Husband

I disagree that it is human nature. I think that it is part of the culture of nursing, which is not the culture of most other professions and many nurses don't show the respect and empathy towards each other that they show to their patients. I agree with Grace Oz that bullying in the workplace is illegal. Tutly's reply, however, is spot on, especially about loyalty and problems reporting a bully. As the husband of a nurse and someone who works in another industry, I think that the only conflict resolution skill nurses are encouraged to have is how to make a written harassment claim. I recognise that there are pressures in nursing but it's not the only profession with pressures. I work in a company with over 10,000 people in Australia and the company has few claims lodged despite complying with the same legislation and putting up the same posters about bullying. Even massive retrenchments didn't achieve the low morale of nurses. My wife had an unsubstantiated false claim lodged against her by a bully after she approached Peer Support in HR with other nurses to complain about the nurse's behaviour. Peer Support advised a cohort bully in management and my wife was then targeted. Because she was well liked and the matter became gossip, other nurses started to approach her with their own horror stories of being bullied or being accused of bullying. Management and HR at the hospital encourage claims and will do nothing about concerns unless the victim puts something in writing. Problem is, bullies are lodging false claims against their victims in pre-emptive strikes, any trivial incident is seen as harassment, accusations and gossip fly back and forth and you could cut the tension with a scalpel. The dumbest harassment claim I heard of was when a cleaner (PSA?) went to Causality after receiving a very minor injury. A nurse lodged a harassment claim against him because he a joke about having to get fully undressed asking if was to be an internal examination. The nurse claimed that he was being "lecherous" when the poor old guy was probably just nervous.

Who would have thought?

Before I posted, my wife had asked HR and she said to me that they told her the accrued LSL would reduce. I didn't mention it as I thought she'd just misunderstood. I had also looked at the award before posting but LSL is quoted in the award as months. My wife hasn't contacted the ANF and doesn't intend to drop hours. I was just curious as it seemed silly but perhaps my wife and her friends are not as dumb as I thought.

I agree and think that her friends are just confused but perhaps somone visiting this forum knows for sure without asking the ANF.

My wife is a nurse in a Victorian public hospital. Nurses say that if they drop the number of days they work a week then they will lose too much of their accrued Long Service Leave. Excuse my math if wrong but the following should give you an idea what they believe: If they worked 4 days a week for 15 years I'd assume that they would be entitled to 1/30th of that in LSL, which is six months. 4 days a week over six months = 96 days accrued LSL. They are saying that if they dropped to 2 days a week after having worked 4 days a week for many years, then their accrued LSL would be based only on the current 2 days a week and that accrued LSL would drop accordingly to 48 days. I'm not a nurse and my LSL accrues by the day and wouldn't drop if I started working fewer days a week. I would be paid the accrued days at my current rate of pay. It doesn't seem logical or fair that nurses would lose any accrued LSL and perhaps they are confused with getting paid at their current rate of pay. Their LSL, however, appears to be quoted in weeks not days and is transferable so I thought I'd ask.

Hey Comrade Molotov, we really need to spend some more time together at home and stop just meeting here. Shouldn’t you still be asleep after night duty? If you are working again tonight, perhaps we can try cyber sex? I don't know exactly what it is but it sounds better than nothing.

Its a bit confusing referring to bully, cohort management bully, and so on in this thread so if it’s not considered offensive by the mods, I’d like to assign the following codes: The cohort bully in management is now to be referred to as "Madam Stalin" as she is an egotistical dictator who likes to favourites and wants to purge her tightly controlled regime of all dissidents. The known bully who lodged a false claim against my wife is now "Agent Felix" as she is the eyes and ears of the dictator of the regime and the cause of mass terror amongst its people (No, not named after the cat but Felix Dzerzhinsky, who was the founder of the KGB). My wife is now "Comrade Molotov" because she was a longstanding, valued and loyal member of the regime who has now fallen out of favour with its dictator. She is also a bit volatile about the matter. Boy. It sure is boring at work today.

Hi, This is the wife now who was falsely accused of harrassment. Nothing has happened despite my attempts to clear my name. I have spoken to every person who I thought could help, including the CEO who actually stated that the particular person who set me up has a history of this behaviour. I continue to work on the UNIT but have been excluded from a lot of my usual resposabilities. Unit meetings occur when I am on leave and I am asked toattend. Due to the fact that I have a busy life , I always send my apologies.She continually tries to assert her authority and even has the ordasity to ring me at home about a trivial matter.I have been advised to say nothing to her which is extremely difficult.She does rostering and has ensured that I get opposite shifts and a lot of ones that I dont want. Roster has been used to punish me. All this is normal behaviour for this person. I discussed her past with HR and although they also know about this ,they can only deal with the particular complaint, and what has happened elsewhere is irrelevant. THIS PERSON IS USED TO WORKING in this SORT OF ENVIRONMENT. My other collegues are very wary of her and frightened of her. She can be very intimidating and has been accused of being a bully at another hospital whilst holding a senior position. WILL THIS EVER END!

It hasn’t ended. One of the cohort bullies spoke to another nurse like a dog and that nurse has lodged a harassment claim. Also a group of nurses have jointly submitted a letter of complaint to HR against this bully as recommended by the ANF. It will be interesting to see how HR treats this matter, as the bully is senior management. I bet it won’t be the same way they treated my wife. Reprisals so far have included some unfair rostering (unnecessary late/early, nights, swapping and requests not granted) by the other bully and some childish exclusion by both bullies such as arranging meetings when nurses being bullied are not rostered and not including them in correspondence. As I said in the previous thread, it’s a facade, everyone pretending to be civil and talking about teamwork while keeping dossiers like the KGB to trip each other up. Unfortunately, if someone is documenting everything you do then so must you. We are buying a filing cabinet.

Hi wife! I’m printing and laminating this. By the way, I fixed your typos. Yes, I know I'm anal. Perhaps with all the night duty you do we can communicate here.

Hi, this is the wife writing now. I have been in the silent background until now and this is a rare thing as my husband keeps suggesting. He has always been my soul mate and tower of strength. Without him, I would never have got through this terrible ordeal. Today the HR department sent emails telling me to attend a seminar on a positive work environment. I have a few suggestions for them. I suggest they practise what they preach and encourage people to resolve conflict i.e. minor claims like mine that involve a grown person having a hissy fit to discuss problems with the person, or unit manager before running to management in a crying inconsolable state. The harassment officer said that you would wonder why one would do that. She was alluding that it was true. She doesn’t know this person who cries at the drop of a hat. People show their emotions in different ways and some perform and exaggerate.

MellowOne, Google says that a SNAG is a Sensitive New-Age Guy – A man who listens to his partner, is sensitive to her (or his) concerns, and gives them lots of space. It was once a good way for a man to describe himself if he wanted to get laid (but not now). I was joking again MellowOne and I don’t think that either of us are snags, although Lacie’s "Boring" sounds like a bit of a wimp so he could be one.

My wife asked HR again about the policy and they have now clarified the policy so that it makes a bit more sense. A substantiated claim is placed in the file of the respondent and destroyed after 12 months if no further claims are lodged. Copies of ALL claims, however, whether substantiated or unsubstantiated are kept indefinitely in a locked cupboard in HR. Who knows why they didn’t just say this straightaway, as it is consistent with the policy and procedures of other organisations. HR would need to keep a record of how all claims were handled as they can escalate to litigation. What this means to you nurses is that if you ever have a claim of harassment lodged against you, HR could use it in the future regardless of whether it was substantiated or unsubstantiated. As they said to my wife “It would ring alarm bells.” If it is a false claim made in bad faith as against my wife, then it is in your interest to not just be relieved as she was initially when HR said that it is unsubstantiated. You should request that the matter be fully investigated to prove your innocence then ask for a copy of their investigation and other documents to be held. In my wife’s case, it was obvious to all who knew both parties that she was innocent and set up but as harassment is a matter of perception, you need be absolutely positive that you are completely innocent of harassment before getting too indignant. HR didn’t consider my wife’s long perfect record or the well-known problems of the other party and they did not attempt to question any of the witnesses to the alleged incidents during their investigation. HR is to show my wife their investigation report held with the claim and response and hopefully this will satisfy her. How come there are no posts about the industrial action on this forum?

Lacie, The above suggestion is one that appeals to me, as being an arrogant and rude jerk that people here have discovered, I love to irritate everone, especially both sides of our family. Some sisters and sister-in-laws are just jealous and spitful so there is nothing you can or should do to win them over. Some mother-in-laws will never understand why their son or daughter chose you and why you don't jump when they say boo. Ask your husband to send all his relatives a family portrait. Get him to send an extra big one of just you to your sister-in-law for her album. I am being serious now Lacie - if not the picture then something else. He should want to do something to keep you. Perhaps say that you are leaving next Friday with the kids unless HE thinks of something to get you to stay. Actually leaving him may be the prompt needed and if not then why stay together? I am still waiting to find out why HE doesn't want sex at 26. I don't want to appear arrogant again but he makes me look good as I am proud to say that even though I'm much older, I can still give my wife 2 minutes of moderate pleasure (including I minute of foreplay) every blue moon.

scrub270, No need to apologise. My wife thinks you are very perceptive. And I would pity a patient under my nursing care too, which is why my wife is the nurse. I came here to seek advice for a problem she had at work. MellowOne, however, seems a bit of a SNAG so he will probably appreciate your apology. Regards