amygooch

I realize that your original post is a year old, however I wanted to give you some info, in case you are still suffering, or someone else reads this who has IC and is suffering. I also have IC (Interstitial Cystitis). It can definately be debilitating, however, there are lots of treatments. First of all, I recommend that you visit www.ic-network.com It is THE site for information about IC. There are many treatments that you havent tried yet, so please dont give up! The standard treatments are Elmiron, ( a med to coat the bladder), Antihistimines (such as Atarax, to inhibit mast cell production in the bladder), Elavil, (an anti-depressant that also seems to help some with Neuropathic pain..which some believe some forms ofIC to be), Vesicare (or similar meds which help with urgency and frequency and also help with bladder spasms), Urimar-T or similar meds, (these also help with urgency frequency, and help with the burning upon urination), Neurontin or other drugs in the anticonvulsant family (if yours is thought to be from Neuropathic pain.) There are many more, but these are a good starting place. Also, of tremendous importance is following the IC diet. There is a link for this at www.ic-network.com This single steps helps some of the milder cases so much that many are able to control their symptoms with diet only! However, it usually takes a few months to see a noticable difference. Some examples of trigger foods for most: Caffine, spicy foods, alchol, cigarettes, citris foods, acidic foods and beverages, and many more. PLease check out the link I gave you. You will be so glad you did!! OH, one more thing!! NEVER drink cranberry juice, no matter what your well meaning friends and family may tell you!! It is EXTEMELY acidic and will cause you SEVERE pain!! As for pain relief, most ICers cannot take NSAIDS, including Motrin. If you are taking it, that alone could cause you to go into a flare!! Several patients do well with meds instilled directly into their bladders via small caths (5 French, aka Infant feeding tubes). These are called Rescue INstills, and can be done at a home. They contain Marcaine or Lidocaine (To numb the bladder), Heparin, (to thin the walls and help the Marcaine absorb), and Sodium Bicarb (to neutralize the acidity that may be increasing your pain.) I do these at home now, daily, as needed. Also, there are good pain clinics out there who can help you if pain is a big factor. However, many Uros will only send you there as a last resort, after everything else has been tried. (Not, all, but a great deal of them). I currently utilize the services of a pain clinic. I am on all of the above, in addition to 30 mg Kadian (24 hour extended release Morphine), and Lortab 10mg for breakthru pain. However, it was NOT easy to get referred there and was a long time coming. I also have Lupus, Endo (that had grown thru my bladder), Fibro, Vulvar Vestibulitis, and a few other things. It STILL took a long time to get pain mgmt, which I find inexcusable. Even then, at my first appt at the pain clinic, the pain Dr. asked me, (in a very demeaning manner), "Is IC honestly that bad? I mean, I dont have any other IC patients under my care! If it were REALLY that bad, wouldnt I have other patients being sent to me with this?" To which I replied, "Yes it is honestly "that bad", and obviously my URo thinks so, or he wouldnt have referred me here. And obviously my Gyno and PCP agree with him, since they wrote letters for me to disablity stating that they agreed with him that my pain is incapacitating and agreed with him that I should be declared legally disabled! And since the SSD Drs agreed, and a judge, I am now medically and legally disabled b/c of it. However, if the word of 3 of my Drs, 2 of SSD's Drs, and a judge for the federal govt arent good enough for you, then I seriously doubt anything I say will make much difference to you!" (It had taken me YEARS to get the pain relief I deserved, after suffering all day every day, and then to have this jerk act like I was just some drug-seeker was more than I could bear!) After I said all that, I got up to walk out, and he apologized for offending me. It took a while, but I am finally on the right dose for me. You will get there too. But whatever you do, do NOT give up! If you ever need me, or want to talk to someone who understands, feel free to pm me. I will be glad to help you anyway I can. I truly feel for you....literally. I hope that you have relief by now, but if you dont, then I hope this helps. Sincerely, Amy G.

I personally know of 2 "system milkers". One, (I am ashamed to admit), is my own cousin. She is 32, and on full disability. She had cancer. It is gone now. Miraculously, they got it all! She has NO symptoms whatsoever, and although she was very sick for about 4 months, after her surgery, the cancer is gone. However, did she give up her check and go back to work? Hell no!! She also wont marry her fiance of 4 years b/c they are living together (unofficially, of course) anyway and if she married him, she would have a smaller check. She has not been to ANY Dr. in over 3 years!! However, when she got on SSD, she was considered terminal. So, they didnt schedule her for review for 7 years. She definately has that sense of entitlement, thinks the world owes her something. She also recieved multiple benefits from the community at the time and raked in $26,000. (Several of the largest donations came from area churches..even though she attends nowhere....Three each gave her $3000 because at that time, they heard she had no insurance and it would be a while before disability came in. She had lied. She DID have insurance, and disability only took a month in her case b/c she was terminal. She also had a cancer policy that paid alot. However, do you think she gave any of it back to them when she didnt need it? NOPE! After her surgery when she was cured, she went on several shopping sprees, plus a cruise, and spent the rest to remodel a house someone gave her (she lived in an old run down trailor and a rich woman passed away and left my cousin her house after she heard she had cancer and was living in a run down trailor.) At the time she was given the house, the cancer was gone!! Did she tell anyone that? Nope!!! It steams me beyond belief!!Then, the other one I know is on SSD for a "bad back". However, he does manual labor jobs ALL THE TIME, off the books, for cash. What kind of manual labor? Framing houses!!! Yeah, he has a bad back alright!!!! Sorry for the rant, but as you can see, this is my pet peeve!!! But, suffice it to say, there are LOTS of ways of abusing the system, and unfortunately, anyone with those kind of inclinations will have no trouble figuring them out.

Oh, Lori!!! I am SOOOO happy!!! I am crying from joy and relief, even as I write this! You have been so on my mind from the moment I read your thread that I havent been able to quit thinking and praying! I am so happy that you have been offered this job and that it is in fact a better job than what you had before! Although I have been praying, I have to say, I was worried! But, I shouldnt have been. I should have known that God was going to take care of you just to get all of us to quit bugging him! :wink2: Thank you for reminding me that prayer works! I am so glad that the money saving tips helped several of you. I have a bunch more that I plan to post, but I have been sick this week and havent had the energy yet. But, as soon as I get this through this flare (Lupus), I will start a new thread and move the other tips there and add the new ones. Hopefully, maybe others will add their own economizing ideas to it too! To whoever the secret donor is, I send my respect and admiration for your act of kindness and generosity. Like one of the former posters, you have restored a bit of my faith in humanity too! May we all learn by your example and your selfless instructions to "pay it forward". Hugs to all, Amy

Dear Lori, Thank you for the thank you, and your kind words! I have been thinking of you and praying for you intermittantly all day. I am SOO happy to hear you sounding in better spirits! I truly believe that you are going to end up with something much better than the job you left! I think the children's psych hospital sounds like a wonderful fit for you, in all regards except the hours. However, there is nothing that says that if you are offered that job and accept, that a 11-7 shift wont open up later on! After all, it is not like you are seeking days or something! There cant be that many people beating the doors down anywhere to work 11-7! (At least I wouldnt think so!) I will continue to pray for you, your grandmother, and your family. I am hoping and praying that you find something that fits you perfectly and you absolutely love! Please continue to keep us posted on the job hunt, and the interview tomorrow. Please remember all that I told you before about how we will be praying and there in spirit, along with the angels who will be watching over you. Sending enormous hugs to you, Amy

Miranda, I just have to tell you that I totally LOVE your writing style!! You expressed every thought I had, and others that I would have only had if I was as smart as you, but that I totally agree with!! :) Thanks for expressing "our" thoughts! Hugs, Amy

Dear Lori, I hope no one minds, but since you belive in prayer as I do, I wanted to post mine so you KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am praying for you. (I had a friend tell me once that she just wasnt sure if people really prayed when they said they did, and I want you to know that we are praying for you, that is why I am choosing to post it.) So, anyone who doesnt wish to read this, please skip ahead to the next post. Thank you! Dear Holy, Heavenly Father, We come before you now to ask for you to watch over our sister, Lori. As you know, she has been having a very difficult time lately. We want to ask you to please give her the strength she needs to endure the days ahead and remind her to place her burdens on you, and trust that you will take care of things. Please ease the pain of her dear Grandmother, and bless those who care for her. Please ease the emotional pain of those who love her and must watch something so difficult. When her time comes, please give her a peaceful transition to the next life, and send peace to her and those who love her, especially, Lori. We ask you to give Lori the right words to explain her situation to future employers, and that you will guide her to the path you would like her to take. We know that everything happens for a reason, and we ask that you make Lori stronger from this experiance. Please comfort her when she cries and help her to realize that you made her human and that the only person who ever walked this earth that never made a mistake was your son, Jesus Christ. Please remind those who would cast stones, what you said about "Let them that are without sin cast the first stone." Also, help those who hear her story now and in the future (such as prospective employers), remember that it is also written "Judge not, lest ye also be judged". Please help all remember to show her compassion, support and kindness in this her time of need. Please help steer her to a workplace that will be a better place than where she was before, and where she can use all of her talents to serve her patients and above all, to serve you. Please send angels to watch over her tomorrow in the interview, and in the days to come. When she sees an empty chair in the room tomorrow, please remind her that it is NOT empty, that we are there in that chair in spirit supporting her, as we think of her, and pray for her at home. Please help Lori and her husband with their financial situation, and ease this burden from her. Please make her mindful that this too shall pass and she will get thru it, and help her to remember that it is written, "Consider the lilies of the field, they toil not, neither do they do they spin. And yet I say unto you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed as one of these!! Wherefore if God so clothe the grass of the field which today is and tommorrow shall be cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you? O ye of little faith!" Matthew 6:28-30. So please keep her remember that you love her, and that you WILL take care of her too!! :) Thank you again, God, for all you have done for all of us! Please forgive all of us for all of our sins, and watch over each of us, but most espeically Lori. We also ask that you watch over all of our children, and also the sick, and all of our soldiers and their families, and bring them home safely. We ask these things in the name of your holy son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

:yeahthat:

Dear Lori, I am sorry I am so late joining this thread. I just discovered it today. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. It breaks my heart that you are having to go thru this. But, please dont be embarrassed or ashamed for being fired. I have been fired many times. I was fired from one place 3 differant times. Yup! That is right! 3 times just from 1 place!! I think that is a record! (It was before I was in nursing...I sold cars, but I was really bad at it, so they kept firing me. But, I what can I say? I am alot of fun to be around so they missed me and kept hiring me back!!! LOL! But, they kept telling me, YOU GOTTA find another occupation! You stink at this!!! You know we only hired you back b/c we like you!!) I was also fired from 1 job in nursing b/c my supervisor did NOT like me. So, I know the hurt, shame and embarrassment you are feeling. Let's deal with that first! What helped me more than any kind words of friends, was KNOWING that my coworkers knew my side of things and heard it from me. Whether they believed me or not, was up to them, but I was going to be damned if I didnt at least make them hear my side!! So, since I felt to awkward going in there, or even calling, I wrote each one a letter and told them that I felt I needed to explain, and needed that for closure for myself. I told them that I didnt expect or need for them to respond, but I just needed to know that I got my side heard. Then, I wrote it all out to each of them and mailed it. It was cathartic for me. Others may disagree, or think this is crazy, but I needed to do that. And you know what? Every single person called me and offered me words of hope and encouragement and some offered me references!! I personally got more from that than I could have gotten from years of therapy! But, maybe that is just me! The important thing is for you to deal with this in your own way. My way worked for me, but it might not be right for you. Do what feels right for you. Moving on, I know that your finances are extremely tight right now. Lord knows I have been there too! Here is some practical advice on dealing with this. First of all, you should absoltutely file for unemployment! I have no doubt you will get it, and I dont even think you will have to fight for it! Secondly, you need to call the Administrator, and explain what happened and tell them that you have an outstanding record there and you made one mistake, and you feel it would only be fair to give you severence pay. Ask for a months pay. If they say no, ask for 2 weeks pay. Ask for any unpaid vacation and sick days you acrued to be paid. All they can say is no, and if they do, you are no worse off then you are now. But, they might say yes! (It wouldnt hurt to remember, that you worked there for a LONG time and saw lots of things that the state board and patients families might not be real happy about! If necessary, I would remind him/her of this. While your at it, why not ask for a letter of recomendation? After all, you DO have a great record, and you ARE a good nurse! It would not hurt them to write something on your behalf saying so, and I wouldnt be surpised at all if they agree to, inspite of everything. Besides, once again, if they say no, you havent lost anything by asking!! After completing the above, call the minister of your church and explain your situation. Ask the church to help you. If you do not attend anywhere, and you have family members who do, have them call their churches, and ask for help for help. You will be helped! My father is a minister, and our church helps people in these situations quite frequently. It is all confindential, and usually they will offer to pay several bills, or the rent, or both, or give you a check for a certain amount. But you will be helped. There is no need to be embarrassed to ask! This is what it is for!!! No one minds helping someone like you! We mind helping deadbeat, welfare moms who wont work and stay home making baby after baby! We mind helping the lazy, the drunks, and all of those. ( But, I digress!) NO ONE minds helping YOU! Everyone WANTS to help you!! If you do not get enough this way to pay your bills, ask your family for help. If they have it, they will help you. But, you must pay it back as quickly as you can!! If you have a 401K, borrow from it if you need to pay bills the next few months. I know you plan to be employed soon, but do the paperwork now, just in case! (And no, I dont think you will be unemployed for long, but we dont want to take any chances, do we?!!) Then, if there are any food pantries in your area, go and get groceries. They dont mind helping you either! That is what these places are for!! USe the resources that you have! IF you feel embarrassed, go to one out of town where no one knows you, but do go!! If you feel guilty, then just promise yourself that you will pay back whatever you use when you start workiing again, plus a little more. And do it! Also, dont forget to hint to friends with gardens about how much you LOVE home grown veggies, and would kill for any of their extras. I guarentee you they will load you down with whatever they have. I am a Southerner like you, and I grow a garden, and I can assure you that ALL Southerners who grow gardens are like this!! We are happy to share with friends! For more cash now, raise the deducables on your home owners and auto insurance. (You can always lower them again after you are employed again!) Then ask your ins agent, to refund you the differance in the overpayment for the last few months you have paid, if you paid 3-6m at a time) If you have a car pmt, call the bank, and explain dire necessity to them and ask to be able to pay interest only for the next month or two. (If you have good credit, most will happily oblige you for 1 month at least, and possibly 2). Cancel the cable or satellite if you dont have a contract with them. I know this one is HARD to do, but times are hard and this is money you need!! To compensate for the missing channels, go to the public library and rent movies there. You can rent 10 at a time at most. So can your husband and kids! (If they arent with you, you can do it for them if you take their library cards!) So with a family of 4, that means you can rent 40 movies a week!! That ought to give you plenty to watch!! But, if there are still certain shows you HAVE to see, then ask a friend to tape it for you! If there is a movie you want to see that your library doesnt have, it can borrow it from another library. All for free!! Ready for your next assignment yet?? Go to the area beauty shops and ask if you can have the magazines they plan to throw away when the new months arrive. Most will give them gladly, as they are pretty heavy in the trash. Then, enjoy reading them yourself while you lick your wounds. When you are reading to join the world again, take these mags to a care facility you hope to work in, and give them to the residents to enjoy. There are several reasons to do this: 1) It will give you free reading material. 2) It will give the residents free reading material. 3) You will be very noticable carrying a HUGE stack of mags into a nursing home, giving them away. Someone from the staff is sure to talk to you, which will get you talking about how you love old people and miss them, since you used to see them all the time where you used to work, etc. Then they will tell you how short staffed they are and how you should apply there.... blah, blah, blah!!! Then you have someone there who is SURE to tell someone how nice you are and how you brought the residents all those mags, etc!!! :) Doubt this will work? I got a job this very way!! :) Round up all the clothes that you have that are nice, but no longer fit, and take them to a consignment shop. This will bring in some more extra money while money is tight! For prescription meds you take regularly (like anti-depressants, birth control pills or whatever applies to you), ask your Dr for free samples. This one should be obvious to most of us here, but sometimes the obvious gets overlooked! If an unexpected expense comes up that you have to have, such as a plumber for a clogged pipe or a car repair, try to seek out an independant business instead of a chain. This way you can negotiate the price instead of paying list. Also, you may be able to barter services by doing a trade out. For example, you might see if they have an elderly parent that you could sit with for X number of hours following surgery or hospitlization. Most people would kill to have an experianced nurse watch over a family member in a time of need. If he cant use your services in your chosen field, perhaps he would be willing to fix your car in exchange for your cleaning his house? OR, Maybe you could set up a website for him in exchanbe for the repair? The point is to think outside the box and be creative! Dont forget you have many skills!! You are fortunate that this is one of the cheapest months of the year for the electric bill, since most people dont run the A/C or the heat in Sept or the Oct. :) However, on those cool nights, use the electric blanket instead of turning on the heat. It will save several dollars on your bill!! The biggest electricity waster is the hot water heater. Put a timer on it for 30 min before the 1st person gets up, and for it to quit heating at whatever time the last person goes to bed. No need to pay for it to heat all night when no one will be using it!! This will save 30% on the cost of running it, which will translate to a huge chunk on your bill!! Also, make use of the crock pot instead of the stove. Why? 1) It costs about 2% of what a stove does to operate. 2) It is quick and easy...you can put in meats frozen, and have them cooked by dinner! 3) They make great Soups/Stews. These are some of the least expensive meals, and also some of the healthiest. 4) You can put it on in the am, go job hunting, and come home to a hot dinner, which will make you less likely to order a pizza just b/c you are tired! :) To save more on the electric bill, line dry clothes instead of tossing in the dryer. Dont have a clothes line? Layer shower curtain rods over your tub. For example, mine has the outside rod, (which holds the decorative shower curtain.) Then, behind that, is the rod that holds the shower curtain liner. Then, behind THAT, there is another rod. This one is used to hang towels that have been used to dry off after showers. (Each family member has a different color so, they dont get confused, and the towels get washed once a week.) This saves on water, detergent, wear and tear on the towels (incl. shrinking) and the irritation of seeing towels everywhere, not to mention the labor of the laundry!! But best of all, it is all hidden behind the shower curtain!! I also use this rod to drip dry undies, stockings, lingerie, etc. But, then I have ANOTHER rod behind that one. (This makes 4 rods, for anyone who is still following this!) The last rod is used to hang clothes to dry when it is too cold or rainy to use the clothesline, and also for things that cant be dried in the dryer (such as comforters that are too big!). By the way, in case you are wondering, those mini "hair claw" things are what I use as "clothes pins" for the shower rods. We have 3 bathrooms, and I have this same set up in 2 of them. It is quite handy!! (The other bath has a garden, whirlpool tub, so I couldnt do it in there:( ) I have TONS more, but I dont want to overload you (or anyone else here.) If you want to hear any more, let me know, and I will post them or pm them to you. I just want to help. I really do. I am not saying that all of these tips are for you. Or that any of this advice is for you. I just hope that some of it helps somehow. I have told you all of this b/c I know what it is like to be worried about money, and as upset as you are about being fired, I am sure the money is a hugs stresser. That is why I wanted to focus on telling you the tips that got me thru. I am sure many of you think I am crazy to go to some of these frugal extremes, but I actually honest to goodness dont mind them now! I thought I would DIE when I had to cancel the satellite, but you know what? We actually have become closer as a family and as a couple, since we dont have it! We still have the library videos when we want to zone out, but once I got employed again, I didnt miss this enough to add it back! (Which was HUGE for me!!!) It is funny, but I actually ENJOY trying to save money now! I hope some of my tips have helped you. (As you can see, I am worried about you.! :icon_hug: I wish I lived nearby so I could come over with chocolate, Margarita mix, a massusse, and good comedy to cheer you up!) But, unfortunately my cyber hugs will have to do! But please pm me anytime if I can help! Lots of hugs, Amy Gooch

If they do a background check on her, (and they most likely will, since she will have access to meds), then her employment history will show up! It actually shows up on credit bureau reports! So, she pretty well is going to have to use them. But, before she decides what to put down as her reason for leaving, she needs to find out what her former employer is going to say. (Yes, I know it is illegal to give anything but the dates of employment, but you would be astonished at how often people say more!!) So, the only way Lori will find this out is to have a friend call and pretend to be a potential employer and question the former employer. Have the friend ask the Formeremployer why Lori left and see what they say. Then, when Lori finds out, she can tell us, and we can think of how to put the right spin in it. With all of the educated minds here and so many caring folk, we will come up with something!!!! By the way, Lori, when you have the friend call, you can also have your friend use 3 way calling so that you can hear EXACTLY what they say about you. You can even record it. (Radio Shack has recording devices that attach to phones.) I would record it so if they say more than what is legally allowed, you can sue if you wish, or at the very least, call back and play it for them and scare the living daylights out of them by threatening a lawsuit if they dont give you a written letter of recomendation and adequate severence pay!!! Just a thought!!

OH you poor thing!! I cant believe that you were treated so badly!! It doesnt matter if you are a nurse or not! NO ONE is able to care for themselves straight out of surgery!! GRRRR!!!! That being said, I see you have already been given excellent advice, particularly regarding www.hystersisters.com It is an excellent site that I used after my own TAH/BSO last year. The only other suggestions I can give is to have your husband place a cooler beside your bed each day with drinks, sandwiches, snacks, etc. so you dont have to get out of bed any more than is necessary. Also, if you dont have an adequately large bedside table, an ironing board will do quite nicely, and it has the added bonus of being height adjustable! Place a kitchen chair beside your bed to use as a hand rail to help you get up and down. The Hyster Sister site has a product called a Swelly-Belly Band, that I whole heartedly recommend. It will give you great relief. Also, have your Hubby go by Walgreens or Walmart and pick up a thing called "The Grabber". It costs about $12, and is a Godsend! It will help you reach things without bending. One other helpful hint is to use the motorized chairs at the grocery and Walmart when you venture out the first few times, (and after that if you still hurt). Dont be proud! Who do you think they are for???!!! Even if you dont think you need it when you get there, believe me, you will need it by the time you leave!! So trust me, use it and hold your head high!! YOu just had surgery!!! Be kind to yourself! Also, accept ALL offers of help graciously. The old ladies from church want to bring you dinner for a few days? Practice saying, "That would be lovely, thank you so much!!" Bite your tongue before you say you dont need anything!! The offers will be gone in a few weeks, trust me! Take full advantage while you can!! Along this same line, when friends and family come to visit and ask if there is anything you need, ask them if they would mind throwing a load in the washer before they go, or loading the dishwasher before they leave, since you cant. TRUE friends honestly do not mind!! PEople really DO want to help! It makes them feel good to do something for someone else! Dont take that from them!!!! Your ONLY jobs are to rest, heal, watch tv, read, take your meds, try to have a GOOD bm, and write thank you notes for every kindness extended to you!!! And believe me, after major surgery, those are hard enough!!! I am sending you healing thoughts and will say a prayer for you to feel better soon. Hugs, Amy

i have to respectfully disagree with you. i say this from personal experiance. before i was married and had a son, i was very attractive. not tooting my own horn, but i was. and other women were very jealous and insecure, and yes, downright mean. then, after i got pregnant and gained way too much weight, i am now about 35lbs overweight, and no longer pretty, and those exact, same people are very nice to me! i have the exact same personality that i have always had, but it is nothing short of amazing at how differently i am treated!!! so, i believe the op!as far as er nurses being "meaner" than floor nurses, i can see her point there too. i dont think that they are meaner, i think that some think that because er nurses are a bit more jaded from years of seeing so many drug seekers. i have no doubt that we have probobly dismissed someone in true pain at one time or another as just another drug seeker. floor nurses at least have the luxury of taking care of patients that have been pre-screened. i mean if a pt makes it to the floor, then they have at least proven that they have a real problem, meriting some sort of attn and meds. but, in the er, it is a whole different story!! jmho