femsmahus

I currently live in the middle of the country, but am headed west in about 3 wks. As for the needle stick....everything turned out okay in that regard. However, there was absolutely no concern showed to me by my NM nor the RN (by the way IS the CN that was going through my charts) who took over for me. As for the medication Esmolol....I didn't know the exact amt I would titrate down to get the pt off of it. I stated that I was watching the pts pressures and the med was working and I had been instructed by the doc to go down as her b/p started going down. At the time I left the pts b/p was in the normal range and I stated to the rn that took over for me what the doc had said. AND naturally I would have looked the med up before I started pushing buttons.....but again....I absolutely should have looked up the drug the minute the pt hit the floor. Bad move on my part and lesson learned. My resignation is done and I am turning it in tomorrow.

Ok....so I guess the general consensus is to get out now? Ugggg....this whole situation is so frustrating and de-moralizing. I NEVER thought I would be in this position. I sailed through nursing school and had no issues AT ALL. My DM practically begged me to stay in the ICU and work as an RN. Crazy how some things turn out hu? It has been extremely difficult for me. I am not some young pup (42) and I certainly get the games that people play but I am that person that gets along with a fencepost, so having this kind of thing happen to me is a little disconcerting. And has certainly lent itself to many moments of "What the h*ll was I thinking???" I have spent the last two weeks putting in applications for jobs in N. Cal. (I know I know...I am obviously a glutten for punishment), but I have to have faith that a job will happen. I HAVE to leave this toxic situation. N.Cali is my home and I want to go back! All of your advice has been encouraging and very helpful. I guess I needed to hear from others that this was exactly what I thought it was......a train wreck. Hugs to all of you!

The NM absolutely has his tracks covered. During our original meeting I was assured that although this was a "problem" he knew that this "isn't you". Every single little item that was brought up I defended. I did feel that I was deserving of one write up because it involved the administration of a medication that I knew only the very basics of....although I was literally with the doc through the entire process and he had informed me of what to watch for. The RN that turned me in accused me of not knowing the med because in my anxiety of just having been stuck by a dirty needle I couldn't remember how to pronounce the name....but could write it down. Again....no documentation hung me (although I did my basic charting when I got back I did NOT do detailed nurses notes ) YES.....lesson learned on that point. Even though the constant care of my pt was what hindered me from leaving their room and sitting at a computer to chart. To make matters worse while in the meeting with the DM he had the audacity to ask me if I was using drugs or alcohol to cope with my stress. *****?? I was so shocked that I literally laughed out loud. To which he asked if I had consumed alcohol before coming to work. Yes....at 4am I downed a six-pack! Whatever!!! As for the CN...I fear there is no escaping her. She does not think I am ICU material and therefore is going to get rid of me no matter what. I just feels this with everything in me. I am not sure what the reasoning is behind hiring so many new grads. What I do know is that when your seasoned nurses are only 3 yrs out of school themselves....it doesn't make for a safe environment. I did bring this to my NM attention and he said that it was cyclical and that it would pass. My question is....before or after someone dies?? Before or after I get nailed to a wall and loose my license?? Even our docs think it is insane and are constantly frustrated.

Caliotter--9 months would have made all the difference in the world. Our ICU preceptorships are only 12 weeks. They of course tell you that you can request additional time, but few do because we get a $1 raise once off of orientation.

My orientation was a cluster. 5 different preceptors due to the first moving on to a new job, new preceptor was a nasty harsh woman that felt it was her obligation to "break-in new RN's like they did in the old days", and 3 fill-ins. At the time I thought I was prepared to work on my own and most days I do great. But recent events have freaked me out. I have talked my situation over with a few other RN's and they say that my scenario happens to us all....they just have the opportunity to get caught up. I readily admit that the situation was out of control and I should have demanded help from the charge and I DID ask for help, but like I said the unit was so hectic that day. We currently have about 70% new grads working on the floor. Most of the seasoned RN's are/have moved on because it is not a pleasant place to work right now. Our doc are even leaving!

I am a fresh and shiny new RN and getting slaughtered in the ICU. I worked there as a tech for a year before I finished school and thought it would be an easy transition as an RN. Boy was I wrong!! Here's the deal....I had a particularly crazy morning; crazy high maintenance family in one room and an admit (at 0745) from the ER (found unresponsive- drug OD) in the other. The admit was nothing like the ER nurse reported to me. Pt was vented, b/p in the 200's, couldn't tell if she was seizing or posturing, etc. While trying to complete the 3 pages of doc orders on the new admit I get a dirty needle stick (as her ex-husband calmly informs me that she has a life long history of IV drug use). Needless to say the morning was so insane that I didn't have a chance to sit down and do ANY charting. Charge calls a RN from home to come in and cover for me while I go get my blood work done. I feel HORRIBLE about the whole situation....I waited until the last minute to take care of myself so as to not leave so much work for the oncoming RN. Well....she comes in ******. I apologize all over the place, trying to explain what the morning was like. During report I had to go look at vent setting as the RT was in there changing them throughout the morning. Fast forward....come back and approach the RN and she basically tells me to do my charting and stay away from HER pts. Fine! Whatever! Go into work the next day and have been taken off the schedule for the day and then am subjected to a 2.5 hr meeting with the nurse manager. This RN hand wrote 6 pages of notes detailing stuff that she thought I had done wrong, mind you nothing life-threatening....no pillows in admits rm (no need to turn her that morning as she was bucking all over the place), no oral care done (no time as I was trying to control her b/p and figure out her mentation), etc etc etc. She also printed off all of my charting and circled things that she thought I was lying about. I received a hefty write up (level 3...4 is dismissal). When I was working this week I took my lunch break and came back early....to find her going through all of my charting (she was charging). To say that I feel threatened is a gross understatement. The nurse manager told me that if I make one more mistake then I will be dismissed. Yicks! I am an absolute nervous wreck. Things get out of control very fast in the ICU. And we are currently so short staffed that most RN's have to take 3 pts each. My nurse manager told me that I was not using my resources appropriately but it is hard when everyone is as busy or busier than you are! My intentions are to move within the next 4 wks...but I am wondering if I should go ahead and resign now to avoid the chances of getting fired first. And one additional note....if I were to do it all over again....I would never never never take a position in an ICU right out of nursing school. There is just too much that you DON'T know!!!

Thank you thank you thank you for sharing this story. I too work in the ICU and I often go home feeling like I didn't do enough or should have done something differently. This reminds me that sometimes just showing compassion and tenderness to a family is enough......sometimes that is all we have to give a family comfort. Bless you!!!!

I spent my entire life with SVT. It is definitely scary and can hinder your lifestyle. When I was a little girl I would tell my mom that I "jump-started" my heart. At first laying down very still would make it go away, but as time went on I developed a lot of little tricks to make it stop. My bag of tricks ranged from ice water on my face, valsava, laying on my side and squishing my chest together, coughing hard, holding my breath (this one I tried when I was about 8 or 9 and it didn't do much but make be get woozy), and as an adult...keeping my stress level down (easier said than done), no caff., no sudden movements--getting startled always brought on a crazy episode. However, at about the age of 38 I was "jump-starting" my heart 6-10X a day! My HR rate would reach 225 bpm and it was no longer just uncomfortable--it was accompanied by a great deal of pain. I was also no longer able to stop it on my own (ER here I come...again!). And yes... I had every test run that the cardiologists could think of and they could find nothing wrong. I finally forced my cardiologists hand and demanded an ablation (I had read about it on-line). It took me 12 months to find a surgeon in our area to do the ablation, but it changed my life. The surgery was a piece of cake and I no longer have to worry about "jump-starting" my heart! Having said all of that...I did take different medications the last year and many of them helped a lot, but I didn't like the way they made me feel so I really felt like the ablation was the way for me to go.

Everyone is correct...it can be done. At 38 I decided that I was going to do whatever it took to get into nursing school. That meant re-taking MANY classes in order for my GPA to improve. I also sat beside my 17 year old child and re-took the ACT (the nursing program I was trying to get into considered ACT scores as well as GPA). I spent months studying for that sucker...and got a higher score than my straight A son. My husband constantly told me to "stack the deck baby"...and stack it I did. I called the school I wanted to attend and asked for an appointment with the dean of nursing; I expressed my interest in the program and asked a lot of questions~ she later told me that it impressed her a great deal. I was willing to do whatever it took to improve my chances for acceptance. If this is something that you want badly you will do what needs to be done. Oh....and I did it with 3 kids at home, working part-time (even when we REALLY needed for me to be working full-time), etc. A positive, "can do" attitude goes a long way too! My thoughts and prayers to you....imagine only the best for yourself and it can happen!

Was just there myself! Someone asked me today what I learned about myself last week during my clinical rotation in the ED and my response was "That I am not as smart as I think I am!" Really...it is overwhelming and difficult to prepare for an ED rotation. But WOW did I learn a lot.

Well, I have yet to experience any member issues...yet. And I am thankful for that. This week: 1. Walking down hall to go on a break. Call light goes off. I go in rm. Pt. says "I ****** myself and it's your fault." REALLY? "Yeah... you didn't get here fast enough!" Whatever!!!! 2. Pt. up adlib. Pt sitting in shower, pulls emergency call cord. Pt. starts screaming...and I mean screaming..."HELP! HELP!" I go running in there as fast as lightening with visions of law suit swirling through my head. I pull the curtain and she looks up at me..."I dropped my soap!" 3. Pt. had gallbladder removed. Was up adlib at this point. I went into rm. to check on him and he informed me that he crapped in his bed because he didn't feel like getting up. And then as I was trying to clean him up (he didn't feel like that either) he told me he was going to crap again. I told him to stop immediately so that he could WALK to the bathroom and he told me that it was just easier for him to crap in his bed and them he proceded to literally crap all over my hand, arm, bed, etc. Nice!

I so understand! After a particularly difficult day I locked myself in the bathroom and cried and cried and cried....a patient's bathroom! I have never felt so out of place and just plain stupid in my entire life as I did when I first started working on a medsurg/onc floor. But as the weeks go on things do become easier. And although I might be really bad at changing a nasty brief; I can handle the meanest patient and have them smiling in no time. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. The very fact that you are concerned about how you are treating your patients tells me that you are ahead of the game.

I was determined to NOT drag one of those rolling backpacks around....but mid-semester I caved. After carrying the books, notebooks, steth., b/p cuff, etc etc I decided my back needed the extra care. I was also getting a sore neck from bending over a desk so much and carrying a heavy backpack was making it worse.

what did these "openly hostile women" do? and i think it would have been the primary nurse who would have been 'obligated' (if that's even the correct term) to assist you...no one else. no eye-contact, walking down the hallway talking crap about other nursing students (loudly), in morning conference when students greeted them or asked good/intellegent questions they blatantly ignored them.the primary nurse that i was helping that day did not say one single word to me the entire day. when i went to the nurses station to ask her if there was anything else that i could be doing she wouldn't even look up at me (she was looking at someones wedding photos), and grunted some reply. this is a small hospital- 25 beds. these women had 3 patients each. it was not like they were running around like chickens with their heads cut off and just didn't have the time to, at the very minimum, acknowledge our presense. how was she "arrogant, rude, and belligerent" to the client? what did she say to her? if she was, that's reportible. similar behavior: making no eye-contact with the client, man-handling her, when she barked a command at her it was in an insensitive manner, etc. she was visably scaring this woman. she made "jokes" about my client and others and encouraged us repeatedly to break hospital rules when it suited her....in regards to direct client care. for example? charting things that were never done. documenting physical findings that she did not check. later in the day i learned that we were supposed to chart something every 2 hours and she charted only twice the entire day and put bogus times on the chart both times. please correct me if i am wrong, but in school they have taught us that this is a huge no-no. wouldn't it make more sense to share the more major events, rather than the bedbath, if that was such a small thing? she didn't do anything. she walked around eating, took a nap in an empty room, disappeared 30 minutes at a time, i didn't see her wash her hands one time the entire day, etc etc etc. the bed-bath incident was the last event of the day so it was on my mind the most. frankly, it was the totality of the days events that ended with the bed-bath that made me so upset. she did not provide any basic or advanced care for this woman. isn't that enough? i kid you not, this woman would have laid in the bed all day long without having assistance eating, repositioning, getting cleaned up, etc if i had not insisted on doing it. and even when i insisted she would sigh loudly and roll her eyes "fine~ if you really want to". well hell yes i want to... the woman is lying in there looking, smelling, and feeling like crap. i am supposed to be her advocate and have her best interest in mind. i could care less if she was rude to me. i certainly have had enough life experience to know that there are people out there that are idiots, but i was not expecting such behavior on my first day in clinicals. please forgive me for being so naive, but i did not think that someone would be so blatant. i readily admit that she freaked me out...but not on a personal level. she freaked me out because she might take care of someone i love someday.... what a tragedy.

Thank you for your comments. After a sleepless night, I telephoned the other nursing student that had to deal with this "nurse", we both agreed that we should meet with the clinical instructor and tell her about our experience. In hind sight I should have just done exactly what I knew was right.... the suggestion of "this is what my book says.." is a great one. I will use that. It was an overwhelming day. I have heard about the attitudes of some in regards to student nurses, but I was not expecting it from someone who was still a nursing student herself. And yeah.... I found it to be a bit odd that I was being "instructed/supervised" by someone that was only a couple semesters ahead of me. But truth be told... the others in our clinical had really positive experiences with their nurses. We'll see how it goes next week:confused: