serene992

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him stop drinking or start drinking if he does not want to.

I adopted the name Serene in 1991 while attending Codependents Anonymous, trying to find myself and heal the horrendous inner wounds and the destroyed spirit from a decade of marriage to an abuser. I had gone to several counselors of varying degrees over the years trying to fix myself and fix my mate. The denial of the events occuring in my life including the fear and the desperate need for love were numbed by my pain killer - alcohol. After getting out of the marriage and still alive physically, I spent lots of money of further codependency therapy. I'd attend group sessions trying to heal the hole in my soul and the memories and then go home and have a drink or 2 to numb myself into sleep. Alcohol became my best and only friend. It allowed me to maintain and heal the wounds - or so I thought. I do not know the day I crossed the line and my pain reliever became my pain killer. But that line was crossed. All of the high priced therapists never picked up on the fact that I was using and abusing alcohol. I knew of the main AA meeting place in town because my ex rebuilt it after a fire a few years before. I had thought of going there to a meeting but No Way would I want anyone to see this proud professional RN going into a place like THAT! I was lucky that I had not gone to a meeting when the thought first began seeping in. Instead I waited and drank and numbed some more. September 24, 1992 I was spiritually dead with a hole straight through my chest that I thought was visible to the world, with the wind rushing through it. All of that false pride went out the window as a gift of desperation led me to opening that door to my first AA meeting rather than taking my life. Slowly but surely the gorilla on my back that kept my shamed head looking at the ground began to leave due to the unconditional love and acceptance I felt in those rooms. I no longer care who sees me go into a room of alcoholics. I have no dirty secrets that I worked hard to hide from the world. For the first time in 4 decades they taught me to love and honor myself.I have been rescued by a life raft twice in my life. Once was in 1980 after a boating accident in which my husband and 6 year old son died. The second life raft that saved my life was the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I am eternally greatful for living happy joyous and free today. Thank you Bill W. and Dr. Bob and thank you everyone that continues the basics of AA so that the program will be there when my son is ready to learn to live one day at a time rather than die piece by piece, drink by drink. It is not how much you drank or what you drank it's what happens to you when you drank. I love life, I love AA and I love being a nurse. The spiritual gifts I received through the program have given me all I ever wanted -serenity.

AA is a simple program for complicated people. An alcoholic is a master at denial, control and manipulation, negative tools used to justify the continually descending pattern of deterioration of the disease of alcoholism. The program began it's success by helping 1 then 2 then on and on of what is called low bottom drunks back in the 1930s. Faced with imminent despair and their near to death consequences of their alcoholism they found the first of the basic reasons why the program works - unconditional love and acceptance from a peer. One of the most powerful tools of recovery from anything including the loss of a child, recovery from a mastectomy and overcoming the effects of incest/sexual abuse as a child is to be in a safe, accepting and nurturing environment where one can share one's honest feelings with others who know exactly how one feels. Out of the meeting of 2 alcoholics filled with despair at their inability to stop killing themselves one moment at a time evolved a major discovery of the basis of all support groups today. When young men and women join a military service they all go through a grueling physical, emotional and spiritual indoctrination to called boot camp. I believe the purpose of it is to quickly get the recruits into shape as an individual and as part of a unit, indoctrinating them with the rules, regulations and survival skills they may someday need in the performance of their jobs in the military. A rapid brain washing of individualization is replaced with the basic thinking necessary to survive and thrive as a unit. When they are dug in to a foxhole in a war zone and are being fired upon from all directions is the recruit going to take back his own way of thinking premilitary to problem solve how he/she should act now? No they are going to respond using the tools implanted in basic training. AA is basic training for the alcoholic - period. It's whole purpose is to provide the tools necessary for that moment when the alcoholics disease rears it's ugly head and demands another drink. Helping one another get, stay and live sober one day at a time is the purpose of the AA program from it's beginning. Foxhole tools for sobriety evolve through attendance at AA meetings and through reading AA literature. There are thousands upon thousands of alcoholics in remote areas that are recovering from their disease through correspondence courses with other recovering alcoholics and by reading the AA literature. As far as protecting my license, I would go to whatever steps necessary to protect it. Even if you felt that you were falsely accused, there are some authorities in our lives that have the power we do not. Find out what they want and do it -period. Along the way sit back, relax, have a cup a coffee with the members and learn what recovery is all about. If you are not an alcoholic - great. You are a nurse and attendance at and learning from the program is a free gift to learn tools of supporting your patients, family and friends who are affected by the disease of alcoholism. Just remember to only attend "Open" meetings of AA. "Closed" meetings are meant for only those people who admit they cannot stay sober and want to learn how to do it. How do you know what is an "open" and a "closed" meeting? Ask. If it is closed then leave. Many areas have places called an Intergroup that has members of AA available to help guide you to a meeting and/or contact. Every phone book has AA listed with a phone number. Wasn't it Shakespear that said "Me thinks you protesteth too much"?

No offense but what is the point of this book other than negativism? Does the author have an alternative for helping those suffering alcoholics/addicts achieve a sober, happy and healthy life? There are two kinds of people in this world - those that see the glass as half full and those that see it as half empty. I for one feel as if I am being chocked to death when surrounded by negativity that abounds from the glass half empty theorists/people.As I said what is Stanton Peele's point?

Alcoholics Anonymous is a spiritual program for people who have been in Hell and find a way out through working the 12 steps of the program. Religion is for people who are afraid of going to Hell whether they choose to practice it 24/7 or for one hour a week. The concept of the Higher Power in the program is the beginning of the healing process and the important key to living one day at a time, one moment at a time without using a mind altering substance. The original AA program has been acknowledged for being one of the most significant developments of the 20th century. From this simple program hundreds of other 12 step programs have developed. The many different addictions that have plagued man since the beginning of time finally have a simple, fool proof support group with a far better recovery and relapse prevention record than professional, high priced therapy programs. Countless lives of those addicted to mind altering substances/behaviors and those affected by loving them have a way of living joyous and free thanks to a group of alcoholic men and women who created the AA program. The court systems frequently sentence people with DUI's and drug convictions to attend AA meetings. This is a controversial issue also. By mandating attendance it does not mean that the person is going to identufy and admit to being an alcoholic/addict. What it does do is expose them to the presence of AA so that if and when the drinking/drugging leads to that moment in time when the person is on the brink of physical, emotional and/or spiritual death he/she might remember the AA meetings they attended and reach out for help. I feel that all nurses need exposure to the AA program to get an understanding of it's concepts. We are in intimate contact with the ravishes of the disease through our patients, families and yes folks even our peers. We are an important key in helping others learn the joy of living a sober life through knowing about what AA and it's 12 steps are about and where meetings are held in our communities. Let's be leaders of compassionate caring for those whose lives are a living hell due to alcoholism and addiction.

You are absolutely right but I am afraid we still have a long way to go in improving the understanding of what a nurse really is to the general public. Never mind the advanced degrees attainable in our profession. I have been an RN for 35 years and am working on my BSN now. Only through my reentry to the educational fields available for nurses am I even learning what all of those initials are after many nurses's names. If it is confusing for a nurse to determine what the educational accomplishments are of our nursing leaders then can you imagine what the general public thinks?On a side note, I think our image is being tarnished by all of the people adopting the catch phrase name "Nurse". As a home health nurse I find it difficult to get past the "Nurse" in the doctor's office to communicate a problem with a patient. The "Nurse" in the office oftentimes is a young high school graduate without any additional education but passes herself off as Dr. Smith's "Nurse". I still haven't determined how to get past her and communicate one on one with the physician. I have called for a blood sugar over 500 only to be able to ask the "Nurse" to have the physician call back. Instead I will get a message the next day such as "Mr. Jones can continue his antibiotic". We need to be more prolific in our letter writing to the media and to educate the public what an RN or LPN really is. Hugs, Carol

I do not work the night shift for the differential at my present job which is doing private duty for a ventilated child. I work it for the convenience of my schedule to allow me to be in college working on my BSN. However I can respond to the night shift differential issue from the voice of experience. There have been many times over my 35 years of experience that I did work nights. Those times were when I was married and now that my children are independent (and trust worthy). I have been a single parent for several different spaces/periods of my parenthood. A single parent cannot work nights while their children are young unless they ahve a very supportive family network. Forcing single parents to work their fair share of nights is next to impossible. They need childcare while they are at work (try finding it overnight!) as well as care during the day so that they can sleep. It is cost prohibitive if it is even doable.I firmly believe that those working the night shift should receive an excellent differential. Studies have been done showing the damage it does to our bodies. The circadian cloack is totally messed with when flipping back and forth between days and nights. When I work my shifts, I do them all in a row so that my body flip flops my clock. I cannot do one on one off etc. The first "day off" I have after my series of night shifts is really a sleep day. Nothing gets accomplished that day or night. When I worked at the hospital in town for many years they had an extremely attractive differential that made a lot of nurses opt for working nights for the added money. I believe night differectial was 10-15% of your salary Mon- Fri at 7PM. Weekend differential was 25% of your salary Fri-Mon AM. I cannot imagine how facilities think it is beneficial to force staff to alternate/rotate shifts. That is not going to attract and retain qualified and dedicated nurses to the facility. I would imagine there is a high turnover rate there. How does that benefit and effect quality of care?

As a group of caring professionals, I feel that caring needs to begin within and demonstrated to our own peers first. I believe we need to support, encourage and lovingly lead by example to promote a sense of unity rather than division within our profession. To improve the care of patients and our health care system we need to be unified and respected as nurses, beginning first to practice that with each other. Hugs, Carol