AIS52

I had a similar experience except that my false positive was for HIV!!! If I remember correctly they do two screenings, one for the actual virus (very specific) and one for antibodies (non-specific), and my antibody screening came back slightly posi...

Two good ones- On the floor census, "S/P CABBAGE" or on the preop checklist in the belongings section "family took toilet trees home"

I've never had anyone ask me if I'm gay, in fact many of the women when they find out I'm not married want to introduce me to their granddaughter, daughter, niece, etc. so I'm not worried if the patients think I'm gay or not. Besides would you thin...

At the last hospital I worked we had a Cardiothoracic Surgeon who underwent a sex change. She had to send out a letter to all her patients informing them and while a few left, most stayed. In fact many said they felt more comfortable seeing her no...

Jimmy Buffett's "Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes" for my personal favorite line that sums up just about everyone in healthcare- "If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane." I can never resist singing (in my head at least) "Fins" when rol...

Well, often times they will split the money recovered with you 50/50! I know insurance companies do this because my aunt is an attorney who specializes in medicare fraud. When she had surgery a few years ago she requested an itemized bill for her st...

About 30+ years ago my uncle was living in the far reaches of Northern Canada when his appy ruptured late one night. The only doctor for hundreds of miles was drunk and left several instruments and sponges inside him. To this day you can still see qu...

I bought a Littmann Master Classic II and my dad gave me so much crap about how I wasted my money. "I've been a nurse over 25 years now and I have never had a problem with cheap stethoscopes- it's the listener, NOT the stethoscope" he'd say. I had th...

A few I've collected; -Metoprolol 1000 mg PO BID So we call the doc and ask what he meant. He says "I didn't write that order. Call the House Staff." We remind him that HE put this patient is on private service so no residents covering. He says "well...

When patients ask me if Nursing is a stop on the road to med school (and no, the gay question has NEVER come up), my favorite answer is "No thanks, I'd like to be around to watch my children grow up." Works like a charm everytime.

I paid the extra money for one of Littman's black series stethoscopes. It's 100% black- even exposed metal. I've only seen two like it before and working on a cardiothoracic floor, it seems like everyone right down to dietary has a Littman around th...

I have never run into a problem with any coworkers. In fact when I started on my floor all the nurses were glad to finally "have a guy around again." Now there are four of us and sometimes we outnumber the women.

The other night I hear a pt's o2 humidifier bottle back up, usually because water is in the o2 tubing or it has kinked and the oxygen needs to escape somewhere so it makes a whistling sound as goes. Unfortunately I forgot this also increases airpress...

When I started 3-11 and many patients were sleeping when I left, I started waking up thinking I WAS IN A PATIENT'S BED!!! Thank god those dreams stopped but I swear my computer's fan sometimes makes a sound like the call bell.

Unless things have changed, Massachusetts is the ONLY state to use 100% of the settlement money for anti-tobacco campaigns.

After dealing with the biggest PIA son all day, the pt's husband (and PIA's father) shows up and says (and I quote) "Has my pain in the a$$ son been bothering you? Just tell him to shut up and kick him out of here. I'm serious!" My only question was...

ALL post cabg pts have dietician and pt consults. Ambulation begins either same day or next day (if late) of extubation and then done QID or greater (portable suction machine allows ambulation with CT's) and a Dietician sees pt again before d/c for...

Its especially nice when you can transfer PIA patients ruled out for MI's but have other noncardiac issues off the floor.

I usually wore scrubs but once in a while I would wear regular clothes (maybe kahkis and a sweater, etc). Once for Halloween I dressed up really scary- that's right, I wore a tie to work. My costume? A 9-5 person! Actually, I found it really doesn...

Heaven help the person who complains to our NM that nights does nothing! She was a night nursing supervisor for over 20 years and knows very well that nearly ALL admissions come on the 3-11 shift and that the patients don't sleep all night!

My father has been a CCU nurse for ever- when it came time for me to buy a stethoscope he kept telling me to buy something inexpensive like the LIttmann Lightweight because there is no difference. I bought the Master Classic and he laughed at me eve...

How about a big shaggy dog in to see a patient with an open sternal wound inftected with mrsa? Question 1- Who just brings a dog into the hospital without checking first??? I fully believe in animal therapy where appropriate- and this was definately...

Well here's how she hired our new Clinical Educator: Narrow the field down to the two strongest candidates, then introduce them to the unit in a brief question and answer period (no scripted questions either- everything spontaneous) and let the floor...

Here's a good one I witnessed: Biomed has this cool little tool (or toy) that tests the tele monitors. It can produce a perfect arrythmia so while testing the monitors, the tech put in a name and room then set his little box for VF! You should have...

I'll work on the cloning thing- and yes we do let her know how much we appreciate her. She let's us know how much we are appreciated and vice versa.