danigold

I drive 40 minutes each way with no traffic. I find it to be relaxing and enjoyable, although the drive home is more annoying than the drive in b/c I am anxious to get home to my family.

I think we all hoped that as new grads we would somehow not be as stressed as those we read about.....that we would somehow be able to navigate everything without completely breaking down.......as a new grad who cried on the way home just last night, I have not found this to be possible. It's just such a big learning curve. Every single nurse I have spoken to says it takes a year or two. I'm starting to think two is more likely, as I have been off orientation since October and still have my days where I leave feeling like I've just done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. I think personally it will help me immensely when this year's new grads start, b/c I think when I am able to compare myself and see how much I have learned and picked up without realizing it my self confidence will be boosted. Just keep on doing your best!!!! That's my plan. So far I have not been pulled aside and told my best isn't good enough, so I'm assuming that's a good sign. I'm also very open to criticism. If something happens that I don't feel good about, I go right to the charge nurse and say, "Here's what happened. I don't feel like I handled it the best way I could have. What could/should I have done differently for future reference?" I am chalking every situation up to a learning opportunity. I like to think of a pocket that started out empty. Every day I put something in it, even if it's something small. The other day was the first day I took out staples, for instance. So now I know how to do that. I feel pretty good about PEG tubes now. That's in my pocket now. Got my ACLS the other day. In my pocket it went. My pocket that started out pretty empty is starting to bulge. YOU CAN DO THIS. Start filling your pocket. Every day think about what went well, what you learned and can put in your pocket, even if it's something NOT to do in the future.

Just bought 3 pairs of scrubs today....one pair of Koi (the Lindsey pant, which I loved in the fitting room) and two pairs of WonderWink. I also have Cherokee Luxe and they are really soft and comfortable as well - same type of fabric as Grey's Anatomy.

I could have written this post. I am a new grad (May '12) and have been on the job 6 months. I work on the step down unit of a small community hospital. Normal patient load is 5 patients. I know exactly what you mean about good days. If my patients are all stable and nothing majorly unexpected happens I start to think, "Hey, maybe I CAN do this job!" Then you have the days (often) where everything happens all at once. You have to give a med quickly, and of course the IV no longer flushes or is infiltrated (and I SUCK at IV starts). Then when you are dealing with this, an aide comes to tell you that so and so's BP is seriously high. The monitor tech then calls in to tell you the patient's family in room whatever wants to talk to you. The doctor picks that minute to see one of your other patients and start changing orders left and right, so you run to the Pyxis only to find out that pharmacy has not yet verified the meds and/or the med you need is not on step down, it's on med/surg. So you have to run by there...on your way you pass the room where the family wants to talk to you...they think you are arriving to talk to them and get annoyed when you say you will be there soon and pass them by......then your other patient calls out with chest pain or something and next thing you know you are barely hanging on to your emotions by a thread. One day I had to stop a hospitalist from consoling me because the first person who said, "Are you okay?" to me was going to get a sobbing, heaving, hysterical mess to deal with (I can hold it together as long as no one tries to comfort me). When when when will I feel like I'm good at this? UGH. And I totally agree about the task orientation. I'm still trying so hard to get it all done that I find I'm having zero time to really sit and help people. I feel like I'm not helping anyone the way I thought I would. I have no time!!!!! If patient is chatty and starts a long convo, I'm trying to figure out how to gracefully exit the room the whole time thinking of all I have to do. This is not the nurse I wanted to be!!!!!! I am just going to keep plowing through and hope one day I realize I'm having more good days than crazy days and realize hey - I have arrived!!!! UGH.

New grad here. No major words of wisdom, just commiseration. I graduated in May '12 and started working in July '12 on a step down unit in a small community hospital. I cry often. I obsess about whether I am doing a good job or whether I suck and everyone is afraid to tell me that I have picked the wrong field. I wake up in the middle of the night and think about my patients. I obsess about whether I have failed them in some way. I often feel like I am masquerading as a real nurse, that somehow I will be "found out" that I really don't know what the hell I am doing. People assure me I am doing fine and that the first year is like this, but I can't help but stress out constantly about everything. I am very encouraged by the many responders who said something "clicked" for them. I personally cannot wait for this "click." This job is definitely not for the faint of heart, that is for sure.