Hello cutecat, This for you must be very trying. I just wanted to say One thing.... consider adoption... You may wonder why I say that... well I would love to be in your place.... Many of us can not have a baby... would love to have a child and are not able...the adoption process for most couple looking to adopt is a long one due to abortion. I have cried myself to sleep many nights wanting to be a mom. God has many plans for us some we like some we don't. I will pray for you tonight and wish you many good thoughts.....beaniesbuddy