grid_iron_gurl

Well, guys, 3 weeks on the job and it went from bad to worse. Some days were good, some were hellish. My spirit is completely crushed. I've read posts for support, asked for help from the ADON (who is amazing wonderful), the other CNAs (the ones I trust and like), the new unit manager, friends, family, even a patient who is also an employee... they ALL see and acknowledge the problems there. Part of the problem is that there has been no acting unit manager on our wing, part of it is political bullcrap, part is just the overload that goes with the job. I have decided I can't take it anymore. It's gotten to the point now that people I don't even know see me come in in the morning and ask, "so, are you gonna cry today or are you over that yet?" (I squeezed out tears on the job twice and walked outside - not had a bawling fit or anything.) They actually laugh at me about it. The patients LOVE me because I actually CARE about them. The patient who is also an employee has told the DON and administrator, who she is friends with, not to let me leave cause I am the best aid they have. The other aids have told me that if I want to survive I need to learn to hide in my patients' rooms if it's dead for a moment. I am the only one who will actually walk from room to room and check on my patients (mine are all fall risks cause they keep getting up - CONSTANTLY). I have 4 that I am constantly catching standing up and trying to walk or climb. I actually had one fall cause she learned to remove her alarm. I have other aids who put my patients back in bed or their chairs when I am at lunch and not turn on their alarms and then one fell out of bed and *I* took the hit cause her alarm wasn't on. I have just had it. There are at least 5 other aids who feel the same way. No matter how many aids we have working, I always have more patients than anyone else and I'm tired of scrapping and fighting with the other girls. I'm tired of "standing up for myself." So, I just take the extra patients. It's gotten to the point that no one answers call lights but me and even the ADON and unit manager told me to stop cause they are watching and counting to see how long it takes everyone else. I am sick to death of it all. Even the nurses are miserable. If this is what it's like in the healthcare field, I don't want to be a CNA OR a nurse anymore. I was always happy and cheerful and loved my residents. NOW, I can't even manage a smile. I guess I had this ridiculous fantasy about teamwork and patient care being above all else. I am not cut out for constant bickering and catfighting and pointing the finger. I just want to take care of the patients. I don't know how you guys do this every day, you are worth 20 times what you are paid. I'm sorry to be a bummer, but THIS is the reality I've been facing day in and day out. And I HATE it.

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[color=#40007f]hey guys! i'm a new poster (long time lurker) i'm a single mom, 35, and just got my cna in october. i've been working home health through an agency since then - and starving. i just nabbed my first facility job a week or so ago and started saturday. it's a rehab facility with 1 long term care wing. i successfully survived 4 days. yay! i'm still working my home health job for an hour a night 4-6 days a week and now i'm only $350 a month short on making the budget work. hehehe anyway, my first day was total hell. i was soooo completely overwhelmed. i didn't know what room i was in, whether i was coming or going, what i was supposed to do and not do, and i was dripping with sweat the whole day. it didn't help that it felt like it was 185 degrees in there. it also doesn't help that i was stressed and nervous and a total perfectionist. we were short handed and i was a trailer following my trainer around all day. on my first break, i met the crankiest nurse and aides and all they did was scream and yell about everyone else and how the unit manager was demoted and so-and-so wasn't doing her job and blah-blah-blah... i was warned that "x" patient wants to sue us and even the don was banned from her room so never go in alone and this patient and this aide and that aide and so on.... - i felt like i was hopelessly trapped in a very bad episode of general hospital. i was ready to claw my way out through the bushes or bust a window and jump out. after break, went back in to feed patients and had a dementia patient sitting next to me who proceeded to scream that i was fat, an imposter, fired, and to get out cause she owned the place across the entire dining room. nobody had warned me before hand that those were her usual lines for everyone. *sigh* i handled it with grace. we were way behind all day since night hadn't done some of the prep work for us or something and no one prepared this new admit and ..... ugh. [color=#40007f]luckily, i only broke down and let tears squeeze out once thinking that there was no way on god's green earth that i could do this freaking job. i just asked to take a quick break (which we were badly due), walked outside, got a breath of air, composed myself, and marched right back in there. fortunately, i totally anticipated this happening. [color=#40007f]i smiled, concentrated on the patients and determined that my focus would be to try to keep them happy. nothing else mattered. [color=#40007f] day 2 was much better. my trainer was so calm and really had it together. the night shift had done some prep for us and the day was, overall, pretty smooth. day 3, even better. [color=#40007f]we had one impossible patient and my trainer was ready to choke her, but when she called us, i took over as "good cop" to the patient and my trainer did the necessities. we made an awesome team. she said i was a tremendous help and gave me a big pat on the back for a job well done for the day. okay, i thought. i can do this. [color=#40007f] day 4, patients know me and like me. employees getting to know me too. it's getting nice to walk in and actually have people say hi. really intimidating moment - had to feed a woman who seemed damn near comatose. she surprised me and i learned a ton. feeling a little unsteady again, but getting there. tomorrow (today) is my day off and i only have 2 days of training left. i'm on my own after that. *sigh* very overwhelming. i can do this. sorry this was so long, but only you guys get what this is like. it's like another world to walk into this situation. you're scared to death of screwing up, but you want to jump in and help. i did on the first day cause i felt helpless and got fussed at for helping someone without knowing if she was a 1- or 2-person assist. so much to know. *sigh* you've got so many people screaming at you to help them and only 2 hands. and so easy to forget when you have 5 requests waiting and 4 call lights and 2 pts needing patients and trays on the floor...... it's overwhelming as can be, but i love it. i have pleading, grateful eyes who long for a loving hand and a tender touch. hurt bodies whose hearts ache for a laugh and a friendly face. how can you not love it? these people are a trip and a blessing (and a pain in the a$$)! we'll see what happens. [color=#40007f]~sandy [color=#40007f]in the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. daniel l. reardon

wow, thanks for the kudos! i started tuesday with the 9-hour administrative orientation, but i don't start the orientation on-the-floor until saturday. i am quite nervous. hopefully, it will go reasonably well. the management staff seems to be a dream come true. i hope first impressions are true to life. unfortunately, the pay end is what hurts. now i'll have to work 2 jobs to stay afloat. ugh. i have literally put in over 70 applications since halloween at hospitals from largo to brooksville. i keep being beaten out by more experienced people - and it doesn't help that i require days because of being a single mom. grrrrrr. no matter what, i am hanging in. i believe you can do anything you set your mind to - it just might take a while. i may have to hold off school until i can get a better paying job and pare it down to 1 job and school and raising my son. you can do it!!!!! i'll let you know how my first few days go!! take care, [color=#40007f]~sandy [color=#40007f][color=#40007f]"in the long run the pessimist may be proven right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip." daniel l. reardon

Hi there, I am new to the forum and noticed your post. I took a 2 week prep course with florida med prep in st pete. They are VERY reasonable compared to the colleges if you are major strapped for cash (like me!). It prepared me well for the state exam, which you can take right there at the school. it was quite stressful, but I crammed and made it. Unfortunately, I can't seem to BUY a PCT job, which I'd die for. I passed my exam in October and have been doing agency home health for 2 months. I JUST got hired last week for work in a local rehab facility and start this coming Tuesday. YAY! Wish me luck. :-) All this in hopes of going to nursing school. Ahhhh, step 1 completed. Best of luck to you!