I feel your anguish. When I was a newly licensed LPN (I am now an RN) I worked on a "sub-acute" floor of a LTC I had 20 patients on the day shift. Everyday I thought I was going to lose my license. It sounds like you were set up to fail by the management. I now work at an acute rehab facility on the night shift and have a patient load of up to 15 max, which sometimes is difficult. The mentality that goes into overnight staffing is that the patients are sleeping. We have had nights where we are all running all night long. People don't sleep when they are sick and in the hospital. Then you have to add in the brain injured and dementia patients that need 1:1 supervision. The policies at your facility definitely need to be looked at and adjusted. In our facility if a patient has a trach, they automatically get suction equipment in their room whether they need it or not. We don't have wall suction or central o2 at my place. Use this as a learning experience. As a new nurse you will constantly second guess yourself and wonder if you did enough or the right thing. I hope you can get past this experience and like I said use this as a learning experience, you will never make the same mistake twice.