mamaames

Nurse156, Thank you! This is what I was hoping to hear. I just feel so embarrassed and lame now, and wish I could have just avoided the whole thing! But I appreciate you taking the time to write to me, So thanks again

Hello folks, I am writing because I need some encouragement....... What happened was that I had an anxiety attack on my second day in the ER. I have been a nurse about a year, and had a good first day, but the second day I started to freak out in my head and started convincing myself that I could never do this job and didn't know anything about nursing, and didn't know my surroundings at all! It wasn't the intensity of a trauma or anything, but just doubting my own abilities and knowledge. It got so bad that I quietly said I needed to go home and walked out to the car. Where I sat, breathing, and eventually convinced myself that I HAD to go back in there and "get 'er done". Which I was eventually able to do. I just walked back in and finished out the day, and held it together. Although I had to try as best I could to explain what had happened.... So my question is: Will I be able to live this down? I don't want to ruin my reputation on Day 2, and have them think I'll never make it, and spiral down into losing my job!!! (Notice the tendency for catastrophic thinking here) I have dealt with anxiety my whole life, and similar incidents like this have occurred at the beginning of each new clinical setting I find myself in, starting from my very first clinical rotation in school. However, I graduated school with Honors, and managed to do well in my first job despite anxiety in the beginning. I know this is a pattern for me, and I just hope the ER can understand. Any thoughts or advice or words of commiseration would be greatly appreciated.... Thanks!!!

I am right there with you. I describe my job (new grad position, started 4 months ago) to my family and friends as "20% tolerable, and 80% miserable". I love nursing, but hate the floor I work on. I am beginning to understand that this is a very common problem. I hope that enough of us newbies will start to see the pattern and maybe we can put pressure on the hospitals we work in to ease the misery. I think there are two issues here. One is whether or not you really enjoy "nursing", and the other is whether or not you are in a good fit in the job you have. I can say for certain, that I do not fit well with my job - but I'm hanging in there. And you will too! Try to remember that this is a stepping stone, and you will move on from this position - so try to learn what you can, don't beat yourself up too much, and be ready to jump on the next opportunity to move on as soon as it appears. I can say, despite my hatred of my job, after a couple months now I really do feel stronger as a nurse, and I am starting to trust my "nursing instinct" more and more - so yes, I hope the first year blues will depart soon too. Hang in there!

I am in the exact same boat. I am a new grad as well. I feel like there are just not enough hours in a shift to get everything done, and while people say they are there to help me, when I ask for help I get the "Why can't you do it by yourself?" look, and then I feel bad. I am constantly asking my charge nurse for help, and I wonder if this is just what has to be done, or if I will be fired soon because I just can't handle my full patient assignment. But then I see seasoned nurses struggling and drowning as well, and I start to think that maybe the issue isn't even time management at all, but that there really IS just too much to be done. Nursing is crazy, and the responsibility alone is enough to break someone. But throw onto that a broken system that doesn't have enough CNA's and a whole shift of nurses that are maxed out on ratio's, and it's no wonder we are having a hard time. I have to say, I'm glad to hear that it's not just my floor. I figure, I'll do a couple years of hospital nursing and then get the **** out. It is ridiculous that we are put in this work environment. When even experienced nurses are crying and stressed out - something is very wrong. Thanks for sharing, and you are not alone! Also, just start telling people what you need done. Eventually, someone will help you. Thanks!

Hello there, I am a new nurse, recently employed in September 09, and I am looking for a nursing journal (one or 2) that I can subscribe to, that will keep me up to date on "nursing issues". I'm not looking the most difficult reading out there, but I don't want fluff either, something in the middle would be wonderful. Any suggestions? Thanks for your help!!!!!

Hi, This can be a touchy area. My situation was that I wanted to start nursing school as soon as possible, and where I live the public school programs were all wait-listed. I happened to apply to a more expensive private school, and I got in, so I got the loans to go. I would not recommend this to anyone, but for me it was more important to just get started and I was willing to take the risk. I would say that quite a few people in my class felt the same way. Knowing that nursing pays well, and that I WILL eventually be able to pay it off was alright with me. But I see that not everyone would be willing to take that chance. However, on a side note - I think I lucked out as my school has a very solid reputation in the area, and I feel that I did get a quality education there. And I think employers recognize that when they see my resume. There are many paths to nursing school - everyone has to find the one that suits them. Just wanted to share!

I feel your pain! I am a new grad and have been looking for 5 months with nothing to show for it. Unfortunately this is a very common story at the moment. A large majority of my classmates from Samuel Merritt University are in the exact same boat. Isn't it irritating to have to explain to people about the reality of how bad it is, after they say "But your a nurse, don't we need nurses? You should be able to get a job, right?". "NO!!!!!" However, try and keep your head up. It's not easy, but we have to try and stay positive and not beat ourselves up over this. It isn't our fault, we don't deserve it, but we do have to just get through it. I just try and remind myself that this is temporary, and we WILL find jobs eventually. If bills are piling up my advice would be to either get a regular job and stick it out around here, or relocate if possible. I know it's not desirable but again, it doesn't have to be forever - you can always come back here in a year or two! Good luck!

Thanks for the thoughts. Both postings are much appreciated! I have definitely been trying to read a "little" each day in my texts, and am exercising, so that's good. Now for the job!!!!!

Hi, So I'm a new grad in Oakand, having a hard time getting my first job - like many of us out there - and I'm wondering if there is any advice out there for how to keep up on my "nursing knowledge". It's been 4 months since I've been in a hospital (last two classes were online) and I'm afraid of forgetting everything! I was planning on just reading my books again while I am applying for jobs, but thought maybe there were some better ideas out there. Or any other reading material that would be good for "keeping up"? Thanks a lot, Amy

well, I can tell you that I had a DUI 5 years ago, and I sat for and passed the NCLEX in January this year. So I am officially an RN. However, I am a new grad and am unemployed. My current worry is that hospitals will not be interested in considering me simple because it's easy to throw out the folks with "convictions" from the enormous stacks of application and resumes for jobs. I have another post out there exploring how to deal with the application for jobs. But I am a nurse! and unfortunately i have a bad decision on my record. so there is hope!

Hi folks, I got a DUI in Jan 04 (Before I even did my prerequisites for nursing school). I have my RN license now (after the process of gathering all the documentation to send to the BRN) and it was not a problem. I am wondering if part of my problem getting a New Grad position is that I have been checking "yes" for convicted of a crime - and writing a SHORT explanation in the space provided. I am thinking now that I might just check "no" and then when I have an interview I would alert them that they will find it on my background check, but that "I didn't realize that I should have reported it on the application at that time". I mean, I have every intention of being honest about it, but is it possible that they use that information as an "unofficial" filter method to cut down from the large number of applications they receive? Am I paranoid? Should I feel confident that I have a strong application otherwise and not worry about this, or is it a rational fear that this could take me out of the running before they have even really considered the rest of my application? If there are any people out there who are on the hiring end of things I would especially appreciate your feedback. Thanks, Unsure How To Proceed