Adriane82

A heartfelt thank you for your comments and prayers. -Adriane

On Monday, July 8, 2018, the staff members of the emergency department in which I work were given devastating news. Our beloved coworker, a well-respected RN, adored by all who knew her, was involved in a major motor vehicle accident the night prior. She, together with two of her children, did not survive. I wrote this piece just two days after I heard the news, which was also my first day back at work since hearing the news. On this particular day, I was assigned to triage. As the first face the patients and visitors would see coming into the E.D., I felt especially vulnerable and on display. I was barely holding it together and wanted to write a piece that captured and explained my feelings, not only to help with my own process of healing from grief but hopefully help others too. As nurses, we often build up an inner fortress.In order to function in our roles, there is implicit and explicit pressure to remain strong for everyone else. Sometimes, inevitably, the fortress is breached and starts to crumble. We are then reminded in the harshest way possible that we are only human. I call this piece "I am not a robot!" It was written straight from my heart, the heart of a grieving E.D. nurse and is dedicated to the memory of Rebecca Bachman, BSN, RN. I lost it yesterday. Not once, but three times. I am an ugly crier. "There's no crying in triage!" I hear Tom Hanks's voice say in my head. I try to be kind to myself and utter again and again the phrase that appears before you submit an online form by ReCAPTCHA,® "I am not a robot!" "What a stupid mantra." Is it? I try and fail to keep myself from doing the inventory of loss but it's no use, here it goes again, the recap, no....! My aunt (mom's sister) in October, my dog two days after Thanksgiving, my grandfather (dad's father) on Christmas day, my cousin on Super Bowl Sunday. Each time the scab barely bubbles and hardens before it's ripped open again. Now Becky, God no, not Becky...and her two oldest children. I did not know Becky well outside of work but what I did know about her I found absolutely remarkable. As the youngins say, she was "Hashtag Goals." She was always polished in appearance, her hair was fabulous, she knew how to put an outfit together, she was doing the same job as me plus raising three kids and going to nurse practitioner school at the same time. I used to imitate Wayne and Garth and do the "[i'm] not worthy, [i'm]not worthy" thing when we worked together and she would laugh in that infectious Michigan accent. We were never worthy of her. I clutch the triage radio in my pocket and think that her angelic voice broadcast through it barely over a week ago. I grit my teeth and force my shoulders down and back for the millionth time. It works, thank God. I've managed to slam the floodgate just in time and hold back what I know will barrel through as soon as I'm home, the body-shaking sobs. I am not a robot. When I've been at work dealing with loss in my own family, there have been times when I've been tearful but thankfully away from most prying eyes. The med room, the staff bathroom, my boss's office. I've been able to have the non-robot moment and come back to my reality. The dry eyes of my coworkers pulling me back to the task at hand. This time it's different. All of us have lost the same family member, there are no dry eyes to look into right now. Yesterday as my coworkers came in at various hours for their shifts or meetings they were attending, they would stop at triage and we'd share a silent hug. "Lord, make us a suspension bridge!" "What!?" My inner dialogue chides me. "Why are you so weird?" Let me explain. Though we sway, eventually the tensile force finds its way up and through us, dissipating our collective sadness back into the Earth allowing us to stand with our strength. The strength to support our own massiveness as well as the weight of everyone else too. We are not there yet. It's going to take a very long time. We are not robots but we are a bridge in progress.

First semester clinical has mostly been about pre-planning, observation, and development of assessment skills. Other than that, we are not allowed to give detail about clinical experiences (such as which hospital we are assigned to, which unit we are on, etc.) due to strict HIPAA rules. Our epidemiology course this year is somewhat statistics based with a good bit of research and critical thinking thrown in the mix (statistical concepts yes, actual math type problems, no). However, the course professor changes year to year and next year I think I heard it was going to be a professor out of the biostats department and so a lot can change in regards to course content. We are fortunate that our professors this semester in our CNL program courses have provided us with good study guides to direct our studying efforts, it makes life much happier. As far as the tests themselves-they are preparing us for the NCLEX all along and so the style of questioning is new and takes getting used to.

I am pretty sure as long as your license is in good standing you can work in any state as an RN. Remember the school grants the degree (MSN), the license of RN is obtained from passing the NCLEX-RN and then some will choose to test for the CNL extra certification. Some states might require you register or go through some formal steps to "transfer" a license or whatever but it should not matter if you want to work in another state. Something to think about when considering BSN vs. MSN is that you are eligible to borrow much more $ in federal student loans as a graduate student than you are as a second bachelor's degree student, also the MSN is usually the minimum degree required to teach. If either of those are a concern for you I'd seriously consider the master's option. Just my 2 cents! If you give your post a little more time, some of the ATL commuters in my class may be able to offer their perspectives on how that has been for them.

Out of the 29 in our class this year in Athens, I would say we have atleast 6 or 7 who commute from the greater Atlanta area. Some of them have worked out carpools to cut down on individual driving. I am local so I won't speak to how much harder that makes life for those guys, but I do know they manage. We are not on campus every day and the faculty is understanding with placing the commuters in clinical groups that prevent them from having to come to Athens an extra day just to do pre-planning. This semester we are all in lecture all day on Mondays. Half of us do clinicals on Tuesdays and the other half do clinicals on Wednesdays. We are also going to have one extra lab day on campus. This week it is Friday but it is variable. The "off days" are used to manage the online course load which is research and writing-based.

Hi Anne, I am also at the Athens campus with my two classmates who have already replied to you. The program is awesome! I think that your GPA, plus A's and B's in prereqs plus a good GRE will really make you a competitive candidate. You might want to consider getting at least some exposure to a health care setting (even if it's just observing or setting up talk meetings with nurses) because "why nursing?" will be a big theme of your admission interview. I agree that your teaching/tutoring experience will be a huge asset and many of our classmates come from tutoring or education backgrounds this year! By no means do they expect any real clinical work experience though going in. Have you looked into some independent study options for prereqs? LSU-baton rouge offers psych and lifespan dev. and their prices are really affordable, you can use UGA or another university's testing center for tests and the other work is submitted online or by mail. UGA independent study offers STAT, but you might have that since you were a math major and all. Having campus flexibility (there are 4 now) will also help increase your chances. Good Luck to you!

If those who earn the degree of DNP (doctor of nursing practice) cannot refer to themselves as "Doctor" in the clinical setting due to the fact that "patients will be confused," then Medical Assistants should not be allowed to refer to themselves as nurses for this same reasoning. What infuriates me is that Opticians, Podiatrists, PhD. Psychologists, and Chiropractors get to refer to themselves as "Doctor" in the clinical setting (and no one is "confused"), yet NPs with a docotorate do not. MDs feeling a little threatened by a mostly female cohort of professionals? Hmm, perhaps.

I will start an MSN-CNL program next month. There are many pros to going the master's route. For one, as a graduate student, you are eligible to borrow way more in federal loan money than you are as a second bachelor's degree student. If you are full-time, you might not be able to borrow enough money to go to school for a second bachelor's and so the BSN may cost you more in the long run (think private education loans--cringe). In my school's case, their CNL program, though accelerated a 16 months, affords MORE clinical hours than the BSN program does. Lastly, you may always have the option of pursuing a post-master's certificate in a specialty (FNP, PNP, etc.) once going the MSN-CNL route and gaining the required amount of experience per your school and state. Many post-master's certificates are part-time and allow you to still work while in the program. Or, you might be eligible for a DNP program down the road. That is just my 2 cents.

You have to think about this logically. Since GPA is subjective, most any school worth its salt has to require a standardized test to evenly judge applicants. A 4.0 at one school with a less rigorous reputation might only translate to a 3.5 at another school. Your undergrad. GPA is very respectable. My advice to you is to use great references, solid experience, and work toward achieving the min. required score on one of the two tests so you can apply to the programs. Good Luck.

I am pretty sure that MCG allows you to use the MAT (Miller Analogies Test) in lieu of the GRE for their graduate nursing programs except for the CRNA. I am starting the MSN-CNL program next month and I used my MAT in lieu of the GRE as I did far-and-away better on the MAT. Good Luck!

elizanne- check out scrubs made by Izzy, Peaches, or Greys Anatomy. The styles they carry in stores tend to be more "trendy" as far as colors but many uniform stores can order you anything that the companies make, so I'd ask to order a plain navy if not on the racks. Peaches specializes in "misses fit" and Izzy is more of a teens/junior fit and I'd definetly recommend Izzy for you if you are petite in height as well. I like the way Izzy brand fits so they don't look so sloppy, but I'm 5'6 so they tend to be just a tad shorter (both the pants and the torso length on the tops) than I prefer to wear, but would be perfect for someone about 5'4 or even shorter. The cinched back is fine-I "inherited" a top from a student who graduated one day when at the SONAT and it has a cinched back. Grey's Anatomy scrubs have a fitted or drawstring option for some of the tops too which may help you out. Best thing is to go to a store with a wide selection and try on sizes before you order. I don't know where you live but Uniforms Unlimited in Athens has a big selection and I know they carry the 3 brands I mentioned. Just an FYI, Greys Anatomy scrubs will be noticeably more expensive than the other scrub brands. The material is much softer than standard scrubs and I'm sure the advertising/show affiliation has a lot to do with the extra cost. Also, washing the first time in hot water and drying on high heat helps shrink them up a little. You can also get pants hemmed if just a length issue and the fit otherwise is good. Hope that helps!

Thank you! I will be glad to know something soon so I can pay my tuition and fees and hopefully they will allow me to borrow enough to get through and still be able to eat LOL!

ugadawg--was your class from the American Heart Association? AHA is what MCG requires. I would think as long as it is AHA and it won't expire right away you would be fine. You just probably want to make sure and renew it during the school year if it is going to expire. I think that is a strict requirement of the hospitals that will be hosting us for clinicals that the CPR is always current. MCG or the hospitals are probably just going to ask for a copy of our cards.

Kateo, Good thinking about using Student Health. I finished UGA in 2004 and so have been out of school (full time student status, anyway) for a while. I forget that some people who just graduated might still be able to use their college Health Center to get immunizations. Thanks!

Thanks for all the research on the books, gals. Question about financial aid--I did the Entrance Loan Counseling and signed all the promissory notes...has anyone else done this already and know how long (how many days) before the loan award amount will show up in PULSE? I'm so anxious to make sure my loans are all squared away so I can actually pay for school now that the stress of waiting for an acceptance is over :-)