i'm a holistic rn and i felt the same way as you. i've always wanted to help people, but was not a fan of hospitals or pushing medication. after nursing school, i worked on a psych unit for a few year to get hospital experience, but could no longer keep doing it because i felt that hospitals were all about money & did not care about the patients.....they were simply dollar signs to the "hospital business". i always believed in natural medicine and loved teaching my patient about natural healing therapies, so i decided to look for a holistic nursing program. it can be hard to find a program, but i enrolled in the one i found...the ny college of health professions. the program revolved around chinese medicine & amma therapy, and even had clinicals in the teaching clinic so we got hands on experience with real patients....it was tough, but i'm so happy i did it. i love holistic nursing and being able to teach people how they can heal themselves. since graduating from there, i took certification classes in reiki & raindrop therapy. i'm glad i finally found my niche in nursing, and do love it, but since holistic medicine i not yet mainstream or covered ny insurance, it is difficult to find a job as a holistic nurse....you have to create it yourself sometimes. i worked at an integrative healing center providing holistic treatments, and now working in a city office with my own business. i have a fan page on facebook if you'd like to check it out. i'm not sure where you live, but you should look into holistic nursing programs in your area. i believe that you should always do what makes you happy! hope this helped :)