katygw

I’m sorry to hear your med surg experience wasn’t better. It sounds like you made the right move though! Definitely get some good nursing experience under your belt before you go back to school. Having a foundation of nursing knowledge out in the field and assessment skills will help you in the long run! I’m glad I waited and got experience before I made the grad school decision. Hope the mom and baby unit is going well and best of luck on your journey! Enjoy it!

Hello! WOW! what can happen in 9 years! I only ended up staying at that job for 7 months. I haven’t done med surg since and it was what was best for me. I worked in allergy, dermatology, endoscopy, and currently have been in perioperative nursing for the past 2 years which I love! I feel like I found my niche in nursing for sure. My confidence has grown with experience and time to the point where I decided to go back to graduate school to get my Masters in nurse practitioning! So I’m working in a university hospital‘s surgical center and I’m a part time student at their university. Enjoying it all and wouldn’t change anything. Are you brand new on your floor? Problems with a preceptor? Just remember: Things will get better-whether they do on that floor or not, they will get better. I know for me personally, it was best for me to go elsewhere. I am the first to admit I can be a better nurse when I can focus...trying to juggle 5 patients, which isn’t even that many by med surg standards, was tough for me. Learning what your strengths, Weaknesses, likes, dislikes, and preferences are all comes with time. I knew the floor was not meant for me and it may or may not be for you..but that is a decision you have to make. I would talk with your manager if you haven’t already! Any other new nurses on the floor you could relate to or confide in may help too. Just know there are other things out there if this doesn’t work out. I’m a firm believer in changing your situation if it doesn’t make you happy. ?

Hi ButtonNose! since I posted this original thread many things have changed! I just got an offer to work in an allergy office and I am taking it not only to "escape" the floor but also because I think Ill actually be happy there! lol I think I will do well in a lower stress environment such as an office and I like the idea that I can help people but have them go on their merry way afterwards! I like that ill be able to focus on what Im doing with one person at a time and not 5 highly acute patients. I would still consider the outpatient OR setting in the future but after this experience I know I will not want to work in a hospital ever again. Glad I got the experience and learned alot but am GLAD that I'm leaving..just have 4 more shifts on the floor. But sounds like we have the same feelings...my advice is to just start applying to other places! I have 7 months med surg experience now so I would try to stick it out to at least 6 months if you havent already as it looks stronger on your resume.. let me know if you hear from anyone and if your going to pursue the OR. Good luck!

Ive been fortunate in that its happened to me a couple times. First time for my first nursing job in med surg which I am happily leaving this soon approaching feb 18th after 7 months for an allergy office job I was just offered on the spot for this past sunday..couldnt be happier to leave the crazy hospital floor which I will never work on again..and the office is well staffed, well run, doctor is very nice...I was just lucky to be in the right place at the right time and apply right when they posted the job on the internet..applied sat and got the job sunday. If you get a good "vibe" I say go for it! if they will take any warm body to fill a position asap that can be a red flag...the office Ill be working at has some older nurses who they anticipate to be retiring sooner or later and they wanted to bring me in so they arent in a bind to get someone on the staff later on if something happened unexpectedly to one of the older nurses.

Is this a peds floor in a hospital?! and they only give you 12 shifts of orientation? that to me sounds very wrong and just plain unsafe especially if this is in an acute setting. I oriented to my adult med surg floor for about three months...they happily extended it from 6 wks to 9-10 wks. On a peds floor I would think they would give you around what I got if not more since with peds you have to be so safe and careful because its children! I would definitely go to your manager asap and tell her youll need more time...that way she'll know and wont be thrown for a loop if you were to tell her at shift 11 that you need more time...this way she can make sure it can be arranged or tell you if more time is doable at all...I say act on it now rather than wait and see...if they want to produce a competent and safe new grad they have to expect to put time into your training..just my opinion.

I feel alot of what has been posted..started on the floor in July...have been on my own for about a month now..trying to stick it out til the 6-8 month mark and looking for an OR opportunity at that time whether it be at my facility or elsewhere. My floor and its sister floor are pretty stressful..especially for me b/c I trained on the floor I was HIRED for my whole orientation and have gotten put on the other floor for half the time ive been on my own already (these floors are different-one is tele and has different types of surgery and is more acute=the floor I didnt orient to..idk why they're "sister" floors)..one new grad just quit at the end of his orientation to my floor bc he felt he couldnt handle it...needless to say it looks like my floor has a high turnover which isnt comforting. Im just taking it one shift at a time, and hope this shall pass quickly because I know this is not for me, I cant handle being pulled in 340986 different directions on a very acute floor..Im running around all night yet feel like Im doing nothing..I was an honor student and want to transfer that drive over to work but I just can't handle all that is thrown at me in 8 hrs and feel burnt out and frustrated most of the time on my shift which doesnt help with your performance...anyways just wanted to vent, nice to know Im not alone but still feeling depressed about it...plus I found out today I work xmas eve and xmas day and thanksgiving...so much for having any holidays whatsoever with my family...

yup Im feeling the same things...just got off orientation 3 weeks ago. I trained on a med surg unit with more abdominal stuff, but a good mix of surg and medical and what happens my SECOND week on my own...I get put on our "sister" unit but its not considered floating because its our "sister" unit...what a load of crap..this other floor is more thoracic, back pts, more acute pts, AND it's tele (and Im not tele because my unit that I was hired for isnt)...and I only had one day of my 10 week orientation (extended from 6 weeks thank God) on our "sister" unit and I was thrown there my second week going solo which I think is ridiculous..was there tonight..left an hour late, cried the whole way home. I really do hate M/S..and I agree with the above that I don't feel like a nurse, I feel stressed all the time and burned out already..I even asked my manager today if I could go down to 32 hrs a week because I need the extra day off to collect myself and because I feel like I have absolutely no life. and I totally feel the same way EDnursetobe, the only thing getting me through this is when I have the weekend or a day off (which I do this weekend yay) and that I wont be doing this for long. ultimately would want to stay a year but that is sounding longer and longer each day...Ill be happy with 8 months (counting orientation) at this point.

Thanks for replying! comforting to know someone out there has felt the same things about MS! lol ultimately if I could hold out til the one year mark on the MS floor thatd be great but we'll see. glad to hear you love the OR, I have a good feeling about it and hopefully when the time is right I can land a position there. thanks again.

thank you for the replies! since my message some shifts have been better than others...but I know that will happen with any job...today is my last day of orientation so its going to get even more interesting...I wanna stick it out for a year and move on afterwards..Ill do my best..I know Im learning alot of my floor, I just dont think long term I would be able to deal with it all to be honest, stress, etc. would burn me right out. OR strikes my fancy..so that's kind of my goal for a little bit down the road.

I've been working on a med surg unit since July, about to come off orientation...and I already feel like I know I want to put in the bare minimum (6 months) before I can transfer. The pace is crazy and makes me feel uncomfortable, especially at the start of the shift when Im trying to see everyone and an admission comes up or an issue with a pt with new orders,etc, etc. I dont like doing the majority of the tasks you do on a MS floor (but the one thing I do enjoy IVs, procedures, dsg changes but that is what 3% of the time) and the sheer NUMBER of tasks in general is just...daunting. And I feel like I can't possibly fit all the information I need to know or remember to do in my head in order to care for everyone, even when I write it on paper I feel I dont remember to do everything on time. Time management and pacing is hard for me, especially when I want to take the few minutes with a person when all the while in the back of my head I have to keep thinking about how to leave the room without being rude and cutting the person off because I still have to do X,Y, and Z. And I feel like its sometimes hard to really learn in such a chaotic environment. I also feel like I almost have to half ass some of what Im doing (or at least not do some things I had planned) in order to get what needs to be done done, and that has never been in my personality to not do things 100%. I know many would say to this "just give it time, itll get better!"...but what if I just don't LIKE med surg? Does getting better at something automatically mean that I'll like it? I think the two are very different lol. Ive read on here how people have left nursing because they started in MS and hated it, I dont want this experience to jade my view of nursing completely because there has to be something out there that I'll like. But I've also read that transferring after 6 months looks bad but at this point I dont really care...I dont know..overall I just want this "experience" to be over. Am I crazy or do others feel this way? Ive heard you can either love or hate MS..I think Im the later. I feel like my personality could do well in the OR...I just wonder if I should give MS time and then transfer or not waste their time and look into OR now.

Hello! Im a new grad nurse who started working on a med surg floor this July. While I know my time on the floor will expose me to so many different things I don't think I could handle the stress for years...I want to get my M/S experience and then find a specialty. I am considering OR as something that may be a good fit for me in the future...before anyone yells at me I know the OR is very stressful as well...not saying I would go there because it's easier than M/S but I feel that it could be an environment that suits me well. I am a very detail oriented, thorough, safety conscious person. I love anatomy...I found that class to be one of the most interesting in my 4 years in college. I like to put all of my focus and energy into what I am doing and I feel that with the OR with one case at a time I can really do everything I need to do correctly and safely for the patient. I am new to nursing and I've found out that med surg can be alot thrown at you in a short period. I feel that sometimes I am stretching myself too thin and forget to do the little things that I want to do for my patients..or that I forgot to chart something, etc. etc. I feel that with the focus needed in the OR I could really be a beneficial team member as I know my brain will not be trying to balance 5 pts' issues but rather one pt. who needs much attention and care while on the table. There was a new grad periop program at the hosp I am working at but timing, etc. wasnt right and I might not have been seriously considering it at the time. I think around a year from now it would be nice to be starting in the OR and even nicer if I got a position where I orient to preop, OR, PACU as the periop program does.. that way I can get a great mix of everything, never get bored, still have some pt. interaction, and not always try to juggle so so much as on a floor. I guess my question is more for anyone who went from the floor to the OR..do you enjoy it? are my interests that I stated above relevant to being fit for the OR? I will probably try to shadow just to see what it is like down the road if I decide to try to get in the OR...I know you really either love it or hate it and I would make sure it's a good fit...just something I'm considering...thanks in advance to any OR nurses for their opinions.:)

thanks for the comforting words, didn't sound like my manager wants a drug test...she said to read over the policy and let me preceptor know..but as you said if anything needs to be done I know it's for everyone's safety...as for giving a dropped pill..I just dont even know why that happened..Im a germophobe so it shouldnt have but it was so quick and unexpected and he was adamant that he didn't care so he just took it...dumb on my part..still punching myself (figuratively speaking) about that...it just happened so fast! Im so paranoid that he's going to get some infection or something..he's a younger guy (compared to the majority of geriatric pts we get) with a very good appetite when I had him so hoping the pill was digested and broken down and eliminated quickly. the whole thing was just a mess..bottom line always in MED CUPS...I usually use the med cup but for some reason I wasnt on these occasions...learned my lesson!

Good to know Im not the only one either, thanks as well lol..yes it's like you described it..I just didn't even think about it because with other pills you dont really think twice (if a vitamin were to fall on the floor..no problem to just throw it away)...it's not like I said in my mind right then "oh I should waste this but eh whatever"...I legitimately just didn't think to do it...dont ask why I just didnt! Sometimes I get ahead of myself and I think it's what happened here. I just want to tell my preceptor, hope my manager is okay and move on. I have 3 classroom days starting tomorrow and then the weekend off..I'd like to enjoy this mini mental/physical break from the floor without worrying about this the entire time...I'm like that at times unfortunately..I tend to dwell on things...but I know only I can control that.

my manager said to let her know I'll just explain it as I did on this board which is the God's honest truth...I just wasnt expecting the pill to fall so I didnt really think it through and just thought about getting another one...wasnt expecting to have to waste so my brain didnt really realize it and consider it. Sometimes I wonder what I look to to my preceptor and manager...like a crazy chicken with my head cut off not knowing all of this stuff...I just hope they can see where I'm coming from and understand...Im just overwhelmed and trying to do the best I can. I want to get alot out of med surg so I can have the experience and gain the knowledge and then go into a specialty...right now it just seems so "task" oriented and like Im not using my brain..hopefully that changed with time.

thanks for the replies...I realize in the scheme of things there are much more major errors that can be made...I have to mention it to my preceptor and I hope she is okay about it...she's very nice and helpful...honestly my brain just kind of skipped to the next step which was getting a new pill...whereas I should have first wasted the other one...in no way was trying to make it quicker or easier..and the fact that it was unplanned made my brain kind of skip that step...Ive wasted narcs before when they come in the syringes and have done it correctly..I guess this being my first run in with an unintentional situation where a waste was needed didn't really jog my brain into doing that...if that makes sense to anyone lol. I just hope everyone is okay about it and can move on...and yes trust me from now on ALWAYS into a cup...he was a young pretty healthy guy so I figured I'd just pop em into his hand..wrong idea on my part lol.

Im a new grad working on a med surg unit, Im at about 4 wks in to orientation and just got put up to 4 pts. One pt got percocet prn and I gave it to him earlier in the shift..well me being so smart decided to just peel them out of the packages and into his hand..well one went flying onto the floor..just on there for a couple seconds and he insists he'll take it while I was saying Ill get another one..it all happened fast and he ended up taking it...feel like punching myself in the face afterwards and thinking he's going to get some hideous infection..will NEVER again happen...well later on he was due for it again...same thing when one fell on the floor (Im so graceful) this time I insisted and said NO I am getting you another one..put that one in the sharps and got another but it didnt even occur to me to waste it with another nurse! I was so focused on getting the replacement it just didnt enter my brain. only when I got home and realized "crap! itll show I pulled three!" I informed my manager this morning via email as I have the day off today and wont be in..she said to let my preceptor know and to read up on the policy and said what to do next time...she is very nice and has never been the intimidating scary manager so I appreciate her understanding..she wants to talk with me tomorrow (but had a smiley face next to this statement in her email so I think it's just to see how Im doing)...bottom line I just feel like an idiot! a. about the pill on the floor and then b. not wasting the other one when it happened again...It's just hard for me right now to think of each thing on a busy med surg floor when Im trying to adapt to handling 4 pts...Im worried about the dropped pill and I feel bad about the mistake with the waste...I just want feedback and ...not going to lie...some comfort if possible...I really beat myself up over things like this and I know neither thing will happen AGAIN...I know I have to look at it as learning...but I still feel crappy about it. learning and remembering everything in a fast pace environment like this is challenging for me..but I know those two things wont happen again.

wow I felt like I was reading a post from myself when I saw this. I just started on a med surg floor, and feel every exact thing you mentioned. On top of all of the things mentioned, my assigned preceptor didnt work out so that has already kind of jaded the first week. I've heard to try to stay 6 months to a year...at this point I already want to start looking elsewhere after that 6-8 month mark and look for something like you've mentioned (clinic, etc.) I feel that med surg stretches you too thin, I want to put time and energy into each patient but that environment doesnt really allow that time. I just dont know if I'll really like it already. I know every job has + and - but I overall want to enjoy what I do while keeping my sanity and health in mind, you only live once!

Thank you for the replies, Im sorry to anyone who thought I sounded disrespectful or that I was overreacting with regards to my preceptor..I in no way meant to sound like that...I just felt upset. And I really didnt have a shadow day to those of you saying there should only be one...the first day I was doing skills, procedures, documenting etc., second day the same, and third, and tonight. By "shadow" I guess I meant going around with her and doing the whole assignment TOGETHER, so I could get a feel for how things ran, how she communicated certain things to patients (regarding surgery, etc. because hey, I've never been on a surgical floor before!), etc...THAT I did not get with her which was a bad start. I love getting in there and doing things, like tonight I contacted the surgical PA regarding a post op patient, was terrified of calling providers but it was not bad, I jumped in and did it, and the nurse with me said what to have in front of me, etc. as I did so. The botton line was I just felt that I wasnt meshing with my original preceptor...this has nothing to do with her ability as a nurse and I know in hindsight she was trying to get me out there...but the ways she went about communicating with me about it were the things that upset me..the multiple comments about being slow and how youre behind, how its an easy assignment (which is her saying you shouldnt be stressed right now), and the infamous "why are you breathing like that?" after I sighed which was just...weird., etc...sure I understand if it was the 3rd week when I should be more autonomous and she was saying these things to help me tweak them for my own benefit...but she was just saying them to...I dont even know...scare me? I just thought on the first day and 3rd day that her making remarks like that were just setting me up for a bad experience...a new grad is slow, unsure of his/herself, and uses extra time for things...normal? yes...but I didn't feel like it was ever acceptable with her...and that upset me because it was only the first couple of days. She is a great nurse and has alot of insight and experience and I respect her for that, but I just didnt feel comfortable with her. I didnt feel that I was getting as much out of it as I shouldve been and that's what the most important thing about this whole issue is...because I want to be prepared to care for patients safely. As for the meeting today it went well. I said how I just wasnt meshing and in no way was it personal, named a few examples that bothered me and said it'd be best if I could work with someone else. They were glad that I had brought it to their attention as soon as I did. One of them said she wouldve been unhappy if I had waited longer since that would ultimately take away from valuable training time and told me it took balls to step up and say something. They also said it was going on in the floor next door so I shouldnt feel that it doesnt happen to anyone else. They put me with who was available today which went well and I am starting to train with someone else later this week. I know some of you said she meant well and was trying to help me but without a solid day of going with her with her whole assignment for at least one day...it negatively affected the following days...who knows maybe if she had given me a day to acclimate but still participate with her whole assignment for a whole shift I wouldnt feel uncomfortable about taking on 3 patients so soon (which she gave me...on my third day). And I never got any positive feedback which also upset me...at least a good job on the third night after trying with multiple patients wouldve been nice...Im not saying every little thing needs to be celebrated and told "good job"...but once and a while would be nice...I was just hearing negative and that was contributing to tearing me down on top of everything else going on. I just had to do what was right for me because on the nights I have not been with her, I feel better about the shifts, I did things independently tonight but had the support I needed...I feel that when you have a good support behind you and you feel comfortable approaching him/her...you will be more prone to WANT to act independently, and that is what I want, what every new grad wants. edit: I had tried telling her I would like to go with her for a day or half a day, maybe because she made me feel so uncomfortable I didnt say it as clearly but I did try to approach her about the issue..but it didnt change anything.

Thanks everyone, already woke up crying knowing that I have to work with her again. My manager replied to my email and said we can meet as soon as she gets back but in the mean time to contact the other woman filling in if my concerns are immediate, which they are. I am calling the other woman soon, when I can pull myself together, and ask to schedule a private meeting with her for maybe even today. I just feel I cant go in today, I feel like I'd rather die than go in and work with her again, I feel like I would feel so happy if I just said I quit (even though shed be happy about that but I dont even care). I feel slow, stupid, and incompetent around her. I make a bunch of mistakes and just feel Ill never get this if I stay with her. I would love to work with the other nurse I had but Ill take anyone else, ANYONE at this point. put me on a different shift even, I dont care just get me the hell out of there. This whole experience of starting work is scary already for a new grad like me and its the "cherry on top" *sarcasm* that I have to work with someone like this...I just know that whatever happens, I am not working with her for the whole period of training...hopefully by this week after speaking with the supervisor on hand, something can be worked out or I seriously feel like calling in sick if they need me to stay with her for a little longer before someone else is given to me. I already had doubts about nursing and they increase ten fold with every day I have to do this with this girl....thank you for you kind words and support, please pray that this meeting today goes well and that it can be fixed within the week or even today.

I hear you miller but I already tried asking her if I could just go along with her for the later part of the shift and she said no I want you to have patients, we can try that tomorrow, and you already did that the first day (which is a lie)...even if she did accomodate to me I still just flat out dont feel comfortable with her...I have to go on my gut with this one..sorry

thank you for the adivce...it helps when I get input from fellow nurses. there is a nurse supervisor to contact while my manager is out...I guess I should talk to her...its funny because I even asked my not so great preceptor tonight where her office was and she said "why do you need to see her?" I smoothly said I needed to get a key for access to nurse servers on the floor and to ask about paperwork, Im sure this girl knew something was up and that she better get ready to stop me. I did just email my manager though saying I have concerns that I want to discuss with her as soon as possible (sorry youre on vaca but you need to know!). How should I start that discussion though? Do I walk in saying "my orientation isnt going so smoothly and I have concerns about the preceptor I am working with" and go from there? I mean how do I say it without throwing the bad preceptor under the bus...but at the same time I need to make my concerns known..either way I cant work with her-thats the bottom line.

I just started my orientation on a med surg floor (have only had 3 days on the floor with a nurse)...first night I was holding back tears the entire night and when I finally got to my car, cried hysterically the whole way home. Right off the bat, the first night with my preceptor, I was completely overwhelmed. She didnt say "okay tonight just come around with me and watch"...no it was doing assessment and I stood there documenting them while she did other things while Im feeling annoyed because Im not seeing how a typical day goes and how to organize and prioritize..then she says okay you can take patients 18, 10, 12 and Im like ...uhh take them? she says Ill be with you to do things but you have them, or something along those lines...NOTE:THAT WAS MY FIRST DAY! I came home hating my life, I felt like quitting on the spot, I even went to an immediate care clinic near me and got an application. night 2: I was with another nurse because my assigned nurse preceptor had worked a double the night before....TOTALLY different! She ASKED me do you want to have patients or follow along with me? I said follow along with you! I had so badly just wanted to see how everything goes on my FIRST DAY..the second day was great, I did alot with the nurse and felt good about it and left NOT crying...Tonight was day 3: with my assigned preceptor again, hated it. She made me feel uncomfortable, when I tried to ask if I can just shadow you while doing things with you she said no I would prefer you to have patients and you basically saw what I did the first night (HELLO no I didnt, I felt disconnected from you the first night and you had asked me to take patients)...now im not a very confrontational person and she makes me feel uncomfortable as it is so I just had to go along with it. I mean she was there with me but she was still doing other things with her other patients while I was left to do things I may not have been sure of or when I wanted to ask questions. I dont like having done something then having her correct it AFTER, I want someone there with me showing me as I go along...thats how I will retain it. When we sat down to document nurses notes I let out a sigh and she said "why are you breathing like that? This is an easy assignment" I couldnt believe it...she had the gall to ask me why I was breathing a certain way???? what is going on? and I am new, ergo I am slow, I am uncertain of myself, I am frustrated so I sigh alot that night...she definitely makes it a point to pressure me with the time limit, eg. you just spent 40 minutes on our easiest patient, it's my 3rd day! In school clinicals we only had 1 to 2 patients we could spend alot of time with so of course Ive never had a true med surg experience (organizing, prioritizing, going fast). She had even dropped comments like that the FIRST NIGHT when I was so nervous and overwhelmed about how you have to go quickly...tonight was the last straw for me....what it boils down to is that my preceptor is soooo not the right fit for me that it's not even funny...the second night with the other nurse, I liked it! I want to work with her...and if they say I have no other option but to work with the original preceptor, I am saying tough luck but I am not working with someone I dont feel comfortable with...because ultimately I want my patients to be safe and if I am upset, annoyed, not as confident, NEW, and less experienced...those all could cause errors that I dont want to have happen to innocent patients. I just feel lost, I feel that I dont get the information I need about my patients because there is so much going on and I dont feel that I am being instructed properly. I am emailing my manager, who is out until the 2nd of august of course, just my luck, and telling her I have concerns that I need to discuss with her as soon as possible. I just know in my gut that I cant work with this girl...I cant work weeks and weeks with her and I feel that I cant learn from her with the "style" she uses...I just need to vent and ask...would you do the same as me? would you go to your manager right away and ask about switching preceptors? I dont want to waste training time and frankly I dont think I could go on like this without either breaking down in the hallway sometime or another or just flat out quitting.

Thanks for your input....it's not that I "like" the other one better than my assigned one, I just feel more comfortable with her and feel we work in similar ways. I wouldnt walk into my managers office saying "I cant work with .... because", I agree that that probably wouldnt be the best thing but I do want to let my manager know that maybe one is a better fit than the other, and isnt that okay? I mean not every match up is going to work, just as people sometimes have multiple partners before they find "the one" (sorry for the corny analogy). For all I know the manager could just tell the original preceptor that due to scheduling conflicts I have to switch to a different one. I dont want the original one to dislike me after it but I dont really care if she does either. I came there to care for patients and in order to do that I need to feel as confident and comfortable as possible when Im off orientation, so before that day comes I need to be as prepared as possible ergo I think working with the other woman would be better for me and ultimately for the people I care for. Just my honest opinion. I already got upset this morning knowing that I have to work with my original preceptor today. I will flat out say can I just shadow you and go around with you to see how a day goes? If she gives me crap and says no or whatever Im meeting with my manager. Ill talk with the manager and approach it like you said, ("saturday night went much better, etc. etc.) but if she asks me reasons I will say I just feel more comfortable and that we're a better fit and that in no way I dont like so and so but I just feel that I mesh better with the other one. anyways I want to see how tonight goes and if its not as good as last night or I just know shes not for me Im talking with my manager this week. This is already hard for me and I cant make it any harder by staying and training with someone I just dont fit with.

thanks everyone for your replies. I actually worked with another nurse tonight as my assigned nurse was not working and I actually had a good night! To answer some of you wondering what I meant- I have just started my orientation period on the floor. I had the whole classroom, computer crap for a week and a half then this past thursday I worked with the CNA on the floor for my first night on the floor, then friday (my birthday nonetheless) was the really crappy day that I described in the OP then tonight my third night with another nurse actually went very well! I'll have 6 weeks on the floor, more if I need it. Now this nurse tonite ASKED me when I got there "do you want to "have (I dont really get what this entails?)" two patients or do you want to follow with me?" and I said with you! so we went through a typical day...I did dressing changes and assessments with her by my side, we pulled and gave meds and we charted together which I had so badly just wanted to do MY FIRST NIGHT! I just felt disconnected from the not so good preceptor and that she wasnt going through explaining much (HELLOOO IM NEW AND DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS FLOOR) for example, the nice nurse tonight when through what she puts in her progress notes and I watched as she typed them, the bad nurse did hers while I watched and said at one point or another "youll have to learn to use abbreviations so you can do it quicker" and something else that just made me feel pressured, the bad nurse made subtle hints throughout the shift how you have to move quickly, etc. and its like Oh my God I just started here, im slow, im inexperienced, Im nervous as HELL and you have the gall to make me feel crappy about how we have to move quickly because we're behind? Also I am not confident with charting, I am unsure of what terms to use because, HEY this is a legal document and I dont want to screw it up, and asking her little questions about what to put made me feel weird because she wanted to get across that some of the things arent so important to get just right or include...Already I can tell that the nurse from the other night is not a good fit for me, she basically just scared the sh** out of me while the nurse tonight, a more mature, older nurse was more my style. NOW the dilemma is that hopefully I can work it out that I can switch my nurse preceptor. I really think that balling my freakin eyes out after the night with the not so great preceptor my first night as opposed to coming home in a good mood the second night after working with a different nurse is a good sign that the root of the majority of my issues is that I need the support that I feel more comfortable with. I just worry that A) the good nurse currently has a nursing student intern (going into her senior yr this fall) working with her so I dont know if maybe due to priority (which is me! sorry intern) that the intern would be switched to following someone else or if I would have to wait to precept with the nurse (luckily the internship is over soon) B) that the not so good nurse is going to take it personally and be a total ***** to me from here on out (she strikes me as the type who would maybe do that, but I wouldnt give a crap because...hey Im looking out for myself here) and C) that my manager (she is very nice) would say "well lets talk with "not so good nurse" and try to work it out" which frankly is just a waste of my time because you can't just change the way someone precepts on a dime. I am working with the not so good one tomorrow and I am using this as the experimental shift...if I leave after the shift feeling crappy, overwhelmed, or that its not working...Im emailing my manager tomorrow night after that shift and asking if I could meet with her privately to discuss switching preceptors. do you all think that is an okay move? I dont want to wait it out and waste my valuable training time to "wait and see" if this chick is going to be okay after all because frankly, going on my gut, I dont see myself feeling comfortable with her for the next 6 weeks. Would you all do the same and contact and talk with your manager asap? how should I explain it to her? I know millions of new grads have switched preceptors but I just want it to be quick and painless. Im jealous because two other new grads on the floor have better preceptors, judging on the vibes I got from them...I got stuck with the young, kind of ****** one and that ain't cool with me. This one I worked with tonight was very nice, made sure I felt comfortable with doing things, and stuck by me if I was uncomfortable or had questions...the other girl was...i cant even describe because that night was such a blur....I cant tell you how many times I held back tears that night and how crazy I sounded crying in the car...should that be mentioned to my manager? again Im not trying to throw the young girl under the bus but I need to get across that she's not my match. anyways just glad to be home tonight and not crying...any suggestions on how I should go about this with my manager would be greatly appreciated...thanks girls/guys :)

Thanks for your replies. I am just so anxious and upset about it that it's hard for me to go in with an open mind about needing time to adjust. I'm working again 3-11 tonight and Im already crying because I dont want to go! I don't know why I get so upset but it just comes in waves and I can't help it. I think im just going to ask straight out, "can I just follow you this whole shift and see how you do it?" because I dont think it helped when the first night I wasn't able to do that with my nurse. I dont want to suffer through orientation only to have it end and either a) quit or b) get let go because I just didn't "get it." My manager is very nice so I'm sure she'll be tracking my progress and be asking me directly how I'm doing...if I have issues I'll be honest with her. I already grabbed an application to an immediate care facility because I'm just in that mental state where Im thinking its not going to work out...I dont know, this is just very difficult for me to handle. I'm sorry if I sound like a huge baby.