Monkeytoes

KSU-SN...I really feel what your going through. I made a huge error my first year of being an RN, and it really shook my confidence. I began to regress because I always second-guessed myself. I remember the sleepless nights and anxiety that you are going through. I really admire you for sticking up for yourself! It is important to be honest with your capabilities when patient safety is at stake. Let the dust settle. If this confrontation with the CN only happened yesterday, move forward knowing that you got overwhelmed and expressed your genuine concern. Sometimes you need to speak your mind and you won't be able to please everyone. Hang in there.

Thank you to all for taking the time to reply with such thoughtful advice. I have given everything here a great deal of thought. I agree that confidence breeds success. I have worked 3 nights since being told I was receiving a writeup and I've been trying to hold my head high. It makes surviving these shifts a lot easier. "Fake it til you make it?"... Very wise. I should note that I was hired after my hospital shut their new grad program down. I've had to be pretty proactive and independent in my own learning. I had 5 days of general hospital/computer training and 7 weeks of floor training between 4 mentors. We float pretty frequently and I was first floated on my second week off orientation. Right from the start, I've had to ask lots of questions and do a lot of research at home to come as far as I have. I even enrolled in an IV therapy course across town to brush up on my skills. I will ask my manager if I can go to the ER for a day, as many of you suggested. As far as hospital policies and procedures go, we have a book the size of two encyclopedias available at our nurses station. *Hard to know everything, but I've tried figuring out the most important stuff. I've read the employee handbook given to me when I was first hired. Not everyone sticks to the rules, so things become a little unclear. I will bring this up with my NM. I have not signed my writeup or spoken to by my NM yet. At this point, I fear I will get terminated, since I am just past my year mark. This is not the first time I've been confronted for making mistakes. I've always struggled with time management, although I do feel that I've made good improvements. Trying to maintain a positive mental attitude. I really revere what I do as a nurse and will push to at least stay employed at my hospital. A few of you mentioned trying another floor. I am still pondering this. A mentor would make me feel a lot more supported. All great suggestions to try, if my manager doesn't fire me. Please keep your fingers crossed. **

I've worked as an RN at night on a busy med-surg floor for a little over a year. As much as I love being a nurse, it has been an extremely difficult this first year! It seemed as though the first 6 months went ok, then I began to regress. The more mistakes I made, the more I lacked confidence in my actions. There have been lots of errors I've made-mostly being unfamiliar with hospital policy, procedures, or with paperwork. More recently I made my first real medication error. Fortunately, I have never harmed a patient and have always been honest with my mistakes. I'm terrible with IV starts. I have made a lot of effort to improve my IV starts, yet still find myself frequently asking my colleagues for help. I was just notified by our night Charge Nurse that she's writing me up up for the numerous errors made in the last few weeks including recent my recent medication error. She has reported everything to my Nurse Manager. In addition, she told me there is impatience brewing amongst some of the night nurses when it comes to helping me start IVs. She also stated a couple of day nurses think that I "don't get it" without specific complaints made. This CN reassured me that she thinks I have lot of potential, but I lack confidence. I respect my CN's decision because she's ultimately concerned about patient safety. I admire her honesty and concern. I have had a few meetings with my Nurse Manager about my performance in the past, and she will be speaking to me again about this writeup. I'm horrified to think about what's coming my way. I never imagined that I would have such a difficult adjustment. I had a very positive experience in nursing school. I have a wonderful supportive husband, family, and friends. I get along well with the staff and I'm very open to constructive criticism. Always dreamt of being a nurse. I'm very concerned about patient safety and the direction of my career. I am hesitant to be open with friends and nursing colleagues about my challenges at work. Feeling really hurt learning that some of my co-workers aren't being straight forward with me about their opinions. In the same token, I really enjoy many aspects of my job and don't want to give up when the going gets rough. I'm unsure about where to go from here or how to respond to my CN. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hello All, I have just completed my 2 weeks at Kaplan. I earned a 67% on their readiness test, which is considered a passing score for the NCLEX. My instructor has insisted that I take the NCLEX soon, before I go on a vacation (Jan 30-Feb 7). I can't find a testing center in CA with an open appointment until mid February. I really haven't begun to study much and was hoping to take the NCLEX on Feb 16. Feeling pretty discouraged about this. I scheduled this vacation with my husband so long ago and didn't think scheduling would be such an issue...errr! Any advice is welcomed =]