be the problem. I think my problem is just getting an interview. I don't even know how to get my foot in the door. All my experience is in womens health. For over 20 years my resume is L&D, post partum and mainly newborn nursery for the last 10 years. What long term care facility wants me? Or dialysis? They're all going to wonder why the heck I'm applying outside my specialty!

Hi! I was just recently diagnosed with bi polar disorder. It went undiagnosed for many, many years and I struggled terribly with working and keeping up with employment. I was fired from my last two jobs before being properly diagnosed and reported to the board. I also have an addiction to pain pills, however have been clean for over ten years and that hasn't been an issue during my employment, however, after being reported to the board I divulged this information and was then referred to TPAPN for dual diagnosis, bipolar and chemical dependancy. I understand the bipolar, but not too happy about the chemical dependancy, but what can I do? Anyway, I've been applying to jobs, many, many jobs and can't even get an interview. The big problem is they don't even know about the TPAPN part yet! I don't think I'm EVER going to get back in the game at this rate. They take one look at my resume and turn and run! Will I ever dig myself out of this hole I've dug? I am so upset about what I've done to myself professionally. I want to fix this so badly but wondering if I've just screwed up so bad it's too far gone??