clemforshort

Oh my gosh! This post is so much longer than I even thought it was. I'm sorry! Comments still incredibly appreciated, but I'll totally understand if I don't get any. Who would have time to read all this? :) I guess I had a lot bottled up....

Hi all, So, I'm freaking out, and trying to figure out whether to stay in my nursing program or not. I know my post is kind of long, so I put a few bullet points up top. For those of you willing to read through, there's all the background information below. Thank you so much for your insight! Does it make sense to get a nursing degree if I don't think I'm cut out for doing clinical work? Without having done it before, how can I know if clinical work is right for me? Is all hospital nursing focused on fast paced technical skill, or are there some floors that are quieter, less hectic, and have more time for patient interaction? Is it normal to feal absolute, stomach-turning, incredible dread every time I go to class or the hospital, or is that a sign that I'm doing the wrong thing? Should I just give up my desire for stability and flexibility, and head for a counseling, teaching or social work degree, since that's the kind of thing I to 'm likely to want to do anyway? Are there more humanities/social science-minded folks who feel like nursing school is totally against type for them, but then enjoy their practice once they're out of the grind of school and can leave the hospital setting? I just started an accelerated BSN program, and I'm really struggling. I have a background in health education and social service, and I had no idea the level of highly technical, highly pressured, highly regimented new motor skills that I would have to learn in nursing school, how long it would take me to become comfortable with those skills, and how little time for patient interaction there would actually be. I know that's completely naive, but it's true. I imagined that, with a nursing degree, I could use my skills in health education, advocacy and counseling, but get paid better than I ever would as a social worker, and be able to work the hours that I want. I know that there are lots of non-clinical jobs out there for nurses (public health, etc.) but it seems insane to put myself through the difficulty of a clinical degree if I don't actually want to be a clinician. And plus, I'm not sure how easy it would be to get those out-of-hospital jobs, anyway. Basically, I'm realizing that I'm getting a clinical degree, but I'm not sure I'm cut out for the work that's likely to be available, and I don't want to be screwing up my life or endangering my patients. Every moment I'm in school feels like I'm walking through water, and playing completely against type. I'm a touchy-feely, talk-y kind of person, and I just feel so completely anxious and terrified and out of place in the hospital environment. I love working with people, but the rest of it is just SO hard--dealing with the stressful environment, all the focus on litigation, and my own OCD-type fears of hurting someone else of contaminating myself....It's all a little much to take given that I'm not one of those people who is 100% sure that nursing is for me. I'm getting through my classes, but I don't enjoy them, I'm not a fan of technology, never been into the sciences, and I have a really hard time with spatial skills and focusing on multiple things at once...At the same time, I love health education, and could see myself doing Sexual Assault Response Nursing, working in a women's clinic, or some kind of harm-reduction program for teens. I could probably do those things as a nurse, but only after several years of experience in acute care, and I might be able to do them even more easily as a counselor or social worker....I'd miss out on the flexibility and diversity of nursing, but I the wouldn't have to live through the pain of nursing school for clinical skills I don't really need. On the other hand, I know that the field of nursing is so incredibly broad, and that I'm likely to find something that I'm passionate about once I just get the darn degree and get out there. I've also been told that, once you spend the first couple of years getting your skills down, the huge anxirty about specific clinical tasks fades away, and much more of your job becomes about relating to patients, counseling families, and advocating for the people you work with. All that sounds great! I know this is a bit of a ramble, but I could really use some help thinking through this, and deciding whether to stay in the program at all. I have a scholarship to go (which is an incredible blessing), so I mostly think I should just stick it out....It's only 15 months in school, and then a 2 year committment working as a clinical nurse in an under-served area, and then I'm free and could do whatever I want with the degree. But do I want to committ to at least 3.5 years if I already worry that much of what I'll be doing will feel contrary to who I am? Is it worth it?

Has anyone who received the finalist e-mail actually gotten word that they've been approved for the scholarship? I got the finalist e-mail more than a month ago, and since then, I haven't heard anything. Nobody I talk to at the Customer Service Center can tell me anything, either, and I need to pay my tuition soon. Anybody in the same boat?

Also, still wondering about the location of folks who say that there are lots of qualifying facilities near them. I'm in central Virginia, and there's basically nothing within 3 hours. I don't have kids yet, so I'm willing to relocate, but I'm just wondering where the likely places are that I might wind up....

I'm nearly positive that your credit has nothing to do with it. As long as you haven't defaulted on a federal loan (like school loans, etc.) or some other court ordered payment (child support...) then you should be fine. Having a bunch of credit card debt or having missed payments shouldn't matter, as long as those payments weren't going to a government entity. That's my understanding, at least.

Julesmama, could you tell me what area you're in? It seems like nothing near me counts.....

I in no way meant to be saying there were "so few applicants"....I'm really sorry if that's how it came off. I just thought I had read that last year there were 6000 something applicants, and this year there were around 2500. Obviously that's still a ridiculous....I was trying to be encouraging, but my apologies if it backfired.

Weird, though...when I log on to accept the award, it says that I'm a finalist, which doesn't actually guarantee the award....and then, yeah, asks for my banking information. So I don't really get it. I'm I in, am I a finalist, what?! Also, seems like there were many fewer applications this year than in the past...maybe because of the more stringent requirements on where you can work. You basically have to be willing to relocate, which isn't possible for everyone. Just saying, keep up hope, seems like many more folks will be getting e-mails soon.

Yup, I just got an e-mail saying I'd been awarded. Freaking out. I'm in Massachusetts, last name L, Accelerated Bachelors.

Last name starts with L, so right in the middle.

In answer to an earlier question, I used quizzle.com to check my credit, and I found it under "Credit Report" and then "Credit Inquiries". But, like I said earlier, creditkarma.com didn't show an inquiry at all. I don't think anyone should lose hope at all...it seems like the whole credit check thing is hit or miss--sometimes it shows on your credit report, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it seems like an early credit check is a good sign, and sometimes it seems like it means nothing at all. I think we're all just going to have to sit tight until the results come out.... And I'm going for an accelerated bachelors in Massachusetts. EFC: 0

I've heard of "creditsesame.com" but never used it. Good luck!

It's strange---I've been checking creditkarma.com like a mad-woman, and haven't seen any credit inquiries...but when I just got an account with another free credit report site (quizzle.com) they reported that I had my credit pulled on July 15th by CBC something something....Whatever it was was listed as "federal government", so I imagine it's the HRSA folks. For those of you going crazy about this (like me) I'd suggest trying a couple of different credit check sites, just make sure they're not the ones that lower your credit score by checking.

I've been checking creditkarma.com, which is free and supposedly doesn't harm your credit by checking a million times a day, which I certainly have been. I don't know much about credit scores and whether creditkarma would actually pick up on your credit being pulled and report it immediately, but its worth taking a look. You can also of course request a formal credit report from one of the three big names, but I think you only get to do that once a year, and checks beyond that do influence negatively influence your credit. Someone else with more experience in credit/financial stuff--feel free to chime in with better information!

For what it's worth, even though our deadline got delayed, our applications were still due a day before last year's....I looked at the application packet for 2012, and the due date is May 8th. Anyway, just some hope that perhaps we'll start seeing credit checks soon.