NoMoFear

I got up the courage to take a look at that thread bossy... It made me think back to the last couple years in school. The patients I had the most problems with were the drinkers! I was so deep in denial, and their addictions forced me to think about mine! I really resented them for it.... I'm doing pretty well everybody, 22 days today. I just got an AA sponsor. Feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time.

9 years... I'm in awe! Thank you for showing me as a newbie what is possible in sobriety! It gives me a big boost of hope.

Lol, I wouldn't look at that thread if you paid me! Sorry bossy, at this point, so early in my recovery, I am looking for support... not hurtful judgment. I'm hard enough on myself Thank you all so much for the welcome! I chose not to disclose to my professor, it just didn't seem necessary. I want to earn back any lost confidence by working hard and performing better, not disclosing medical and personal details. Happy to meet you guys :)

I don't know... I have heard people share many shameful things in the rooms. People who were violent to their loved ones, got DUIs, were sexually promiscuous, broke up their marriages, and were irresponsible on the job. I don't think we're exempt because we're medical professionals... I just don't see the difference between myself and other AA people. We have way more in common than we have differences, no matter what we do :)

Hi... My name is Kaitlyn and I'm an alcoholic... I'm also a new RN and a nurse practitioner student. I had worried about my drinking for years, but never quite failed the diagnostics I ran myself through... Never had that eye-opener, so I must not be an alcoholic, I just need to "cut back". (Never mind that I couldn't cut back- every time I tried and failed, I would tell myself in retrospect I hadn't "really" meant it! God, when I think back on all the mental gymnastics I put myself through to avoid facing the simple truth, I feel like smacking myself upside the head. Anyway, so much for wasted time and effort. I am now 18 days sober and attending AA meetings, as well as getting online support at other forums. I just had no idea that a forum like this existed for nurses. I'm so happy I found it... gosh I'm getting teary-eyed. My sobriety is so new, and life feels like such a roller coaster, I'm very fearful of who I should tell and who I shouldn't due to my profession. I didn't face my alcoholism due to any extreme exterior consequence. No DUIs, no legal problems of any sort, no real physical dependence (I was lucky not to have to go through withdrawal, I know), and was never under the influence in a clinical setting. However there were a lot of "yets" on my horizon. I have seen others in my family progress in the disease and I didn't want to be one of them. Also in the last year I know my school performance slipped. It's a new year and I'm trying to make a fresh start but I'm afraid I've completely lost the confidence of my professors. There is one in particular I'm considering disclosing my recovery to, but the fear factor is strong. I'm repeating the serenity prayer a lot... which is funny because I'm an atheist! I'm trying to think of it as a meditation. No matter what you believe, everyone needs serenity, courage, and wisdom. Especially me right now. This is a completely rambling post... I'm just giddy to have found you all. Have good sober days everybody :)