auntmeme

First, HUGS to you for everything did finding ways to help get her comfortable. Don't feel as you failed her, you were there for her in a time of need and did a lot to make sure she could become comfortable. Not sure how young she was, but I can't imagine dying at a early age. The fear of the dying process, the feeling of wanting to live longer, etc., ugh. Was her family with her at this time? Did she ever get to express how she felt about the dying process with any of the hospice staff? When my mother passed away from cancer, my siblings and father voiced to her it was okay to go. We remained by her bedside until she passed, each taking turns in shifts so she was never alone...and she passed very peacefully. Then years later, my father-in-law who was ill didn't have closure with some of his family members, the hallucinations, pacing, agitation was horrible. Hospice finally decided to take him to the hospital to give him a morphine drip which finally worked to allow him to pass peacefully. However, in the back of my mind I was sad because I knew he truly wasn't at peace within him self to "let go". I just recently came across a book titled "Final Gifts" written by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley. I really enjoyed this book it answered some of my personal questions and has allowed me to help explain to family members what they think are "crazy things" have meaning.

No it's not you. I felt the same way when I got my first LPN job. It was awful, had two days of orientation, showed up for the third day and found myself on the floor with those who said they would be around nowhere to be found. I bit the bullet so to speak and did my job to the best of my ability. Meds got passed and treatments done sure I may have been slow, but it was all done safely and accurately. Over time it got better with the med pass. I created a "brain" sheet for the residents I care for which helps A LOT!! After three weeks and my confidence building as a "new" nurse I convinced myself to find a different place of employment. This particular facility didn't fit the values I had within myself and found myself becoming upset. I left that job was unemployed for 5 months.I have since found a job that I absolutely love. There are days where I find myself running behind...who doesn't? However, I have confidence, my employer has confidence and most importantly the residents and their families have confidence they are getting good care. Hang in there, things will get better.

I would have simply acknowledged that you heard the request, stated that you would first give the patient you were pulling meds for their medication and then be right there. If it was so important to the charge nurse, why didn't she step up to help out?