NeedAdvice1234

BINGO!!! thats what i wanted to know....HOW IS LIFE LIKE BEING MARRIED TO A NURSE!! thats exactly what I wanted to know!! aside from the pinpoited questions of my own fears...THANK YOU FOR TRULY UNDERSTANDING MY QUESTION...which is not hard as long as you take it face value and not try to read into it....Thats what you did.. AWESOME... so family time and alone time is important to you... its importnat to me and her as well.... OK now your going to get a bunch of questions LOL. I also think maybe her nursing school is depressing me... its something i can't confort her on.. she was pretty depressed last semester..and there was no affection between us... we didn't go out she didn't want to....No emotion.... no nothing.... I tried the best i could to break her free from her depression but it just got worse.... I cooked her huge italina meals... bought her little no material gifts... offered to do shopping and her clothes while she took a nap I was there 100% but nursing school overcame it all...ITS NICE TO KNOW there is an end to all this stuff She wants ER...but is afraid she might not be able to mentally handle it. Thats why she thinks OR might be her thing or even forensics. (sp) She loves the inside of a body but can't take say a mother crying and pleading to not let her little boy die because of drunk driver. 1. what does hubby do for living 2. How do you handle the holidyas with the 4 year old when u need to work them 3. Why do you consider it stressfull...is it any more or less stressful if you were in anothe professions or u just saying marriage itself is stressful? 4. What made u go into nursing? 5. Why do you love it so much...would you love it as much if say if you were in Er or Peds or Burn unit? 6. What is you schdule like?? is it one of those 7-7 3 days on 4 days off everyone is talking about? OHHHHHH boy I am excited.... Your the one i been waiting for to answer all those frightful questions.....

No she didn't drop out... She said she would just to keep me in her life...I IMMEDIATLY TOLD HER NO... do nothing for me... take care of you. Thats where alot of this posting comes from....I have no rite to tell her to not follow her dreams I have no rite to get in the way of her life...but I do have every rite to question my life with based on what she wants... I want to reach a common goal.. She seems to have alot of the same ideas in her thoughts as I do. But if she didn't then wouldn't we be incompatable anyway? I been trying to write a novel...probally doesn't show in this forum because i type out fast and furious...hopefully it will sell and maybe I can get a book deal and then their wouldn't be any problems with finding the quality time to spend with my wife. She would be able to take any schdule she wants too and considering I make my own hours on when to write... then there would be no clash.... The diseases thing seems to be resolved in my head... learning from everyone one of you...YES YOU TOO STICHIE..... seemed to quiet those fears rather nicely. Point of this discussion is to get some real insight from people who actually work as nurses who have lives... Rotation work and the life of a nurse cannot compare to that of say a lawyer... Nurses are in demand and health doesn't stop because its a holiday or a weekend.... However, I didin't want to find out that health and working as a nurse would dictate my entire life either.. People find the ones they want to spend the rest of their lives with...but don't want to be chained to that person...their is always a give and take.... but if nursing is really that demanding my fears would be i would be giving a lot with hardly any left overs but the tired or quiet and closed person..How does one grow without affection or life... Like I said... its hard to know anything about nursing when all you know comes from movies and TV... You see drs running to the hospital because of emerency or babies...you see people frantic in ER and Trama shows...I thought if their is sooo much of that to make 500 diffrent shows about it some of it might be true...And that is scary.. Don't you agree????

well YEAH!!! thats what i am trying to do..be supportive and first i got to squash all the myths i have in my head about the bad stuff of nursing...in reality I am trying to be the best support she has...she lost everyone during her schooling! How can i support something i have no clue on.... at least people liek you are offering some good insgiht here.. there are others YOU KNOW WHO U ARE that have been helpful in getting me to where i need to be to support her

Thank you for that.... actually i have discussed this issue with my girl over the past weekend.... I tried to listen to her...but it was hard to take her advice since see is so new... Kinda like if you go to a mechanic and says i was trained to fix your car just never fix a car yet.... You think he knows what he is talking about but you feel more confortable asking someone who has been in the profession awhile....funny thing is.... alot of what she told me is exactly what the GOOD NICE PEOPLE WHO CARE IN HERE.. have told me... you being one of the good ones... She is all for the postings I made because she wants to know what she should look out for before she makes any mistakes.. like getting locked into a rotation she never thought was possible or getting gipt on pay rates.

Anywho, you came here, I REPEAT, to get some insight into what makes a marriage work. OK #1 lets see if we can understand. I will go slow... IIII Neverrrrrrr Askedddd Anyoneeeee Howwwww Toooo Makeeee Aaaaa Marriageeeee Workkkk!!! I asked for insights to the nursing profession. To clear up some outright fears of mine...and to see if there is anything I should worry about in nursing that either me or my girl have not come across...For example... Health coverage may be better if she was under my plan or mine under hers because blah blah blah....NOTTTT ASKINGE ABOUT HEALTH COVERAGE ITS HYPOTHETICAL!!! Ok I will allow you to take a break to review that point...make sure you understand it...because everything I been talking about u took left field approaches too... I'll wait OK were back .....no not over there over here If you live to be 150 you will never understand what it means to be a nurse, or how hard we work. We WORK, day in and day out! You obviously have no clue whatsoever what a nurses role is, but then you may just get your ideas of nursing from "All My Children". Once again a nice contradiction and personal attack I take it??? You tell me your hubby understand you and reads you like a book... well then he has some idea about what you do.... I'm sorry but FOR THE RECORD I could not do what a nurse does it takes a special person to deal with that stuff day in and day out....but tell me.... do you think you can understand my JOB??? Probally not...Not a fair statement to make when the same applies to you!! Ok I will allow you yet another break to review that point Well, we've all been trying, and you aren't hearing what you want to hear, apparently. My husband said that you just don't get it; you'll end up eating by yourself, and that you aren't marrying a maid. Fetching dinner is preferable to eating alone. Noooooooo your not trying .... your telling me that i am a bad guy and how i want to controll my wife and marry a maid!!! Find one post of mine that I state that...go ahead anywhere... find it...... try harder...Oh wait I never said or implied that!!! I thought details were apart of your JOB!!! I guess not... I suggest you read my origanl post one more time..and have hubby help you get through the tough words.!!! Like when you are in Triage (look it up; I'm not going to bother explaining it to you) No explination necessary.... I went to college! ITS NOT A MEDICAL TERM!! It means to sort out by importance... its a word however most commonly used in medical fields!! and yes I do know how it applies. because you would be bugging the out of me for stupid stuff like when is my room going to be ready...blah blah blah and interfering with my job. But then again you're obviously much too thick to understand the subtleties of nursing, this profession, and especially what it means to work ER. I guess you're "above" all that. Lets see.... is this another attack on my personality from a oringal post you can read by yourself? I think soo..... trust me I am afriad to be under your care....... especially since you don't seem to know what the hell your talking about half the time. As for "seeing what your future holds", I see frozen dinners. Lots and lots of frozen dinners. Or maybe living with your parents for a long, long time. Another great assumption based on no facts... Fact of the matter is...I cook for my girl now..make her meals for work and yes make dinner for the nights she has classes... I WORKED IN A ITALIAN RESTURNAT TIL I WAS 20 I'll say it again, grow up. Please don't marry this girl while you are so freaked out over minutiae. Give it 5, 10, 15 years. Bukko may be right. Minutiae--- thats a big old college word... Now where did u learn that??? Get a job, Got one....if u could read I stated exactly where I work and What I do!! another degree, go to college or grad school. All three obtained thanks! Be less dependent upon the opinions of others and quit freaking at those who are trying to give you the help you so desperately need ***Broken record playing in the background** God how the hell did u get through nursing school when you lack reading skills... ONCE AGAIN........I ASKED FOR INSIGHT ON HOW NURSES HANDLE EVERYDAY LIFE WITH THEIR SCHDULES.... You offered points on how i am screwed up for not being supportive. It sounds to me like your apart of a very large womans liberal group that bashes men..........You have this idea stuck in your skull on how i want to prevent my wife from being a nurse and how i want suzy homemaker yadda yadda yadda.... You would be surprised how Independent I really am!!!! More independent then you... cuz I got noone cooking me dinners rubbing my feet or offering me beers when i get home...I DO THAT FOR HER>.... why?? BECAUSE I AM SUPPORTIVE you must be a blonde !

Exactly!!!! When I said pitfalls...I ment the stuff maybe i didn't think of like i dunno.. ummmm say every x-mas the husbands are required to play santa clause or something... i don't want to make the pitfalls a big issue since certain people in here don't understand the english language! But YESSSSSSSSSS all i wanted to know is what I asked....Thank you for being the first one to realize there is no hidden meanings...

I just don't get it how the hell do I start off asking straight forward questions... then I get socially anaylized about who i really am...All of you must have had some type of concerns or some fights with your S/O. However, does that make u warped and twisted??? Why can half the people on here actually offer such great advice and insight while others seem to just want to go off topic and pick me apart.... I thought nursing tells u to pay attention to detail...and if necessary make other assumptions... your assumptions on who I am are not REPATE are not necessary for a posting with straight forward answers... If a guy comes in with a broken arm are you going to cast up his entrie body??? Some of you I am sure you will... No wonder why there are soooo many people who go into surgery but come out loosing a toe or something.... I can see it now.. Dr, Pateint is needs to have surgery on his left leg... lets just chopp off the ear while we are at it... make his body symetrical! Begging to realize these accidents are not the doctors fault

Again I don't understand what 1 posting has to do with my entrie relationship....Tell you what... why don't u tell me what a healthy relatinship is. This picture in your head of a quiet evening at the dinner table discussing your day is unrealistic How can u say this is unrealitic??? everyone i know who is married be it 3 years or 30 years of marriage have this. You came here for advice and have gotten some good stuff-did you know that we nurses learn some psychology,too?.... Actually YES I DID... However they don't learn it very well..A few classes and everyone is trying to analyze me and lable me as a bad BF and realtionship retarted.... Wrong AGIN...

Well sharon first off you state - To label us as "not being willing to help the healthy" is unfair. I labled no such terms what I said was when i try to talk to the nurses about their jobs the elevator opens and they have to run off to people who really need help rather then trying to explin to me..someone just going off to work lunch or home about what they do... DON"T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH I demonize those people who look at the people and think...There crazy and make fun of their situations... And try to avoid the entire topic at hand and go off labeling me as some sort of freak... Maybe the real reason people like you wanna bash me is because I am making sure about what my future holds... To the point where it will not matter about drawing baths or fetching dinner or sitting their quiet because poor baby had a rough day.... Maybe what I want is to find the person who I come home to and just enjoy them... and makes the rest of the day dissapear. If you have such issues with me and my postings THEN DON"T RESPOND...leave it to the people who are taking time to see where i am comming from and not trying to brush me off....... Here u wish i never show up in your ER...but then u try to tell how great it is to help someone.... contradictions all over....Next time read my postings word by word and slowly.. and realize I am not bashing the nurse professions

True horror is better then happy go lucky....but come on these a pretty bad horrors... I mean reconstructive sugery.. fatal needle stabs... i hear new ones in the elevator everyday.. Weird stuff too.. like how many drug addicts come in looking for needles and fight with everyone but you can't fight back....Not because you don't want to...but because you don't want to treat them after you kick their butts.... I mean scary stuff here make me unconfortable that the one person i care about might have to deal with this stuff on a constent basis.... one gun, one stick, one crazy guy could end that but everyone here tells me their is alot of securtiy in the area she wants to work in... so thats a postiive that shut those fears up

I work in the upper floors of the hospital in the university admin areas. It all connects to be about 7 blocks wide and long..if you knew where the hospital part was comapred to where I am... you would consider me way out of the way

My biggest fear... ehh nevermind...

I work in the corporate offices on the 20th floors... the main hospital is located basement to 4th floor..I have no interaction with hospital workers.. I only help out the university employees of Columbia Univeristy Medical Center. So I have a physical location at the hopsital however, I do not work for the hospital. I see patients in the lobby and doctors when the elevators stop on certain floors.. they are always talking about some scary ****..Like so and so got stuck with a needle and it might be fatal or so and so got punched in the face by a pateietn and now she needs reconstructive surgery... Thats really what got me thinking. I have tried to find people to talk to me about it that work here..but noone cares to help the healthy i guess..and rightfully so...who am i to try to have them answer my questions when someone needs meds or real comfort

OK moondancer lets revisite your comments here--- You state, "You, not you and your fiancee, but you, need to seek some professional counselling. It is clear you have issues, issues with women, issues with trust, issues with relationships." How is this clear..please provide examples if you are going to make this acusations.Do you honestly think if I had such issues I would be here trying to squash my fears or would I have broken off a long time ago? Your judging me based on one post of fear for something I don't know about. You state- You haven't read half the postings offerred to you. All you've done is picked up on a few "funny"/sarcastic comments. This couldn't be more of a false statement.. If you actually read everything I wrote I explined there were postings that indeed Help me.. People sent me facts to my mail box theat sheaded alot of light...However, If i get attacked because of something that is importnat to me...I'm not going to remian quiet and become the punching bag of the group...I expect you wouldn't either You state- It sounds like you want reassurance and someone to tell you "everything is gonna be OK"...guess what, no one can tell you that, because not one of us knows what will happen in our lives. Don't confuse Reassurance with understainding.. I have stated time and time again I am trying to understand what a nurse does and I listed my concerns so people would know exactly why I want to understand..I thought it would help you see how someone who is not in medicine can be concerned..I don't belive anyone can tell me how my life is going to turn out...but if I wound up choosing to leave her... I would be considered the *** here...wouldn't I... even though life is unpredictable Suppose you two do actually progress and get married, and she does become a nurse. Suppose something did happen to her...an exposure or on the job injury? What would you do? Leave her? I'm not saying that any of that will/would happen, but it is possible, and you need to know that. But you know what? Injuries can happen anytime, anywhere. What if, God forbid, she were in some kind of accident, what then, are you gonna walk out on her because you weren't prepared for it? everyone has chocies in their lives..and if you don't look out for yourself who will??? This post was orignally started to find out what a nurses life is all about and if I can be able to match my life to her needs of her ocupation. Now if she told me that she was a hooker on the street should I not be considered about marrying her?? Or should I just brush it up to OH OK HUH be careful... How about if you saw a child maybe a child in your family waving around an unloaded gun...does that make it safe not to repremand him? Just because its not loaded doesn't mean it couldn't go off..But I am sure you wouldn't just chalk that up to...hey driving in a car kind of reaction your giving me.... If I feel that she is a great danger to my unborn child or me because of possible infections its my right to question if I can handle that... The fact is I was unclear and uncertain on how safe it really is in a ER atmosphere. If she did catch something would i leave her NO!!! but if you all told me there was a 99.9% chance of her getting a fatal or nasty disease.. well then I would probally walk away... Its easy to blast someone when u know more about a topic than they do... step out of your shoes and tell me what you would do If I was the one carrying your unborn child to and from work and my job was of extreme danger. THESE THINGS SHOUDN"T BE TAKEN LIGHTLY... however... i get criticized for taking them into consideration... My girl told me if i ever signed up for the Marines or a Cop she wouldn't marry me because of the consitent is he safe and will our children know their father concern....... how is this any diffrent? Only diffrece i see is that I became more educated on the profession from the people who took time to explin things to me rather then make fun of my situation... to those I am greatful for... i have worked these issues out almost completly i just have little questions that are non make or break. You State- You really do have issues,like I said..feelings of abandonment, I think this is maybe where a lot of this coming from.... Please seek some counseling for yourself, then perhaps the two of you together. I think you will find, that no matter what woman you end up,you will have these issues,until you recognize them and work on them. Because I posted one concern I need professional help?? Well then I think you need help to... I think you take offense to what a man has to say. it seems you hate men when they have concerns about their S/O. It seems that you have pent up hate against all men. You seem to judge them off the bat without trying to understand them... NOT REALLY FAIR TO BE JUDGE OFF ONE POST IS IT???