This is not the way it has to be! I feel your pain. We have some residents like her. The food and activity ideas are good ones. Another thing we have tried are new incontinence products designed to be used for 8-12 hours. They have a special powder in them that turns to gel when wet. If she can fight getting out of bed, can she make slight adjustments in her position to stop skin break down? We have had really good luck with these briefs over the last year. They are slightly more expensive than regular supplies, but not when you consider that you use fewer of them. Also, the human cost is immeasurable. Thank you for your fight for her rights.