power99

Hi guys, I need some advice, there are 2 pt's on my wing that require narc's once a day. What do I say to get someone to give them for me. I will do anything for the other nurse so she/he could give them for me. I just don't want to make things worse for me. Do I just fess up about the Kare program and 1 yr with no admin. narcs or say something else. Any advice would be great. Thanks!

hi all, i worked this past week in my new job. i have never worked ltc and having a difficult time adjusting. i have only 2 pt. that require narcotics and still having a hard time finding someone to give the narcs there for me. and what to say, why you can't give the meds. its going to be a long year before i can give them again. any advice on what to say? hugs!:heartbeat

hi guys got the all this morning to come in for orientation on monday! it is ltc, never been my favorite, but this is wonderful. thank you to god above for this. i can get started again on working and cont. on myself. thanks for all the support and comfort i have found here.!:clpty:

I interviewed for 2 positions last friday at the same hospital. THe nurse manager liked me and my resume, we really hit it off. Things we moving really along and she was talking about different shift I could work and etc. I told her that I was in the kare program and what my situation is now with recovery. She told me that since I worked there before (twice) with good service, she was going to bat for me. She told me that another nurse came and interviewed and that the person over HR would not let them hire her( she was also in the kare program). The HR statement was "why hire someone elses problem." Well today I get my letter saying there are no positions available for me there. I feel like I have the plague. Just needed to vent.

Met again with the BON yesterday, I thought this was to re-sign a new contract to go back to work. No this was just to meet my case worker and review paperwork. Next Tues. 12/23 I am going into the hospital to have a ventral hernia repair. I would have had this fixed if we had had insurance all this time being off and unable to work. Now I have to get thru this, off medication again and then write a letter, my counselor write a letter and find a sponsor to write a letter. No, I have not found anyone at the meetings that has had enough clean time to even be a sponsor....Sorry about the rant, I am so frustrated and mad at myself at this moment.:angryfire If I do not go back to work soon we will loose everything, my husband is an OTR truck driver and is not getting miles to make a paycheck these days. My case worker told me this will all be over soon and becomes routine...but I feel like I am living groundhog day over and over..I am scared to death about going back on pain meds next week and all the paperwork that is going to be done. Thanks for listening.

hi i know exactly where you are right now, i diverted narc. back this spring and never thought of doing so in 22 years of nursing. start now working the steps, get it to a aa/na. make sure to make a sign in sheet to show the bon when you meet. talk with your pastor or someone you trust. get a sponsor in na/aa someone who has been there. and it is a hard process but work on forgiveness. i will say this is something that i am still working on. one day at a time, we are all human. not one person in this world has not made a mistake. this is a wonderful site, lots of love and support. hang it there. glad your here.

insomniac............ after i registered it told me what day to start either calling or checking labcorp website to see if i was selected for collection that day. one day at a time my friend.....one day at a time! hugs!

morning all, just checked in for my first uds screening. you were right it took me a least 2 days to recover from the bon meeting. thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here and so supportive. after all the counseling, i feel more like myself in 2 years than i have been. i just worry about all the finances and how we are going to pay for everything including the random tests that are going to occur. my husband does have a job, but until i go back to work things are really tight. but, what do you do ....just say a prayer and go on..right?! anyway sorry about the rambling...just wanted to share my first day of checking in. hugs!:typing

hi guys, wanted to let you know i met with the bon yesterday. i sat in the waiting area what seemed like forever...mind you it was only 20 min. i was hot felt like i was going to throw-up! but i have to say the ladies i spoke with were incredibly nice to me. i was questioned and asked about my nursing history and how i got to the point of diverting narcotics. i cried for 2 1/2 hours during my meeting. they asked me to sign up for the kare program and i did. and then was told that i need to work on self forgiveness. with that more tears fell . that is going to be the biggest challenge of all. i will work on it, one day at a time. i signed for 5 years, 3 na/aa meetings a week. 1 year of narcotic restriction and 3 years of not working in a management position. i feel mentally drained today and over-whelmed by all i am going to do. and then was told that it might be a challenge to find a job....which i had already figured was going to come. i will be honest i am scared of trying to find a job and the rejection that may come, if i don't go to work soon we will never get out of debt. sorry to carry on....just wanted to tell you my version of this journey we are all on.

welcome suzanne, i am also going thru the process now. just joined a kare program in my state. i diverted demerol for im use with break thru back pain. this is a wonderful and loving site, it has helped me so much words cannot describe. hugs!:heartbeat

thanks all, the closer the day gets the more i am praying about it all. i just want to show the bon that i am working at recovery and want to correct my terrible actions that i took. i will let everyone know how it goes. hugs!:heartbeat

congrat's......................and a big pat on the back!!!

You handle it with grace and dignity. And you diserve a big hug!:heartbeat

Hi All, I go before the BON Dec. 12th and extremely nervous. I was told that it would last approx. 2 hours. They would discuss my case and go over the contract for a kare program. I'm going in with honesty and to show them that I am working a program to help in my recovery. Anyone with any advice or could share in an experience. Pray for me.

Sassy Whether your super. knows or not. You could just tell her that you have a standing therapy appointment on that day every week. Taking care of you first, no matter what. Right? Smiles....Hang in there.

Thank You to all!!!:heartbeat I do feel like a weight has been lifted, somewhat. Or should I say I jumped one of many hurdles. Now I just wait for my date to go to the board and understand all of the contract. The next hurdle will be to find someone to give me another chance at nursing. I hope to be able to do something with this experience and help someone else either not go down this road or help them along in this journey of recovery.

HI all, Finally heard from the board. I am able to apply for re- instatement of my license and going into a kare program. Finished up 3 months of o/p couselling and cont. going to NA meetings. Sometimes this all feels like a dream. I still cannot believe I let myself get so low and desperate to divert medications. And taking it one day at a time on forgiving and learning to take care of myself first. After 22 years of nursing it is my turn to take care of me first. That's a new one for me. I am so glad I found this forum, at least I do not feel so alone. I just hope someone will give me a chance to nurse again.

Congratulations Sassy!!! Maybe there is hope for me yet!

I am 42 years old. I have been a nurse for 23 years. The physician noticed how full of spinal stenosis and arthritis that had already set up in my back and hips at the age of 42. He said it looked like the back of a 70 year old person.

No I am 42, I have been an RN for 23 years. Sole support of the family for 9 years...LOL. sorry I worded it wrong.

Hi New to the forum. I am a 23 year RN and made a foolish decision to divert pain medication in June after hurting my back. I was working 4-5 12 hour shift, having break-thru pain. I was pushing myself so hard to take care of a family. Not justifying, but I was not in my right mind. My husband was out of a job and I had been the sole support for the past 9 years. I was physically, mentally and spiritally broken. I have been without a job since then and still have not heard from the BON. I am in weekly counselling and NA meetings. I wanted to repair my self-esteem and licensure. I have gotten off of my medications for my back to get my life back on track. My neuro-surgeon told me during my back injections in X-ray, I had the spinal stenosis and arthritis of a 70 year old, not someone that was 42. I feel like this nightmare will never end and having a hard time forgiving myself to move on. Any advice or help would be appreciated.